Mass Displacement
by Lachdannen
Summary: Waking up over a hundred years in the future from cold sleep is...disorienting. Trying to survive in that future can really twist you in knots. Self Insert.
1. Chapter 1 - Wake

I am not a morning person.

I don't like to wake up, I like even less to get up, and I normally require a sacrifice of ham, eggs, and potatoes, with a cup of steaming coffee to pry me from my slumber.

Apparently, all of that becomes entirely unnecessary when I wake up inside something that the only word I think of to describe is "coffin."

I blinked. _What the hell? I'm dreaming. Yup, I'm dreaming, I'm not awake, that doesn't make sense. But when I'm dreaming and know it, I wake up. Um …._

Something on the other side of the coffin-thing's semi-transparent surface moved. I couldn't make out details though. Apparently I hadn't bothered to bring my glasses to this dream. And being nearsighted, blurry turned into indistinguishable within a few feet. That was smart.

The interior felt cramped but I could still bring my hand up to press against the orange-tinted surface. To my surprise, heat met my hand, and it made me think of a piece of machinery that had just been turned off to cool. The whole capsule-thing shivered like someone had just flipped on a massage chair, and the air around me began to grow warmer.

A shriek echoed through the confines of my strange, tight prison. The first, a woman's, grated on my ears in an agonized yowl that sent a shiver of cold settling in my stomach, a cold and tight block of condensed fear. Her voice echoed hollowly through my amber-colored prison. Then another; a higher thinner scream. Next a man's voice joined in, adding to the cacophony with a horrified baritone. And just when I didn't think I could be more frightened, the first voice stopped, choked off in a sickening, wet sound.

_What the HELL kind of dream is this? Out. I have to get out. Out, out, out. _

I started banging on the inside of the pod-thing's glass and shouting, hammering my hand against it with a hollow thump. Someone must have heard me, or heard the others screams. "Get them out, now!"

The voice sounded strange, coming through the coffins outside, and muffled by something else on top of that. There was a flicker of movement as someone ran past, and then another. Blood pounded in my ears and my heart raced as I clawed at the inside. I am not claustrophobic, but this was getting to be too much.

"Come on, somebody, let me—"

Even without my glasses and through the amber barrier, I could see the _thing_ on the other side as it moved and pressed against the side. Its head tilted to one side, a single reptilian eye staring at me. Boney armored plates ran across the top of its head, and it … smiled? Its mouth contained dozens of shark-like teeth which I found absolutely riveting. The way a deer tends to be frozen in place my headlights of the oncoming semi. My fascination lasted right up to the point it grabbed the pod on either side and heaved.

Shark-man was apparently strong. Very, very, _very _strong

I tried to brace myself in the small confines as a series of snaps and hissing noises echoed through my impromptu prison. The coffin shuddered, and I had a sickening moment of weightlessness as the coffin—with me inside it—was peeled away from the wall by the sheer monstrous strength of...whatever he was. Or she was. Or it.

The pod came down with enough force that the only thing I could compare it to was a low speed car crash. Somewhere in between the sound of metal grinding on metal and the snapping sound my brain associated with that of cracked glass, I rebounded off the inside of the coffin's interior like some kind of human-shaped bouncy ball. Pain lanced through me in half a dozen places, and I dimly felt something warm trickle down the side of my face and into my ear.

There was a sharp crack, then the hiss of pressurized air escaping as the pod opened, the top falling to the side. I tried to focus, but in general I am not at my best when treated like something out of Looney Tunes. I did manage to make out a woman's voice, the words bearing an accent made me think of kangaroos and the Outback. "He's alive, but he's hurt. Grunt, get the next one. Go!"

I blinked as I looked up at her. The woman who knelt over me was beautiful in a way that was hard to exactly describe. Waves of jet-black hair fell around her face in sheets, framing her strong featured face. Her eyes were dark and hard as they met mine in the instant before she wrapped her hand around my wrist and pulled me out of the coffin. My heart sped up, and a small part of my mind decided this was much more dreamlike. I could like this dream. A lot.

Though as she pulled, my legs didn't support me._ What the hell? This is a dream, I can do whatever the hell I want, and I can't stand? _

"Easy, hang on," the raven-haired goddess said as she lowered me to the ground. She was stronger than she looked, and didn't waver at all as she set me back, and I'm not exactly made of feathers. "You're alright, just stay here a second."

"Staying. I can do staying," I managed to mumble. As she turned away, I finally had a moment to try and make some sense of my surroundings. In both directions from where I was sitting, I could make out the shape of more capsules like the the one I was in. I watched as Shark-man tore another pod from wall about ten feet away, and set it down without dropping it like had happened to me. Note to self: do make Shark-man angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

The other direction was more of the same, though I could see the hall open into a much much larger cavern that looked to be completely lined with those pods. I shuddered as the scene registered on my mind. _People in all of those? That's a stadium at least of people. More? I don't …._

"... Hey, come on, look at me. Eyes right here."

My attention snaps back in front of me as as pair of almost fever warm hands cup my jaw, turning me to face someone new. Her red hair was a tangled and matted mess that fell just below her ears. Her eyes were a bright green, but the effect was dimmed by the tired circles under them.

"Are you alright?" she asked in a tone that made me suddenly wonder if that was the first, or even second time she had tried to talk to me.

"Fine. You're fine. I mean, I'm fine," the words tumbled from me. I feel my face crease in a frown. Was I slurring my words?

The worry lines on her face deepened, and she looked around a moment before she brought her attention back to me, biting her lower lip as she continued. "Come on. We can't stay here."

I pushed off the wall as I tried to stand, shaking my head to clear the mental cobwebs. That was a mistake. Pain hit me like a charging Mongolian horde and proceeded to run rampant through my head. I sagged, nearly pulling her down with me.

"Doctor Chakwas! I need you!" Red shouted, her voice ringing. I shut my eyes, pain zipping through again, though to a much lesser degree. Instead of a horde, I had a raiding party. That was progress, I guess.

A moment later I felt someone else's touch. How many people were going to manhandle me in this dream?

"What's wrong with him?" demanded an older woman's voice, the syllables clipped and proper sounding.

"I don't know. He grabbed his head and nearly pulled us both down."

Someone started touching my head, hands run over my scalp, gently searching for damage. Cool fingers found just the spot with a surety of a trained professional.

"He's taken a good knock, and he's probably got a concussion," the older voice said as she withdrew her touch, "He can walk, but he might be unsteady. Can you do it, or should I find someone else to help him?"

"I can get him," the red haired girl answered as she slipped under one of my arms. I tried to focus on her for a moment, needing a reference point. She was thin, but not emaciated. Stress and fear clouded bright green eyes, and tried to hide just how cute she actually was.

"Sudden movements, bad plan" I mumbled, as I tried to kick the mental cobwebs free, this time without sending me to the floor in a heap.

"Probably a good idea not to do that then," Red agreed as she tugged me along. I lost track of things for a moment, pieces of time blurring together like a night of partying, drinking, and other shenanigans. I didn't snap back into focus until Red asked me a question.

"You aren't one of the crew, I mean, I know everyone on the crew, so where are you from?"

I blinked, trying to put the question into focus and finally managed kick out answer from my mothball-ridden brain. "Chicago."

"On Earth? How did you get here? I thought they only had hit colonies."

I frowned. _Colonies? What was she, British from the 17th century?_

"No idea where here is," I managed finally instead, suppressing my inner wise-ass. My words were still slightly slurred and it pissed me off. Anger, however, seemed to have no bearing on my tongue's ability to enunciate. _Stupid body parts rebelling._

"Uh, I think near the Galactic Core, if what we were told before the ship was attacked is right." Red answered, not looking at me. She just kept pulling me forward, in a awkward half walk/half stagger that just barely kept pace with the others in front of us.

_Galactic Core? Did I fall into a freaking Star Wars movie or something? Shark-face doesn't look like a damn wookie._

"Right. Pulling my leg. Have to be pulling …." I felt my throat tighten and my voice trail off as we passed a gap in the wall, showing thousands and _thousands_ more pods.

Not even thousands. Millions.

"My god…."

Red looked over and shivered so violently that it ran through me as well and my arm over her shoulder gripped her tighter, both of us just needing the human contact to feel safe. "Come on. We're falling behind," she managed, and together we hobbled after the other stragglers.

The hesitation saved our lives.

The pair in front of us, two men, screamed in horror as the floor suddenly opened just to one side, and long clawed hands reached out, slashing and grasping. They went down screaming, vanishing from sight. Next to me, Red made a little gasp of horror, and I dimly noted that the next group after them fell under a similar attack.

I looked down at the metal grating we were standing on. The lightweight and very easily shifted metal grating. Sickly looking blue eyes flickered to life and blinked just below us with malevolent intent.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note:<strong> _ _Hope you enjoyed this. This, and all the rest of my stories, are currently on a "as i finish" publishing schedule due to...well, life, and everything that goes with it. Update: This has now been beta'ed and as a result, updated due to, the wonderful efforts of Mizdirected, aka Kim. _


	2. Chapter 2 - Run

Fear can do lots of things. It can make someone freeze, make others flee mindlessly. It can be a motivator, or a hindrance. In those ten seconds, it was the driving force that kept both me, and Red, alive.

As the first of the taloned hands reached through the grating, I slammed my heel down with all the force I could muster. With an audible snap the hand jerked back, and something that sounded like a scream of pain came from below. From a zombie. A zombie with cybernetic eyes and muscles that looked like they had been replaced with synthetic equivalents, but still a zombie.

"I am not going to die in a damn zombie dream." I gasped and staggered into a lurching run, pulling Red with me. She gasped in surprise, but stayed with me and we barrelled past the grating. Behind us, I heard the grating fall away and 'things' surge up from the depths.

I used to run track, and cross country, and I considered myself in fair shape. However, there is a distinct difference between running, and running while concussed, because going in a straight line at full tilt turned out to be way harder than it should have been. Red's breath came in gasps as we ran. My own breathing tightened, and after only a few steps I realized that the fear that settled in my chest had begun to constrict in a familiar way

We shot into the next room even as howls out of nightmare began to sound behind us, screeches that sent my heart hammering in my chest in panic, . Her steps were longer, and more than once I found her pulling at me rather than the other way around as we ran for the next door. The exertion and rising fear made it harder and harder to breathe, but air wouldn't matter if the things behind us caught us. My imagination treated me to a horrific scene of being pulled apart in a haze of dismemberment and blood. Behind us I could hear the scrabbling charge of the freaky tech-zombies.

Don't judge me. What else would you call them? Rogue cybernetic life forms? No. Tech-Zombie. Much easier.

The next door led us to a curved tunnel that slopped up, and my breath came with sharps spikes of pain

We made it through the next pair of double doors at the top, and into the next hall as it leveled out. Behind us, I could hear our screaming pursuers, their cries announcing their continued presence in a way that sent my hindbrain gibbering in panic. I could feel my chest tightening more and more, the weight settling there, constricting and choking.

Training and conditioning can only do so much, when it comes to asthma. Eventually, the disease has its say. I can sprint, or I can run at a reasonable pace for miles. I can't do both simultaneously, and we had been running for a couple of minutes now. My batteries were going to go dead, and soon. Sweat trickled down my face from the exertion, and I looked over at Red. Our eyes met for a panicked half second.

And then I tripped.

The impact was jarring and painful, starting with my arm and elbow as I hit the rock of the floor, going up through my shoulder as the momentum carried me on in a tumble. I rolled, but then everything went white for a moment as the back of my head bounced, just once. I blinked the white away and tried to remember what on Earth I had been running from. What had been the hurry? Why not just lie here and let whatever just take me? That wouldn't hurt as much, right?

I dimly heard Red shouting something that didn't make sense, the words echoing but the meaning stolen.

The world came back into focus and I froze as I gazed up into the mismatched eyes of the damned grim reaper ... or at least, a man who could fill that role. His face was scarred and disfigured and battered, and he looked like he survived just so he could go one more round, get one more scar. Scarred armor covered him, and he had what looked like a pressure bandage wrapped around one thigh. And he held a rifle big enough to be a threat to small aircraft and armored vehicles.

Grim Reaper stepped past me, giving me a single glance that seemed to weigh my worth in a single moment and found me completely beneath his notice. He raised his weapon and took aim down the way we had just come, muttering under his breath the whole way, just low enough I couldn't hear. Red reached me, said something to Grim Reaper. He growled something back but the words just weren't clicking anymore.

Lips moved, but everything echoed, hollow, garbling the meaning . My brain rebooted slowly, and I remembered just what we had been running from.

Oh. Right. Zombies.

Red helped to haul me up, but the world spun again, and I had to lean on her heavily to keep from falling over. My chest hurt and the world had gone from the white agony of pain, to greying around the edges of my vision instead. Thunder sounded behind as Grim Reaper fired and we looked back a moment, and got a good look as the first zombies chest and head exploded, sending its arms bouncing in the corridor and the rest of the torso flopping back like a land bound fish.

Red paled, and I felt sick, and we turned and hurried along as fast as we could, but at this point it felt like my legs were made of lead and each step took a costly expenditure of willpower to keep going.

The tunnel ended in a door that didn't match the surroundings and as we passed through a second doorway, dozens of other voices assaulted us. The tightness in my chest made it hard to focus on anything but the stark difference from rough rock and strange metals to what reminded me of the inside of a submarine or naval ship, with glowing controls.

A short blonde woman bobbed into view, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, a long scrape along her jaw. "Kelly! Where have you…." She trailed off as she looked at me.

Red….no, Kelly, her name was Kelly, gasped. "Jenny, little help."

"Rolston, get over here!" The blonde shouted as she ducked under my other arm. "What's wrong with him….god, his lips are turning blue!"

Shadows continued to eat away at my vision till there was nothing left. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move and it was getting just so hard to be scared of a dream. I just wanted to stop. As the two women lowered me onto something soft and warm, the only thing I could think was that I would finally stop running and rest.

And then someone jabbed me in the shoulder with a needle. I tried to flinch out of reflex, but it was just too much effort. But the pain didn't stop with the needle. Suddenly my entire arm, my neck and my chest burned just under the skin as whatever I had been injected with went to work.

I shrank in on myself, curling up and unable to stop from coughing as I gasped in huge lungsful of air. The burning sensation started to fade after a moment, the fire ants scurrying off to torture someone else.

I blinked several times as my vision started to slowly come back into focus. Kelly stood next to the bed on one side, while on the other side, a maternal woman stared at a display just above my head, her gray hair in disarray and tucked hastily back from her face.

"Heart rate is returning to normal, and his lungs seem to be clearing. I will need to run some tests later, but he should be fine for now," the other woman said, looking over at Kelly. "What happened?"

"I don't know. We were the last ones to get back. I didn't realize he was having problems until he tripped."

"Alright, well, he's stable for now. Keep an eye on him. I suspect he'll have some questions. Did any other colonists make it?"

Kelly's voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't think so. We were the last ones on board. "

The doctor didn't answer after that, just looked down at me then back at Kelly and turned away. I heard a clunk as she busied herself with something on a tray a few feet away. Kelly seemed to deflate a bit as she leaned against the wall, her eyes closing.

I pushed myself carefully up to a sitting position.

It hurt some more, but nothing like right after the injection. My lungs had skipped the normal post-asthma attack recovery time, and I could breath completely normally.

"So, your name is Kelly?" I finally ventured, turning to face her.

Her eyes snapped open, looked a little unfocused for a moment before settling on me. She paused like she needed to gather her thoughts before she finally answered and extended her hand towards me. "Yeoman Kelly Chambers. Its nice to meet you, Mister…"

I felt my face screw up in disgust at the title. "My name is Micah. Mr. Moore would be my father, not me."

A genuine smile cracked her professional exterior a moment. "Alright, it's nice to meet you, Micah. How are you feeling?"

I considered that a moment, letting my bruised excuse for grey matter take it's time cataloging the damage. "Headache, enough bruises for two people, and whatever I got injected with is still burning like hell, but I can breathe so there is that. " I shrugged, and the pain in my shoulder forced me to stop the motion halfway, "And I did something to my shoulder. You?"

"Glad to be alive. Tired, but besides that, I think I'm intact, at least on the outside."

I mentally filed her response away. She wasn't okay, but I didn't want to push. Instead I looked around. "Where are we?" I raised one hand to stop the obvious answer, "I mean, yes, we are in Medical, but where is Medical located?"

"The SSV Normandy, " she said, but didn't elaborate. "I'm not sure how they got it here, but we were on a mission to stop the Collectors. The ones that stuck us in those pods. The ship was attacked, and some of us..." She stopped, shaking her head. "They didn't get the commander, and he must have taken the ship back. I don't know much else."

"Well, does the commander have a name?"

That earned me a classic "are you stupid" look. Or maybe she was trying to decide just how many hits to my head I had taken. "Commander Shepard," she said carefully.

That meant nothing to me, but clearly it was supposed to. "Oh, okay."

Kelly stared me with an intensity that normally reserved for studying complex math or science problems. I looked away.

"So, what happened back there? When we got you down here, you had almost completely stopped breathing."

"I have asthma." I said. I started to shrug out of habit, but halted the motion before it became painful. . "Exercise induced, as well as a few other things. I haven't had a attack that bad in years though. "

That thought, now that I had spoken it aloud, nagged at me. This didn't feel like a dream. This felt way too real. I didn't have time to continue that line of thought though, as a tingling pressure of someone's attention on me drew my attention back to the doctor and Kelly. Kelly's eyes were asking questions that she didn't seem sure how to word. Chakwas, on the other hand, had turned around to face me, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed.

"...what?" I looked between them, "I mean, what did I say?"

"There hasn't been a documented case of asthma in an adult in eighty years," Chakwas said flatly. "Even in the colonies."

"Um, what?" I asked, feeling stupid. "I mean, I don't need an inhaler now, whatever you injected me with worked wonders, but I have asthma. I've always had it."

"Dr. Chakwas, I think he's telling the truth. Or at least what he believes to be the truth," Kelly said carefully. Her tone annoyed me, and I opened my mouth to say something else, but the doctor cut me off.

"Tightness in your chest, lips turning blue, couldn't catch your breath, no matter how fast you were breathing," she rattled off.

I shut my mouth and nodded.

She scowled at at me. "There are several other conditions that mimic asthma symptoms. I gave you a targeted muscle relaxant and bronchodilator, which would relieve a great many of them. But you can not have asthma. It's impossible."

"I've had it since I was, like, four," I said, starting to feel my temper rising as I swung my legs off the side of the bed to face her. "I'm not lying, and the implications that I am are a bit insulting."

I started to say something else, but everything around us shook, and I had to catch myself by grabbing the bedframe and wall to keep from falling. Kelly snaked her arm around something that resembled a construction arm to keep standing, and Dr. Chakwas caught herself on the end of the other bed.

I looked at them both as my pulse jumped. "And that would be..."

A second thump rattled through the ship and this time I sprawled as my grip slipped. The other two didn't fare much better, or so I gathered from the sound coming from where Kelly had been standing. My head throbbed as I pulled myself back up. "Okay, really, what the hell was that?"

On the far side of the room, a panel on the desk lit up and a man's voice spilled out of it. "Doctor Chakwas, we have wounded from the ground team coming in."

Doctor Chakwas pulled herself back to her feet. "Thank you, Joker. How many? "

"Not sure. Thane sounded a bit distracted and I didn't want to play twenty questions when people were shooting at him."

"Alright, thank you." Doctor Chakwas picked up a small medical kit and handed it to Kelly. "Go meet them at the airlock, give this to Mordin if he's not injured himself. I'll stay here and get ready for anything more serious."

She turned to me. "You, just stay out of the way please. We'll talk about your medical history later."

I finished standing and glowered back at her. "Fine."

_I am arguing with a freaking figment of my imagination. This is a freaky real feeling dream, that's all. Just stop it, Micah._

I had started to study the medical equipment around me—deciding I had no idea what any of it was for— when the door to medical hissed open. I turned to look and met the gaze of another alien, the second since the start of this madness.

He was thin, but not weak, like he was made of whipcord and sinew. His green skin looked more like a snake's to me, rough and dry, and his eyes were very large dark things that tracked every movement. He moved with a dancer's grace, light on his feet.

"Doctor Chakwas, Kasumi needs immediate care," he said, his voice humming with a strange harmonic, like a buzzing sound with each word. And then I saw his burden.

She had been burned. Her arm and leg looked red and blistered, her clothing and armor in charred tatters on that side of her body. The wounds oozed and she let out a pathetic whimpering cry as the green skinned alien set her down on the first available bed.

I ducked past him and out of medical, stopping and sliding down the wall not far from the elevator, my breath coming sharp and fast and panicked.

_Horribly burned girl.  
><em>_Freaking Aliens.  
><em>_Tech Zombies.  
><em>_No recorded cases of asthma._

_Where the hell am I?_


	3. Chapter 3 - Illusion

I stared out the window at the stars. No matter what angle I looked at them, they were still there.

Right. This wasn't going to cause me a severe case of psychosis or anything. I took a deep breath, trying to slow my frantically pounding heart, and closed my eyes, and started to force myself through the options.

Which really just condensed down to two things: either this was real, or I was insane.

I didn't feel insane. Then again, what does insanity feel like? There is the classic argument of if you think you are insane, you can't be, because you are still capable of rationalizing it. I couldn't prove that one way or another though.

I wasn't dreaming in the normal sense. This just didn't have the dream like qualities of sleep, and seemed to be going on for far too long to be a dream. It wasn't random enough to be a dream, everything was too consistent.

Which circled back to this all being real. Which was crazy. Really, really crazy.

But … when you eliminate all other possibilities, the only remaining option must be true, no matter how unlikely. Thank you, Holmes.

"It's a beautiful view."

I jerked as her voice ripped me out of my introspection, and my grip on the rail tightened out of sheer reflex before I forced myself to let go.

"Hey, Kelly."

The redhaired yeoman stepped in to view and leaned against the railing next to me, looking out at the stars. Dressed in a clean uniform, showered, and having slept, she looked almost unrecognizable as the woman who had practically carried me from the alien base, "I don't get a chance to just look at them very often. Always something that needs done, some paperwork that needs filed."

"Never enough time to do what you want and what you need to do, I suppose," even as the words left my mouth a twinge of guilt shot through me. I had a lot of things I had left undone for just that reason. "The trick, is figuring out where the balance is."

Kelly turned to head, looking at me in profile. "Fair enough. Speaking of needs though, how are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "Tired. Sore. But okay, I guess."

"No problems with the air?" she pressed, green eyes still on my face. "I mean, the whole breathing bit."

"It's mostly athletically induced. I'm allergic to a few other things too, but something tells me that it's going to be easy to avoid dust in space." I waved a hand at the window in helpless frustration. "Unless I'm insane, and this is a dream.."

"This isn't a hallucination," Kelly said with an emphatic shake of her head. "You aren't crazy."

"I think there are some people who would disagree with you on that specific point." I paused, realizing my error. More guilt shot through me in a little aching spike. "... were some people, I guess really. "

"Well, I will just have to learn for myself then," Kelly said as she pushed off the rail, "so come on. Let's see about finding something to eat, and make some introductions."

My feelings on the matter must have showed on my face, because Kelly took a look at me over one shoulder and tried to hide a laugh as she continued. "Okay, maybe not too many introductions."

The mess stood practically empty when we entered, with a couple of people sitting at one of the table talking quietly. Kelly waved but didn't stop to talk to them as we made our way to the other side of the small room, stopping next to what amounted for the ships kitchen. Kelly swept around to one side, and opened what I assumed was the fridge.

Though for all I knew it was some kind of strange replicator. Star Trek has them, why not here?

"Gardner normally leaves something for the early shifts to find in the morning, though with everything else he might ... nope, here we go," Kelly said, straightening from her search. She set a large sealed container down. "No idea what he made, I kind of didn't eat last night, but it normally isn't too bad."

I eyed it dubiously. It looked like a thick soup. The problem with soup though, is that anything can go in it. And I was in a strange new world. It was probably better to be safe than sorry with anything I'm planning on digesting. "So … uh, what is it?"

Kelly shrugged. "Food? It's Gardner's cooking, it could be pretty much anything. Shepard did spend some extra cash on fresh supplies, but I'm not sure what all they got." She paused, and looked at the sealed container and back at the fridge. "Though, before we eat, it's probably better that we check something."

Before I could voice my question, Kelly tapped a button on the almost-invisible bracelet she was wearing. Orange light sprang up around her hand and forearm and I jerked back out of sheer paranoid reflex. Kelly froze in mid-motion looking nearly as started as I felt.

"Uh, sorry," I muttered, feeling color rise in my cheeks. Jumping at the fancy technological gadgets. Go me.

"You've never seen a omnitool before," Kelly said, more a statement than a question, her lips hiding the beginnings of a smile.

I looked down at her wrist and held up both my hands as my answer.

"We will have to fix that. We use omnitools for almost everything really. I was checking to make sure that we weren't getting into something that was actually for Garrus or Tali. We can't eat the same foods."

"Why? I mean, food is food, right? We might not like the same things but ..." I let myself trail off as I actually thought about that. Lots of animals eat things that people can't. Why wouldn't the same apply to humans and aliens?

"Not if you're a dextro-amino based life form," Kelly said as she closed the door on fridge and turned back to me. "We, you and I, I mean, are levo-amino based lifeforms. Our bodies are composed slightly differently on a molecular level. I'm not precisely sure on the exact differences to be honest, since we all end up as people, but it means that neither of them can eat our rations. Tali can't have anything that isn't kept sterile anyway, but even if she could, she wouldn't be able to eat our food and get anything useful from the experience."

"... right. I should probably just toss out every preconceived notion I've come up with, shouldn't I?"

She just smiled. "Or just understand that you don't know everything and will need a little guidance is all." She flicked her wrist and sent a small sealed package to me from under the counter.

Without even thinking, my hand snapped out and intercepted it.

Her smile widened. "Dr. Chakwas was concerned that if you had been in stasis for a long time, that you might have some other problems. Muscle atrophy was one of her bigger concerns, but whatever they were feeding you on the Collector Base did the job."

"Yes, I was sure to eat all of those Collector Wheaties they gave me." I flipped the package over in my hand, not opening, before I Iooked up at her. "I'm different from the others they took. I mean, you all were looking for them. I have been missing for so long, no one even knew to look anymore. What did they want with me?"

Kelly's smile faded. "We … don't know. It's kind of a mystery, to be honest. The attacks on the colonies were hidden, but they were direct. They didn't hide they were coming, just overran everything with the swarms and picked everyone up after. We … don't know how they got you off Earth. Or even if that's what happened … no offense."

"What do you mean, if that's what happened? I was there, I know where I'm from."

"Unless they messed with your memory somehow," she pointed out, "until we can get back to Council space and— "

A synthetic voice cut her off before she could finish, even as console on the far side of the room sparked to life. I turned to look at it.

"Pardon my interruption, Ms. Chambers, but I believe I have found enough documentation to make a positive ID. Would you like to hear it now?"

"Go ahead, EDI," Kelly said as she walked around the counter and started towards the console. I tagged along after a moment, though the ice in my chest just seemed to get heavier as I did.

"Based on the readings taken by Dr. Chakwas, as well as the stated information from yourself and Mr. Moore's accounts, I think I have found a match. "

The screen flickered, then resolved into a file, a small picture of my face in the corner.

"Micah Moore, age 28, reported missing on August 14th, 2013. He was never found. His car and apartment were found undisturbed and locked. No signs of forced entry. According to the case files, the detectives were unable to locate any leads at all. "

My mouth went dry as a I watched flashes of pictures appear on the screen: my driver's license, terrible haircut and all. Images of the police reports. Flashes of my facebook profile.

"According to the documentation I can access and compare with the information provided, there is a 95% match. There are a few discrepancies from the Medical Scan from Dr. Chakwas, however those could be attributed to your prolonged cryostasis and exposure to Collector technologies."

"What kind of discrepancies?" I managed to croak out finally, unable to take my eyes off the screen.

"Unknown. A more detail medical examination would be required to isolate. However, it appears that you are capable of functioning at a much higher physical condition than the human norm. Based on the known documentation of extended cryosleep patients, your physical condition should be much more severely deteriorated."

I let that soak in a second. "So, short version is I shouldn't be up and walking around, but bedridden till I get my strength back, basically."

"That is correct."

"And ... since I'm not, that's weird."

"Yes."

I just couldn't stop myself as I snapped back, my annoyance sounding sharp to my ears. "I don't know what I'm even talking to exactly, and I am the weird one here?"

The voice in the computer sounded offended. "I am EDI, the Enhanced Defense Intelligence for the _Normandy_. I run the Cyberware Warfare and Counter-Cyber Warfare Suits. Additionally, I am now directly connected to almost all shipboard systems, and am capable of operating almost completely autonomously."

I paused at that and looked at Kelly. "You let me back talk to the ship?"

She shrugged helplessly.

Another voice broke out over the computer, accompanied by a small video feed in one corner of the display, showing the speaker, a average-looking man with a ballcap and t-shirt, his beard trimmed and close shaven. "Don't worry too much. You should hear the grief I tend to give her. Kelly, the Commander wants to talk to you and Dr. Chakwas in Mordin's Lab."

Kelly leaned a little closer to the screen as she answered, "Thanks, Jeff, I'm on my way up." She flicked a button on the console and closed the comm connection, turning away. "No rest for the wicked, apparently."

"Isn't it 'No rest for the weary?'"

Her smile returned for a brief moment before she rounded the corner, leaving me in the mess. "Maybe, but wicked is more fun."

And that left me to my own devices. I stared at the console's little blinking orange lights.

"Right … sooooo ... now what?" The lights just kept blinking, as I thought of the information, my life, spread out in front of me. What had been my life. "Um… EDI?"

"Yes, Mr. Moore."

"Could you bring up the information you just had a minute ago? I … there's some stuff I need to see."

"Of course."

The screen sprang to life again, images flickering to cover the display area. I reached up and touched the hologram, a small tingling resistance pressing back against my finger as I did, and the screen focused on the article I had selected. I leaned in closer, squinting as I started to read. I needed to know what had happened. To my family, to my friends. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone out here.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong>Still with me? Hope so! It's been a little crazy here, not been well so I apologize for this taking as long as it did. Hope you enjoy it though!_

_**Author Note 2:** __(4/5/2014) A massive thank you to Palaven Blues for helping me to clean up this chapter, and the previous two, and for helping me hammer parts of this into more of a story and less of a "I don't have a clue what I'm doing now."_


	4. Chapter 4 - Cold

"Do you need anything else, Mr. Moore?"

Bitter anger poured through me but I attempted to keep the frustration out of my voice. "No, that's all, thank you, EDI."

"Logging you out."

The screen went dark, leaving me with the ice in my chest and my own thoughts. The flash of anger faded to apathy as the ice in my chest went to work and smothered it.

"You look a bit like someone just kicked your puppy. You alright?"

Someday, I vowed, I would stop letting random people sneak up on me. It got a bit old.

_Old, from the guy who's apparently 198 or something. That's just rich. _

The man behind me turned out to be my height with red hair a shade or two darker than Kelly's. What really grabbed my attention was his accent, a thick scottish brogue that made me immediately think of _Braveheart_.

I finally shrugged. "I'm fine. Just having some issues adjusting."

He eyed me, clearly not buying it. "Well, if you're looking for something to do, I could use an extra pair of hands."

"I'm going to be pretty much useless," I warned him. I glanced down and then mentally slapped myself. His left arm was in a sling, and it was strapped to his torso. "... oh, you meant literally."

"Well, I'm still waitin for my extra pair of robotic arms to show up, so you'll have to do," he said, his voice carrying more than a little dry humor in it. "Come on. Won't take too long, unless you feel like sticking around for the company. I promise Gabby doesn't bite, much."

I followed him into the elevator and he punched the controls, sending it down before he offered his good hand. "The name's Kenneth, but call me Ken."

I took his hand and gave it a quick shake. "Micah. "

"You're one of the colonists, right? The one that came in with Chambers?"

I gave him a blank look for a second as I took my hand back. Who was Chambers? It took a bit before the grey matter kicked in and did its job. "Ah, yes and no. Kelly helped drag me in, but I'm not a colonist ... it's complicated."

"Complicated? Are we talking legal complicated or other complicated."

The door dinged and opened, and we stepped out into the hall. " Um, I well, I think I'm officially deceased, so probably both?"

"Ah, that'll do it. You'd think that proving you're alive would be easier than it is."

"I guess I'll find out."

We passed through the double doors and into Engineering, and I got my first look at the fiery heart of the _Normandy_, herpower core_. _It was massive, humming with energy that could be felt in the air. Energy that could apparently fly through space.

_"_Holy …."

Ken grinned at my reaction as I stepped around for a better view. "I take it you've never seen one up close before."

"Most definitely not."

The engineer laughed. "She's a beauty, there's no denying it."

I stared up at it, unable to tear my gaze away. It was awe-inspiring. An enormous sphere of pulsing blue energy, like something you see in a movie, but this was definitely not the big screen. I could reach out and touch this.

And then promptly vanish as I am reduced to ash, probably.

I peeled my gaze away and turned back to Ken. "You didn't ask me to come down to stare at your shiny magic sphere. What do you need me to do?"

Ken waved me over next to the console he was at. "Here. I need to get into the vent down here and check the power relay two sections over, but I can't get this open. And once I'm in there, I'll need you to pass me tools, and maybe run and get some things, depending on how bad it is. I'm not sure how much work it will be until I'm inside."

I eyed the vent. It looked like someone had run over it with a car, then jammed it back into the wall. "I might need a crowbar or something. That looks a bit mangled."

Ken just stared at me blankly. I stared back. "... Never mind."

The vent's cover proved to be well and truly stuck. After several seconds the corner finally popped free and then proceeded to drop me on my ass. I swore under my breath as I glared at the vent.

"What the hell happened to this thing?"

"According to Joker, one of Collectors noticed him in the vent and tried to get to him before him and EDI flushed them all into space. Kicked it up good, but couldn't get it open fast enough to get to him."

I eyed it suspiciously, mentally transposing myself in its place and how well I would stand up to getting kicked liked that. Not well. I braced myself and pulled at the grate again, and was pleased as it finally came free. "There you go. Now wh—" I stopped mid-sentence as I noticed that we were no longer alone. A absolutely furious woman glared at the back of Ken's head like she meant to drill through it with her eyes.

"Kenneth! What are you doing down here? I thought Dr. Chakwas said you were supposed to be resting."

We both jumped at the sharp tone of the woman's voice. Ken's face took on a chastised expression, and he turned around to face his accuser.

"Ah, Gabby, you know I can't just sit still! I need to be doing something!"

The shorter brown haired Gabby planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. "You are supposed to be resting. And you can't be planning on crawling around with your hand like that! Are you insane? And how did …." She paused mid-tirade as her gaze flicked to me.

"Um, hi?" I offered, keeping my tone mellow and not rising from where I sat next to the vent. "It's nice to meet you?"

Gabby jumped and seemed to mentally backpedal for a moment, clearly having missed my presence to her tirade, her face starting to heat up. "I'm … sorry. I didn't see you there."

"I'm sneaky like that," I offered. I looked between the two of them. "Um, should I be going now? I mean I don't want to be in the way."

The two engineers answered simultaneously, Kenneth's almost frantic "No" nearly overriding Gabby's "Yes, please."

"Right. I'll … go stand over there till you two decide what the plan is."

Before Ken could stop me, I ducked past him and through the first pair of doors out of engineering. I got a glimpse of his silent plea to stay before the door shut. I let myself slump against the wall as I heard Gabby's voice raise again, and my mind wandered unbidden back to what EDI had shown me.

_Mark Moore. Brother. Deceased January 3rd, 2014. Car Accident_

_April Moore. Sister in Law. Deceased June 2014. Home Invasion._

_James Moore. Father. Deceased March 2015. Work Accident_

_David Batt. 1st Cousin. Deceased December 2014. Work Accident. _

The list went on my head, the images burned into my memory. Every member of my family was gone, and had left no descendants. I wasn't just dead. I had been erased. Anyone who might have recognized my name, any connection with the world I had known, was gone.

"Those two need to just fuck and get it over with."

"Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed. "Am I just asleep on my feet, or is everyone on this stupid ship a damn ninja."

I spun to face the new voice. Her lip had curled into an amused smile, but my attention ended up focused instead on the astounding number of tattoos that covered her arms, shoulders, down her torso in a colorful and myriad whirl. The tattoos covered her more fully than the clothes she wore, and she didn't seem to be bothered by the fact at all. On a normal day, I would have found it hard not to stare.

Right now, I was just too tired though. I looked away and back at the door, and the muffled conversation on the other side. "Take it they have history?"

"I'd say. He just needs to man up and say something to her. Or she does. I don't give a shit either way, as long as one of them makes a move soon, before I space them both for some peace and quiet." She leaned against the rail of the walkway and looked me up and down. "Who are you? You aren't anyone I've seen around here before."

I let out a humorless laugh as I thought of the list again. "I'm no one. Not anymore."

Her expression hardened and anything that might have been pity left her so fast it might as well have not been there. "Oh, fuck you. Everyone has some sad sap story."

"And I never said you should care, either." I snapped and started to walk past her, heading back toward the elevator.

She reached out and shoved me, hard enough to stop me cold. "I didn't say this conversation was over. Who are you?"

The cold seeped into me again and, even to me, my voice seemed flat and expressionless. I didn't meet her eyes, gazing over her shoulder at the door, into empty space. "My name is Micah, and I'm a dead man. "

That reaction seemed to take her aback and she dropped her hand, letting me pass her. I took two steps and touched the controls to open the door.

And nearly collided with Kelly.

"Oh! I was just coming to find you ..." Kelly trailed off, and looked between me and the tattooed woman. "Jack?"

"He's all yours, whoever the fuck he is. He's got more issues than me." Jack muttered as she started down the stairs to the level below, stomping as she went.

I slipped away from Kelly, leaving the hallway and trying to flee from the flood of cold anger that jolted into me. I heard Kelly say something to Jack, and the tattooed woman say something back, but the only thing that I really heard was the thumping in my own ears.

I was alone. My family was gone. My friends were gone. I was a ghost of a time that no one would even care to remember, let alone miss.

I could feel the asthma attack start and leaned against the railing, my knuckles tightening till they turned white as I forced myself to breath slowly, the exercise that had been drilled into me slowly taking the edge off before it could get worse. In and out. Breathe in the through the nose, and out through the mouth.

"Are you alright?" Kelly's hand on my arm was gentle and warm, a alien sensation compared to the numbness I felt.

"I'm fine."

"Not according to EDI … or Jack, for that matter."

"Something tells me that the Artificial Intelligence shouldn't be allowed to monitor my state of mind."

"Maybe not, but she can monitor your stress levels based on your heart rate. Your readings spiked so high a minute ago she notified Dr. Chakwas, me, and Commander Shepard."

I didn't bother responding to that. What could I say, the computer was wrong?

"Look, let's just, go sit somewhere. You can explain what happened, alright?"

Cold turned hot in my mind and I whipped around to face her.

"What happened? I'm on a ship in space. I was frozen for close to two-hundred years. Everyone I ever knew is dead. Everyone that ever knew about me, is dead. I'm a ghost, just waiting for something to kick me over to oblivion, or whatever the fuck is waiting for me. That's what happened."

A little part of my mind knew that it wasn't fair, even as I uttered the words, but the cold rage in me screamed for release, and I couldn't deny it. I was alone in a way I had never even considered before. I don't do well being alone.

Kelly's expression turned startled, her mouth dropping open and her eyes going a bit wide as she took a step back.

I stepped into the gap, my pulse hammering in my ears.

"Every member of my family is gone. Dead, every single one. Every person I was ever related to, died and not a single person is left that will even remember who I am, no, who I was. I have been erased!"

I stopped shouting, my anger spent in the brief loss of control, and looked around.

I had caused a scene.

Behind Kelly, the door had opened to Ken and Gabby, who stared in surprise from the other end of the hall. Jack had come back up the stairs enough to see what the commotion was about. To my left, a door had opened to reveal the scaley, wide eyed alien who I had seen in medical, watching with an unreadable expression. To my right, the grizzled and scarred soldier who had covered Kelly and my run to the ship had his thumb tucked into his belt next to the gun on his hip.

And they were all staring at me. Some with sympathy, some just evaluating, but the collective weight of their attention settled on me, watching. My anger flickered under their regard, and died, sending me falling back into the cold and despair.

I turned, shutting them all away as I reached the elevator and the door sealed me in. My hands shook as it carried me up, and I could just stare at them. This was the world I was stuck with. I had to accept it.

The question was, how?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong>Hope you all are continuing to enjoy this! I have to admit, this chapter went considerably different than i originally planned, as I had intended to introduce Tali and some of the other non-human crew to our intrepid hero. Just didn't evolve that way this chapter, but I promise it will be coming soon. The question is, who first XD _


	5. Chapter 5 - Apologies

If you think about it, space isn't so much cold as it is devoid of warmth, devoid of light. For every star in the universe, for every brilliant point of energy, there are leagues and swaths of pure darkness.

As I stood staring out of the lounge window, it wasn't the fiery beauty and grace of starlight I saw. I was gazing into the abyss, and I didn't see a reason why I shouldn't.

Not the healthiest mindset, that. I wasn't exactly sure how long I had been here, but it was better than trying to confront rest of what was going through my head. I shoved the little voice of guilt to away; I'd deal with it later.

Behind me, the door hissed open to admit someone, but I didn't make the effort to turn to look and see who it was. It wouldn't be anyone looking for me.

"For someone who apparently doesn't have anywhere to go, you sure know how to drive off the one person who really took an interest in your welfare."

The sharp snap of anger in her voice felt like a physical slap, and dragged my attention away from the window and the pull it exuded.

She was the woman who had been carried into Medical just after I had come onboard, burned and only half conscious. Her tattered armor had been replaced with a pair of black sweatpants and tanktop, which prominently displayed an arm still wrapped in bandages, tucked against her side by a sling. They wrapped her hand and continued up over her shoulder to her neck. Her near jet black hair fell over one shoulder in a loose ponytail and her dark, slightly canted eyes were hard as she stared at me. I started to say something unwise, but her hand shot up, palm out as she cut me off.

"You've got a lot of nerve." The chill in Kasumi's voice froze my feet to the floor. "Kelly is a sweetheart. I don't care how upset you are, she didn't deserve that kind of attitude from you. And she has been nothing but kind and helpful," she snapped, taking a step forward, "She spent so much of her time the last several weeks worrying about everyone else without a thought for herself. She spent all that time making sure that everyone else was okay, that we could all function together.

"Then Collectors attacked the _Normandy_. She and almost everyone else were dragged off the ship and stuffed into those coffins. And do you know what those things were for? They were designed to melt you down." She stepped forward again and punctuated her words by jabbing me in the the chest with her uninjured hand, "and she had to sit there and wait knowing that this is what they planned to do to her. How well do you think she's been doing with that, hmm?"

I flinched at the verbal assault as much, or even more, than from getting jabbed in the chest.

"I didn't kno—"

"If you weren't so self-absorbed then maybe you would have, " she said, cutting me off and pointing toward the door. "Maybe you should go work on that. Now."

I seized the remains of my ego and fled. I hadn't known what those pods had been intended for. The very idea that they were designed as some kind of mass extermination—and I had escaped it by dumb luck—set goosebumps down my arms.

But the real boat anchor to my mood? Kasumi had been right. I hadn't thought about anyone but myself. And then, I had lashed out at the only person who had consistently been interested in my well being.

_I'm an asshole. God, damn it._

Guilt assailed the ice walls that had formed around my emotions, stormed the castle, and seized it for the good of the realm. pressed my back to the wall and slid down it, and let that little voice in back of my mind finally have it's say.

_You took it out on Kelly because you are hurting. That is no excuse for it, and you know it. You've done this before, and it's screwed up friendships before. You don't have the option to push people away right now, so damn well suck it up._

I turned and moved to the nearest unoccupied console, doing my best to avoid eye contact with two crew members I passed.

"EDI, could you please tell me where I could find Kelly Chambers?"

A ball of blue light flickered into existence in front of me as the ship A.I. answered, "Yeoman Chambers is currently conversing in the CIC with Mr. Moreau. Should I notify her you wish to speak with her?"

"I think a better word would be grovel, actually," I said, rubbing my face with one hand. The prickle of stubble rasped against my palm. "And … and no. Please don't."

"Logging you out."

The elevator took on the feeling of being locked in a metal cage as it rose to the _Normandy_'s command deck, and I did my best to not fidget as I waited for the doors to open. My nerves only got worse as the door opened to the CIC and nearly a dozen eyes sighted in on me with varying degrees of intensity, and none of them particularly friendly. My palms started to sweat and the urge to slam the "Close Door" button was nearly overwhelming.

"Good job breaking it," I muttered to myself as I stepped out of the elevator before I could change my mind. Conversations stopped entirely as I passed by, and only added to my already staggeringly frayed nerves as the heat from their gazes burned into my back.

As I entered the cockpit, the chair at the helm slowly rotated to face me. The pilot looked up at me from his seat, his fingers actually steepled and his face calm and blank as he spoke. "Please, commence your grovelling at any time. Don't wait on my account."

I felt cheeks and ears go scarlet with humiliation at his words. Not that I didn't deserve it, but this was already hard enough. I looked away from him, and to the reason I had come up here in the first place. Kelly leaned against one of the consoles, her own face an equally unreadable mask, her arms around her middle.

"Are you planning on shouting at me again?" Her voice sounded flat, expressionless. She didn't sound angry, just tired, and it stung me.

For a moment, I almost ran. I could feel the urge to bolt well up in me, the need to escape, the need to get away from the stress. It was an itch that I wanted so badly to scratch.

But that would be a temporary fix on the larger problem, and considering everything, I owed her better than that.

I looked away from her as I started to speak, "No, I'm not. You saved my life. And I was so centered on what was going on in my head, that I didn't consider what was going on around me. What was going on with you, and with everyone else on the _Normandy_. And it took someone else calling me out for me to stop and think."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you. You've been nothing but kind, and a better friend than I deserved, if I can call you that." I finally looked back up at her, daring to meet her gaze for a moment.

It felt like a very, very long moment to me. She turned to the pilot, still sitting in his James Bond villain pose, "What do you think, Jeff?"

He drummed his fingers together. "I've seen better groveling. But I suppose I've also seen worse, too."

The corner of her mouth twitched into the barest hint of a smile as Kelly pushed away from the chair. "I guess we'll let it pass this time, then. Come on. Let's see if we can find you something a bit nicer for the ceremony."

"I ... okay." I had no clue what ceremony she was referring to, but I wasn't going to argue as I felt the tension drain out of me slowly. A thought stopped me though, and I turned back to face the helm, and more specifically, the console.

"Um, EDI?"

"Yes, Mr. Moore?" A blue ball of light flashed into existence to my right.

"I thought you said you wouldn't tell them I was coming up."

The ball of light flickered a moment. "In fact, I followed your instructions precisely. I did not inform Yeoman Chambers. That did not preclude me from informing Jeff of your impending arrival and intended topic of discussion."

The damn AI sounded far too innocent.

A trickle of laughter escaped behind me, and I turned back to find Kelly with one hand over her mouth. Joker grinned like that cat who ate the canary, and patted the pilot's chair. "That's my girl."

* * *

><p>I found myself hiding near the back of the crowd as the crew of the <em>Normandy<em> gathered to say goodbye to one of their own. As I looked at the faces gathering around me, the reactions I had been met with started to make sense. I was not on a ship with a crew and a captain.

I was a guest in these people's home, where the computer was a part of the crew, and the crew had bonded like a family. They might fight, argue, and disagree, but when the chips were down, and it really mattered, they were there.

It was a very lonely sensation. I might be on this ship, but I wasn't one of them. For a second, I desperately missed my friends, my family, the people who I had known and cared about. People that I only I remembered now

The majority of the people around me were human, and I drifted slowly towards a few of the faces I recognized, and examined the people around me.

They were an odd mix. Some young, some older, and from what I could tell, from all walks of life. The alien crew members accented this in their diversity. I finally got a chance to see them all in one place, and my curiosity wasn't disappointed. They were a varied lot of individuals, from the huge form of Shark-face to the slim short build of the of a woman in a purple cowl and space suit.

The room started to still as two individuals made their way to the front of the room. One I recognized as the first woman I had met up waking up, Miranda. She halted next to the small dais, while the man—wearing a formal military uniform complete with rank insignia and medals—continued up to the coffin. He put one hand on the lid and bowed his head a moment before he turned to face the rest of us.

It was the first time I got a good look at Commander John Shepard. I had heard his voice for a moment at the base, but the few glimpses of him that I had seen had been of an armored soldier, his face hidden behind the helm.

A network of nearly invisible, thin white scars ran along one side of his face, like he had been pressed into something hot at some point. His hair was cut military short, and his dark eyes looked tired and worn.

Looking at him, he reminded me of Atlas, with the world on his shoulders.

He straightened and let his hand drop away from the coffin, clasping his hands behind him. "Samara was a Justicar, a living embodiment of the implacable principles of her Code. She once told me that she knew what her fate was. She said that she would struggle and fight all her life. And that when she died, she knew it would not be in the comfort of a bed. She was at peace with that fact. When I came to each of you, I told you that this could very well be a one-way trip. That we were going to take on odds that were so far against us, it was probably ludicrous. And each of you still signed on, and stuck with it, despite the risks."

He swept his gaze first over the non-human members of his team, then to the rank and file members of the _Normandy_. Next to me, Jenny Goldstein, the woman who had helped Kelly get me to Medical, came to attention. And she was far from alone.

"You signed on before we even know who or what we were fighting. You had no clue where this mission would take you. You took that step into the unknown, armed only with the knowledge that there were others in danger, and you could do something about it."

That was the point when it really hit me. John Shepard was a leader with a capital L. The kind of man who didn't just order his troops to attack, but charged right along beside them. I didn't know anything about him, but listening to him speak about a woman I didn't know at all sent chills down my spine. The sense of pride and of loss was nearly overwhelming. Kelly wiped one eye with her sleeve, and Ken put his good arm around Gabby's shoulders.

John looked back at the coffin, his words drawing everyone's gaze down to it. "Samara seemed distant to many, but in truth, you all touched her with your devotion to this mission. She believed in what we were doing, just like you did, and while she never could express it as openly, she felt a bond to us. And in the end, she gave her life for us. Samara embodied the best of us. And she will be missed."

His words echoed through the cargo hold as he turned to face the coffin, and judging by the look on everyone's faces, they'd be echoing in people's memories, too. He brought his arm up in a stiff formal salute, respect clear and tangible as he held it for several long moments. Commander Shepard finally let his hand drop, and everyone started to exit slowly. Murmurs drifted through the room as people made their way to the elevator, talking quietly and consoling each other over the loss of a friend. I stepped back, intending to get out of the way of the others exiting.

And promptly bumped into someone. Apparently I am just not allowed to be anything even remotely close to graceful.

"Sorry, I'm failing at everything lately," I manage to mumble out as I turned to figure out who I had stepped all over.

Goldstein rubbed at her tear-streaked face with both hands as she started to laugh softly. "You really seem to have a knack for stepping on people's toes around here, that's for sure."

"It's kind of like having a superpower."

"... that would be a really crappy superpower," she said, still laughing as she offered her hand. "And apology accepted. I'm Jenny. We've met, but things were a little stressful."

"And I was a bit out of it, but I remember." I said as I gave her hand a small shake, "I'm Micah. And you would be, I think, the fifth person on this ship who I've actually had a conversation with."

"_Normandy_ took a beating to get to the Collector base … we've been busy. And you haven't exactly gone looking to talk to people," she said as she shrugged. She rubbed at her eyes again, drying the last of her tears. "God, I said I wasn't going to cry."

"At a funeral, it's kind of expected, for the most part," I said as I looked back at the coffin, and the small cluster of people who had remained.

All the non-human members were still there, clustered around Kasumi, Jack, and Shepard; with the additions of the scarred-face soldier, a dark-skinned man that I hadn't seen before, and the woman who seemed to be the second-in-command.

Jenny followed my stare across the room. "Come on. Let's give them some space."

As we entered the elevator, a cold chill ran through my body, like someone had just walked across my grave. Just out of sheer paranoia, I looked around the room, hesitating in the door a second.

Kasumi and Shepard were staring at me as they spoke to each other. The cold presence of being watched didn't vanish till the doors closed. I shivered again.

"I think maybe you have some more apologies to make," Jenny said quietly as the box began to rise.

I looked at the door, and thought about the flat look I had just received, "I think you might be right."

* * *

><p><em><strong><em><strong>Author Note:<strong>_**___ Thanks everyone for reading! I have to admit, This started as a silly pet project for when felt like doing something, and it's kind of taken on a life of it's own. I hope I can keep you all as entertained. I'll keep them coming as I can get them done, but I've also somewhat decided that April is going to be "go back and fix all the things" month, and use it to correct and redo some earlier works a bit, and give them some TLC. Or that is the plan. We shall see if I can STICK to that.__

__Anyway, thanks for reading!__

__**A/N 2:** Soooo, shout out to Mizdirected for once again, helping me keep from being too much of a idiot and correcting me on my failure to speech tag correctly, among other things. The above chapter has been edited and corrected based on her help, and I can not thank her enough for all the hard work and helps she puts out to both myself and a number of other people. She's awesome, plain and simple.____  
><em>_

**_A/N 3:_**_So, this chapter has been a thing. Massive thanks also need to go out to palaven blues as well, for helping me fix this chapter up even more. This was a lot more of a mess than I originally thought ._


	6. Chapter 6 - Analysis

Jenny stayed quiet for a moment before she finally broke the silence. "So … I have to ask, do you remember anything? From before they found you at the base?"

"Not really, no. I went to sleep in my bed, and woke up there." I shrugged as I looked at the door, still feeling Kasumi's and Shepard's stares. "I don't remember anything."

But as I said it, I wasn't so sure. Fragments of memories on the edges of my perception poked at me. Half-formed dreams that I didn't remember having.

My uncertainty must have been evident, because Jenny frowned at me, and started to say something else when the door chimed opened.

"What do you mean, 'his vitals are returning to normal?'" Doctor Chakwas demanded, glaring down at her omnitool, turning just as the door opened. She turned to face us, looking a little wild eyed.

EDI's synthetic voice popped up from the omnitool's orange light. "Blood pressure is dropping, heart rate has decreased by 36% and is returning to normal sinus rhythm. He appears to have normalized."

"Doctor? What's going on?" Jenny asked, glancing between us.

"I don't know. EDI?" Doctor Chakwas asked, "could it have been a glitch?"

"Negative. All sensors report operational. Additionally, the readings they are receiving correspond within .02% of all data from your medical omnitool."

The doctor looked at me, studying my features and glancing down at the omnitool. "And do _you_ feel fine? "

"That depends on why you are looking me at me like that," I hedged, side stepping away. "Why?"

"I'm looking at you this way because EDI's sensors predicted you were about to suffer a heart attack."

_Oh. Well, crap._

* * *

><p>"If you are concerned about my heart, please tell me, what on Earth could possibly be in my eye that would be a factor?" I demanded as Dr. Chakwas flicked the searing beacon she called a penlight from one of my eyes to the other.<p>

"Between the two of us, who here has a medical degree?" she answered calmly as she clicked the light off, tapped her omnitool and entered something into what I morbidly decided would end up being my dissection notes.

"You realize that this is kind of like living in a nightmare, right? Abducted and experimented on?"

Dr. Chakwas turned back to her computer, touching the holographic console with her omnitool. "I shall do my best to keep the probing to a minimum."

Even frustrated and stressed to the max, I couldn't help but let out of bark of laughter at that

A thin smile touched on her features and she glanced back for a moment. "Ah, he does have a sense of humor somewhere in there."

For the first time since walking into Medical, let myself relax some. "It's just a little crusty from lack of use. Little rust, and what not. So what exactly are you doing?"

"Creating a patient file for you. I've already taken some preliminary scans to be a baseline. This way we can track any kind of conditions that might develop over time. Each time you come in, it will update the records with the most recent scan and compare it to the previous ones," she said as she took her hand away from the computer and turned back to me. "Normally, this is done for children, but you are a bit of a special case."

"Yeah, back in my day we didn't have these new-fangled scans, " I drawled, and kicked my feet back and forth on the bed a bit. "So, now what?"

"Now we take a blood sample and run a few more specific tests. Assuming that it's not something else masquerading as asthma, I will need to narrow down the specific genetic markers causing your symptoms. Once I've done that, we should be able to cure that particular malady."

"Ah, sorry, I don't know what kind …."

_Wait, did she say cure?_

My thoughts hurtled out in a thousand different directions. I had been told I would probably fight with this my whole life. I have never, ever, let myself hope I would be free of it. When I tried to speak, it came out a whisper, "Dr. Chakwas, are you telling me that you can cure my asthma?"

The seriousness of my question seemed to bring her up short, and she smoothed her uniform. "Assuming no complications … yes. The procedure is a relatively simple gene therapy that I can perform here aboard the _Normandy. _ It might take a few weeks to properly complete … but yes. "

It wasn't worth waking up alone. It wasn't worth finding out the world and life I knew had vanished into the annals of time. But maybe something good could come out of this all. "Thank you, doctor. Just tell me what you need me to do."

Two hours, two blood tests, and twelve scans later, I decided that Dr. Chakwas could probably clone me if the need ever came up.

Do they even having cloning in the future?

I sat up as Dr. Chakwas slid the full body scanner back against the wall.

"That should do it, for the most part. I'll need a little time to go over the data, but I should be able to start the therapy in a day or two," she said, tapping the omnitool to presumably save the data.

"I'll be around, obviously. Wouldn't miss this chance for anything."

The door to Medical opened and admitted the third non-human member of the crew I would meet. Chakwas turned to him, her face lighting up a bit. "Ah, Mordin. I loaded finished loading his patient file to the computers, you should be able to examine them at your leisure."

My blood ran cold for a moment at those words, even as I looked over the very alien Mordin. His warm orange skin made the transition to his white labcoat even more drastic on his tall and thin frame. Very large oval eyes scanned the room, before settling on me, blinking once.

I did a double take. Had he just blinked _upward_?

"Um … hi?" I offered weakly as I tried to rein in everything that had blitzed through my brain about being examined by an alien. It didn't help my peace of mind that Mordin shared a remarkable resemblance to the classic little grey man. Dr. Chakwas joke about probing to a minimum suddenly seemed less amusing. "Why the second opinion?"

"Mordin is a expert geneticist and a brilliant scientific mind. If anyone can determine why you were taken by the Collectors or what they might have done to you, he can. " She turned and said something in a language I didn't understand to Mordin.

I had been trying to ignore that particular possibility. The idea they had screwed with me didn't sit well, making my empty stomach boil.

I listened to the two of them go back and forth in a language that seemed frustratingly familiar. It sounded like gibberish, fake words and sounds mashed together like a baby would use. And yet, it tugged at my memory insistent and irritating.

After several minutes Mordin bobbed his head to Chakwas, repeated the motion to me, and turned to go.

"Um, bye I guess," I said to his retreating form as the door closed, then turned my attention to Chakwas. "Soooo, what did he say?"

She looked surprised at the question. "Weren't you listening?"

"I don't exactly speak little grey man," I deadpanned.

"Your omnitool should have translated—"

She stopped as I raised my wrist and waved it back and forth, a little wry smile coming across her features. "My apologies. It's something we normally take for granted. I'll make sure someone brings you one. A lot of individuals only speak their own language and Tradespeak. The translation software on an omnitool gets around that problem, for the most part."

"Makes sense." I shrug, not really interested in how it worked, as much as fact it would solve my communication problems. "So. Blood tests. Scans. Anything else I need to do or not do?"

"Two things. First, based on these results, you would normally wear glasses or contacts, I take it." Chakwas stated as she started tapped on her omnitool.

"Yeah, glasses. I'm nearsighted."

"I'd also guess little bit of night blindness as well, based on these results. Lights seem to flare sometimes?"

I nodded. "Worse when I am tired, normally."

"We can see about corrective surgery later, since I am not as comfortable performing something that delicate as I would like. However, I should be able to produce something in a day or two that you can use. Until then unfortunately you will just have to make due, I'm afraid." She tapped on her omnitool. "The other thing I want you to do, is go down to the cargo bay and find Jacob. I asked him to give you a stress test, so to speak. Running, physical conditioning, etc."

I sighed. "Oh, goody. Though nothing I haven't done before. Cargo bay?"

Chakwas nodded. "He should be waiting on you."

"In that case, I'm off to see the wizard."

* * *

><p>"Definitely not … in Kansas," I gasped as stood with my hands on my knees, panting for air. Chakwas came down after about fifteen minutes into my "stress test" with Jacob Taylor, and had dosed me with something to prevent my asthma from flaring. I think I almost would have preferred the asthma attack at this point.<p>

I tried to wipe the sweat from my face, but my shirt was so wet it didn't help other than to just get it out of my eyes. I looked up to my instructor/torturer.

"You're getting slower, not faster," he said as he tapped on his omnitool.

The little part of me that used to be hope died a little more at that, and I pushed myself back up. "Again?"

"Naw, though Shepard did want me to add a few things before I released you." Jacob started to walk towards a couple of crates that had been set up against the wall.

"Sure, whatever," I said, and pushed myself back straight up. Every muscle I knew of and about thirty I didn't realize I had protested the motion, aching as I tried to stretch. "What do you need me to do now?"

We passed by a couple of the crew, including Jenny, who were in the middle of something that looked like hand-to-hand practice. I didn't get a chance to watch for more than a moment though.

"Target practice first," Jacob said simply, and handed me a pistol unlike anything I'd ever handled. "Ever shot a gun before?"

I turned it over in my hand, looking at it. "A gun, yes. This isn't a gun. This is the bastard offspring of a phaser and a SIG."

Jacob raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

I sighed as once again the knowledge I was no longer in the world I knew slapped me in the face. "Right. I'm so old that you don't get my Star Trek reference. Can I use this to put me out of my misery?"

"Not right now. It's just got practice rounds in it, so it would hurt like hell and leave a nice bruise, but that's about it. So lets start with hitting a target," Jacob said as he pointed.

I squinted down the makeshift range at the two circular holograms,and the back down at the gun in my hand. The mechanics were the same. Sights. Safety. Barrel. The core pieces were there, just with some added doohickies and gizmos. I thumbed the safety off—which made the gun emit a small chirping sound—and stepped up to the line. I took a second to steady my hands, sighted down the weapon and centered the crosshairs on the target. As I squeezed the trigger, I mentally braced for the sound.

I did not get the thundercrack I expected. Instead, it sounded like a silenced pistol in a movie. Still loud, but nothing like I was used to when I had gone to the range with Dale and Pat.

That had been a good day.

"Not terrible. Give it a few more," Jacob encouraged from over my shoulder, his arms crossed as he leaned against a crate.

I sighted back down, and drew in a breath, and let it out as I pulled the trigger again. I repeated that process six times and squinted as I tried to make out the results. Just barely able to distinguish a handful of hits in a corner. But definately not seven, I decided with a sigh as I lowered the gun.

"Consistent. If you can learn to adjust your aim, you'd be a decent shot, I think. Where'd you learn?"

"Two friends at a range, and a little brother who liked to shoot clay pigeons," I said and passed the pistol back to him. "Now what?"

"Ever had any hand-to-hand training?" Jacob asked as he holstered the gun.

"Unless you count having a little brother, no." I said with a shake of my head. I stopped, looking at him. "Why? Is someone else planning on abducting me and sticking me in stasis again?"

"Naw, man," Jacob said as he shook his head. "But Shepard asked me to check. And we tend to run towards trouble, not away, so until we drop you off, it's probably just a safety thing."

"Well, this is me hoping that I don't have to practice my marathon skills again." I looked over watching the four crewmen still doing their drills. "Anything else?"

"Nope, I think that will do it. I'll send this up to the doctor. Oh, and here, Kelly dropped this off for you." He passed me one of the nearly clear wristbands that served as the base of the omnitools that everyone and their mother seemed to have. "She said she set up the basics, and to ask if you have any questions."

"Thanks." I looked it over a moment before clicking it onto my wrist, and powering it on. I tried not to flinch as the holographic screen just materialized around my wrist and forearm. I looked back up at Jacob. "I guess I'll go play with my new toy for a while, if we're done?"

"Sounds good. If anyone needs you, EDI will probably page you through that."

"Okay, thanks," I said as I started to wander over to an open spot out of the way, and sat down on the floor.

First space age survival skill to master: Figure out how to use the phone.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note:<strong> __ Yay to Palaven Blues for battering through my horrendous grammar, punctuation, and spelling. She is amazing. GO READ HER STUFF RIGHT NOW, GOD DAMN IT NOW._

_Notes also need to go out to Amiee and Mizdirected for their continued support and suggestions this story, as well as all my others. _


	7. Chapter 7 - Evaluation

I scowled down at the entirely too cheerful orange glow emanating from my arm as I sat on the cargo bay floor. "You and I are going to have a love-hate relationship, I think."

Several voices came closer as they moved toward the elevator. The workout had broken up, apparently. I glanced up at them before turning my attention back to the omnitool, muttering to myself as I accidently closed the window I wanted open.

Someone lightly kicked the bottom of my shoe. I glanced up to find Jenny grinning down at me, her hands on her hips. "Talking to your omnitool already? How long have you had it, an hour or two?"

"Maybe?" I asked as I looked back down at the clock in the corner of the screen. "Or rather, apparently." I punched the close button and the holographic fields faded. "This is worse than trying to learn how to use a Mac."

Jenny gave me a blank look.

"A Mac Computer? You know, little apple icon with a bite taken out of the side? IPod, iPad, iPhone?" I tried again.

She just shook her head and started to laugh. "Sorry, not ringing any bells here."

I groaned and leaned my head back against the crate behind me. "I make reference of everything, and no one is going to get any of them. I made a Star Trek reference earlier and Jacob just looked at me like I was insane."

Jenny grinned. "Well, it's Jacob, so I'm not surprised." She waved at the her sparring partner as he got on the elevator. "Have you eaten yet?"

Before I could respond, a shrill beeping screamed at me from my wrist, and I jerked, thrusting my hand with the omnitool as far from me as I could get it. "Jesus Christ … what?"

The beeping continued incessantly, and Jenny covered her mouth, hiding the smile. I jabbed at it as I felt my face heat up. The damn thing was a space phone, why was this so hard?

I finally managed to punch in the correct controls, and the beep ceased. The screen flashed to life and resolved into an image of Kelly. She a little closer over her console.

"Hey, meet me upstairs in the mess. Miranda wants to talk to us." She paused, leaning a little closer to the screen. "And why are you blushing?"

I felt my face warm again. "I had some technical difficulties."

"Don't worry about it. You have a lot of catching up to do, and I can help you later if you want. Though we better not keep Miranda waiting." Kelly looked up as someone called her name, before she looked back down at the screen. "I"ll see you upstairs in a few."

"Alright, be there in a minute," I said, as she closed the connection. I tapped the omnitool off on my end and looked up at Jenny. "No, I haven't yet, but I think I'll have to pass for now."

"Well, if you make it out of there, you should come join us," Jenny said as she started toward the elevator.

I pushed myself up with the dull ache of complaining muscles. "I'd ask what you mean, but right now, I'm more concerned about just making it up there."

* * *

><p>The elevator doors dinged open on Deck Three and I pushed off the back wall for that little extra momentum to get my tired body moving. I couldn't remember the last time I had been this tired. Second year of college maybe?<p>

Thoughts of college brought other memories. Stephanie, Natasha, Adam and me, playing Magic in the basement of the dorm. Two a.m. food runs to Wal-mart. Three hour drives to see ...

The pang of sharp loss jabbed through me like I had actually been stabbed. I had been trying to avoid thinking of Sylvia. The last few times we had talked, we had fought. It hadn't been pretty. I had assumed it was over, and that we just hadn't officially called it quits. She probably thought I had been angry and just left without a trace.

_Or maybe she died just like everyone else. _

I slammed the walls of my mind closed before that thought could take hold. My parents, my brother, Sylvia; they were all still alive to me.

I did my best to hide my thoughts, smoothing my expression into a blank calm as I came around the corner and caught sight of Kelly; I could mourn what might have been later.

I raised a hand in a half-wave. "Do I want to know what this is about?"

"I'm not sure myself, though I can guess. I wouldn't be too worried just yet," Kelly said as she tapped the door controls on Miranda's office. A moment later the doors opened to Miranda behind her desk, her eyes focused on her screen as she worked.

"You're earlier than I expected, give me a moment," Miranda said without looking up, sounding distant as her fingers blurred over the keyboard. Kelly and I settled into the seats opposite her as we waited for her to finish. I caught myself fidgeting again, my foot bouncing up and down on the floor, and forced myself to stop.

Miranda closed the screen and rolled her chair to face us, focusing on me as she leaned forward and extended a hand. "Mr. Moore, we haven't been formally introduced. I'm Miranda Lawson."

I took her hand in a quick shake, hoping that my stress wasn't as evident as it felt. "It's nice to meet, you, officially. Especially since the first time I thought I had dreamed all of that up."

"I take it that reality has settled in to a degree?"

That brought some of my bitterness back, thought I kept most of it from my voice. "Somewhat. I'm still having some issues with looking out the window and seeing the final frontier."

Miranda's lips curved up into a small smile. "Unlike Jacob, I have actually seen a few of those vids, though that is a bit beside the point." Miranda folded her hands in front of her. "Kelly, has Mr. Moore been acclimating? I heard there was an issue earlier."

"Considerably better than I would have expected actually, considering the circumstances. He's dealt with repeated emotional shocks quickly, and even reached out on his own to other members of the crew. I _am_ concerned that he's internalized a bit too much, but overall it's my opinion he's stable as can be expected." She glanced over at me and shrugged sheepishly. "No offense."

I just stared at her, startled. "I ... you've been psyching me this whole time?"

"Kind of the other half of my job," she said as she looked away from me. "I provide psychological evaluations for the Commander and XO for all the crew, make sure there aren't any concerns that need to be addressed."

"So ... Yeoman and ship psychologist?"

"Pretty much," Kelly said, and looked back at Miranda, still looking sheepish.

The other woman drummed her fingers on the desk thoughtfully. "Well, I'm still waiting for Mordin and Chakwas to complete going over of the rest of your medical data, but they both have already agreed that several of your genetic markers have been altered. Dr. Chakwas does not believe they are dangerous, but knowing why they were studying you and what the Collectors did might be important for the future."

My tongue stuck to the bottom of my mouth, and felt myself go absolutely rigid with a combination of horror and revulsion.

Kelly looked at me out of the corner of her eye and asked the question I couldn't get out. "Do they know what was done?"

"Not yet. Mordin said that the majority of it appears to be tied into brain chemistry. Dr. Chakwas also thinks that whatever was done is also responsible for why your vital signs signs keeping spiking all over the charts. Dr. Chakwas doesn't think any of it is immediately dangerous, but she won't know for sure till she can finish going over everything. Mordin more or less concluded the same, though his was … considerably more in-depth."

I forced myself to relax by inches. Whatever had been done, was done. There wasn't anything I could do about it now. But the knowledge that someone, some creature from across the galaxy, had snatched me up and experimented on me made me feel violated. My stomach twisted violently and if I had eaten anything, I might have been sick right there.

"I think you will agree that it's probably best that you stay with us,at least for the time being," Miranda said, then turned and looked at Kelly. "On that note, Kelly, I want you to see if you can't help our guest find some of the necessities he will need. I think he would be happier without having to borrow everything. I've already transferred you some funds to cover the expenses."

"Of course. Where are we docking at?"

Miranda's mouth twisted in disgust. "Omega. We still have a great deal of damage to repair, and it was the only dock in a reasonably safe range."

Kelly's expression grew alarmed. "With all due respect, ma'am, that might not be the best place to introduce someone to galactic society."

"Unfortunately, unless you think we should confine him to the _Normandy_, that's really the only option," Miranda countered. "In your professional opinion, do you think that would be the most prudent course of action?"

"I ... no. I think that might actually be counter-productive." Kelly leaned back in her seat, looking troubled.

Miranda nodded. "I've talked to Garrus and he's agreed to go with you. He knows his way around Omega better than anyone, except for maybe Thane. He'll make sure you stay in the safer areas and don't get into trouble. We'll dock in about an hour. He'll meet you at the airlock." Miranda turned back to her console and immediately seemed to get back to work. That had apparently been our dismissal, as Kelly rose from her chair without another word. I pried myself out of my own and followed.

As the door shut behind us, Kelly stopped and looked back at me. " You kind of tensed up there. Are you alright?"

"I'm just hungry or something. I haven't had anything to eat since this morning." I waved one hand, burying the thoughts of experimentation down and away as far as I could. "I'll be fine, I'm sure."

Kelly didn't buy it. "I wasn't kidding in there when I said you're internalizing things too much. You're going to stress till you burst if you don't find a way to let the stress go."

I let out a slow breath. "I know. I just need a little time, alright? "

She scanned my face for a long moment, intent and focused. "Alright. I'm gonna go put on something that isn't a uniform. I'll meet you up at the airlock in an hour?"

I nodded and she left me standing outside of Miranda's office with my own thoughts.

_You are still you. Whatever was done to you, It didn't change who you are. _

A shiver ran through me. I could think that with all the certainty I wanted. I could also be lying to myself.

* * *

><p>Two and a half hours later, showered and changed into yet another set of borrowed clothes, I glared down at the cheerful orange glow of my electronic nemesis. "You would think," I growled under my breath, "that you would be self-explanatory. But no. You are a freaking computer, phone, and tricorder all loaded into one, and not one of your functions is intuitive or even properly marked."<p>

The omnitool continued its cheerful little halo around my arm, as if in mockery of my attempts to navigate its menus. I sighed and lowered my arm and looked around for where my pair of chaperones had gotten to, from my perch on the bench in the middle of the market.

Garrus was hard to miss, towering over nearly everyone. He watched everyone and everything with the intensity of a raptor looking for prey. Despite that, though, he was a comforting presence, alien looks and all. Who was going to mess with a pair of little humans with the giant alien bodyguard?

Kelly was equally easy to spot. She had traded out the uniform for a more plain clothes look, including a leather jacket, but here her hair stood out in sharp contrast to everyone else's. Even my lighter brown was out of place amongst the dark-haired residents.

Garrus had led us through Omega to a place that felt like walking into Chinatown in Chicago. You knew you were in the same city, but suddenly you'd realize you surroundings all bore a kind of solidarity. Or in my case, a sense of familiarity; the neighborhood seemed almost entirely human.

I stood and stretched and started to pick my way across the little market till I reached him.

"I take it that Omnitool 101 isn't going precisely as planned," he said, his voice seeming to affect a dry tone. As he spoke, my omnitool sent the translation straight to the earbud Kelly had given me before we left.

Which was really really cool. It made everything echo some, but I was happy to deal with that minor annoyance.

"Yeah, you could say that," I said as I glanced around around at the small neighborhood. "I might be able to order myself supper. Or attempt to buy a small ship, I'm not sure."

Garrus's chuckle didn't need translation. "You'll get used to it eventually. Just will take some time."

"So I have been told." I opened the omnitool again. "Alright, clothes, toothbrush, shower stuff, and razor. Aside from a time machine, am I forgetting anything?"

"Not that I'm aware of. But if that's the case, what is Kelly doing?"

I looked over at Kelly as she haggled with a stout man. I frowned. "I have no idea, actually."

Kelly apparently finished her negotiations with the merchant, who smiled and passed her a small box. She tucked the parcel into a pocket of her jacket before she smiled and shook his hand. Kelly glanced over, looking around till she spotted us and began to weave her way towards us.

"Alright, I think we might be done," Kelly said as she reached us. "Where there any problems?"

Garrus shook his head. "Not here. Technically this is Blue Suns territory, but they never really come here. This is one of the few spots on Omega you can legitimately call safe."

"And aside from dealing with my omnitool deficiency, nothing on my end," I said with a shrug.

Kelly looked at Garrus then back at me. "Well, we can go back to the _Normandy_, but I have another suggestion if you feeling more adventurous."

Garrus's hawk-like gaze sharpened and focused down on her. "Should I be concerned by this suggestion?"

Kelly shook her head. "Ken and Gabby pried Joker out of the helm and dragged him to Afterlife with a few others. I was thinking we could go join them. You wouldn't have to stay, Garrus, unless you wanted to. We'd just come back when they do. Shepard already got a section set aside for any of the crew that wanted to go, apparently."

"Afterlife is a club?" I asked at a guess.

Kelly nodded. "Club and bar, mostly. I was just thinking it would be a good way to meet some of rest of us in a less formal setting than on the _Normandy._"

I looked at Garrus and back at Kelly. "As long as you keep me from poisoning myself, since I somehow doubt that rum and coke will mean much of anything to anyone else."

Kelly's smile lit up her face. "I think I can manage that."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong>Thanks for reading guys! Little later than I had intended, but hey. Massive thanks to Palaven Blues for help with the beta work yet again, she is amazing and awesome, you should go read her stories too :D_


	8. Chapter 8 - Afterlife

"You know," I half-shouted to Kelly as she led me through the press of bodies. "This actually feels kinda familiar."

"Go out to clubs a lot?" She called back to me, turning her head so I could hear her better.

I shook my head. "Nope. But add in a few colorful characters in superhero costumes, and this could be Halloween at the Cactus."

"Just don't go trying to pull anyone's masks off here," she said, having to raise her voice even more as we crossed in front of a pair of speakers. "Probably wouldn't go well."

"I'll keep that in mind!" I shouted as I looked around.

Club Afterlife was huge. Back, home, the Cacus could hold a couple of hundred people on a Thursday night. Afterlife was easily two or three times that, if not more. I craned my neck as I peered up at the three additional floors above us, taking in the view. People moved and talked, and danced all over. Overhead, suspended platforms held more dancers, writhing in time with the beat. Several of the walls to different sections held troughs of orange flame. In a few corners of the clubs, the flickering firelight was the only light.

Other sensations tugged at me. The air smelled of smoke, sweat and other things I didn't have names for. More than once I brushed past someone and could feel the roughness of their clothing or skin.

It was darker here, more intense than I was used to. The residents of Omega had a hardness to them that I was unfamiliar with. But the beat, the music, the need to relax and pretend the rest of world didn't exist for the night? That was something I knew.

A hand slipping into mine drew my wandering attention back to my immediate surroundings. Kelly looked up at me, brilliant green eyes searching. "You were wandering."

"Sorry, got distracted." I tried to think of something more to say, but for a second my ability to speak seemed to just vanish.

She squeezed my hand just slightly before she started to pull me back in the right direction. "We're almost there."

The crowd abruptly parted in front of a flight of stairs, which we hurried up to a to find several familiar faces. Kelly let her hand slip from mine as we reached the table, and for a moment a little pang of regret went through me as she did. It was a simple thing, but between the last few days, the fear and confusion, a little tiny piece of human contact felt very important.

"About time you two showed up!" shouted Joker from the far side of the table, his hand waving in a welcoming gesture. "Did tall, dark, and spiney come with you?"

"Garrus said he might later, but wanted to check on something," Kelly called back as we sat. "Did we miss anything?"

A woman's voice came from behind us. "No, you're right on time."

I turned to look as a beautiful, blue-skinned woman leaned between Kelly and myself to set a tray of drinks and shot glasses on the table. She flashed a grin at us as she pulled back. "Let me know if you all need anything else."

Joker, Kenneth, and Gardner almost simultaneously leaned back to watch her go. I glanced back as well, not really comprehending for a moment.

It didn't take me long to figure it out.

The server who had brought our drinks started to descend the stairs with a seductive grace. Her dress did very interesting things to her curves, accentuating them in a way that made it very hard to look away.

At least until a sharp cry of surprise yanked my attention back across the table. Ken rubbed his side with one hand. "What was that for?"

Gabby just crossed her arms and stared at him without speaking. Joker and Gardner both reached over and snatched drinks off the tray, trying to hide their silly grins behind the glasses.

Which reminded me that I was in a bar and club, and I had yet to begin to partake in the festivities. Couldn't have that now. I reached over and snagged a short glass about the size of a coffee cup filled with an azure blue liquid, and eyed it speculatively.

"I think that's Icewine," Kelly offered as she selected a glass that was a mirror to mine and took as sip. After a second she shivered and nodded. "It's good. Just … little strange. Try it."

As I raised the glass, I paused and inhaled, catching a faint fragrance from the drink. It smelled like a tropical fruit of some kind, foreign and a little spicy. Like something I would find on a white sand beach, the sun baking down.

I took a slow sip, letting the liquid roll across my tongue. It didn't burn like I expected from alcohol. It left a sensation that was more like a peppermint, cool in my mouth, but retained that tropical fruit taste. I looked at Kelly as I involuntarily shivered from the drink. "Okay, that is really a weird combination."

I must have made a face, because Kelly laughed and set her drink down. "Not a fan?"

"Jury is still out on that. Definitely new though."

"Well, then you need to down that and keep trying things," Joker said loudly. As if in challenge, he raised his glass then tipped it back, draining it.

"We'll see. Night's young." I took another swig of the cool liquid, then looked around at everyone. "Okay, so, this is a bit, belated, but uh … hi everyone?"

Joker snorted. "Socially awkward much?"

"Sorry, been a while since I have been out and about," I deadpanned. I dimly registered Kelly leaning back in her chair, still holding her glass as she observed the conversation.

Gardner apparently appreciated my witty repartee, and leaned over extending his hand. "Nice to actually meet you. Call me Rupert."

"Micah," I said as I shook his hand." Nice too meet you as well. And yeah, I've not exactly eaten a regular meal the last couple days, but I've seen you around."

The mess sergeant smiled and waved a hand dismissively as he sat back "Yeah, we haven't been really organized lately when it comes to meals, so I've just been throwing things together. You haven't missed much. I'll see about actually makin' something decent soon though, especially since these yahoos seem to think they are supposed to be fed or some nonsense."

Ken chimed in, leaning forward as well now. "We're hard-working folk here, Rupert! Of course we deserve to eat—and eat like kings when we can manage it."

Joker looked at the engineer like he had gone insane. "You realize that we don't eat like kings, right? I mean, you _have _eaten since getting on the _Normandy_?"

As Ken and Gardner both turned on Joker in defense of Gardner's meals, Gabby leaned over and stuck her hand out. "We got off on the wrong foot the first time, I'm Gabby."

I took her hand as well. "I think I stepped in it worse than you did, so don't worry about it. Nice to actually meet you."

"I think you're doing better than I would be. I'm sorry about your family."

A sharp jab of loss pulsed through me again, one more little twist of that knife. "It's alright. Ancient history really."

"Well, I guess that's true. But anyway, if you need to talk, you can always come find me or Ken."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you. I'm coping though, honest." I drained the last bit from my glass and set it down on the tray. It might not taste like what I would expect from alcohol, but I could feel it starting to work on me already, like a trickle of warmth running in my veins.

Kelly shrugged out of her jacket and draped it over her chair, a small frown on her face, and I found myself staring at her. She froze after a moment, meeting my eyes. "What?"

I narrowed my eyes in mock anger and pointed at her. "You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" she said, confusion making her crinkle her eyebrows together as she looked first at me, then at Gabby when I didn't immediately elaborate.

"You, are psyching me. In a club. When you're supposed to be relaxing," I accused. "Stop working."

She smiled apologetically, and set her glass down. "Sorry, habit. New social setting and surroundings. I didn't even think about it."

"Uh-huh. Well, considering you know all kinds of things about me, and I know nothing about you, I think it's my turn." I narrowed my eyes and looked at her. "Where are you from?"

The question seemed to startle her, but then she narrowed her eyes and smiled. "Question for a question."

"I go first," I countered, and reached for a second drink, selecting one at random from the tray. "Where is home for you?"

"Benning … though that means absolutely nothing to you. It's an agricultural planet, near Arcturus Station."

"And Arcturus is the headquarters for the Alliance, right?" I asked, jumping back to some of the _very _brief history I had read while on the _Normandy_.

Kelly beamed, wrapping her hands around her glass. "Right. Though that would be two questions now."

"But only one of them was about you."

"Oh, fine. Why did you study psychology?"

That rocked me back slightly. I had been bracing myself for questions about my family, about my personal life. Asking about school, especially when I hadn't done anything with my degree, hadn't been one I expected.

"I ... wanted to be a counselor originally. I didn't trust myself to be able to handle medical school, but I loved figuring out how the brain worked. When computer technology stuff made me tear my hair out, I finally swapped." I mulled over that a moment, and took a sip of my drink.

Fire burned all the way down my throat. "Holy crap," I said as I hacked, trying clear the sensation. I eyed the green liquid in the glass, blinking back the tears that had welled up, and set it back down on the table. "Have any family?"

"Both of my parents are on Benning still, along with my little sister, Erin," she answered immediately. "Why didn't you go for your master's?"

"Money and timing. I'd planned to, but life got in the way. Rather than bury myself in debt, I was trying to work my way to being able to. Didn't go as planned." I hesitated, thinking my answer over. I hadn't thought about my master's in years. Well, relative years, anyway.

Kelly shifted in her chair, and I realized that I had gotten quiet for longer than I had meant to. I felt my face flush in embarrassment all the way up to my ears. "Sorry, reflecting a bit. Um, ship psychologist, so psych degree? Or do you have a PhD?"

"Dr. Chambers would be mom, not me. I have a master's degrees in Psychology, Xenopsychology, as well as minors in Sociology, Anthropology, and Biology."

I did my best to fight off the stunned sensation. Kelly Chambers looked a couple of years younger than me, and I didn't even have my master's. She had two, and two more minors than me, to boot.

I apparently failed on the whole "masking expression" bit; Kelly's grin widened. "Surprised?"

"Impressed," I answered, leaning back as I tried to imagine going through that much school. It was distracting, so when she asked her next question, I was completely broadsided.

"Who's Sylvia?"

The bottom dropped out of my stomach like someone had pulled a lever and opened a trap door, and I couldn't breathe for a moment. I finally took the glass I had set down, and took a long drink. Fire poured through me again, and I welcomed it, focused on it as I tried to orient my thoughts.

_First love? Eight years of my life? My first ... everything? _

I couldn't meet Kelly's eyes. Instead, I stared into the bottom of the glass, as I tried to form some kind of response. A little part of me wanted to just scream in impotent rage and frustration at it all.

"Micah?"

I looked up as Kelly touched my hand and squeezed the tips of my fingers. I drew in a shaky breath. "Boy, you know how to pick 'em, don't you?"

"Maybe, but I didn't expect that reaction."

"Me either." I looked away from her, over to the others who were still boisterously arguing. Gabby had joined them, and leaving me and Kelly to our own devices. "How do you even know about her?"

"EDI helped me do some research. The name came up several times and I played on a bit of a hunch," Kelly answered. She brushed hair out of her eyes with her free hand.

"Good hunch," I said. I opened my mouth to finally choose the words to explain and stopped as a breathless Jenny Goldstein bounced into view, dragging a tall dark-haired man. Kelly and I released each other's hands at the same time as she came to stop next to us.

"You all must have your omintools on silent," Jenny said, pointing down at her Kelly's wrist. I glanced down, and finally noticed that a little orange light pulsed on the nearly invisible band, on her right hand.

"Miranda's ordered everyone back to the _Normandy _immediately. Something's up."

"But we just got here!" groused Joker. He looked around the table belligerently, but the other crew members just shrugged and started to stand. I joined them, and he sighed, pushing himself to a standing position. "Oh, Shepard is a dead man. I didn't even get half as plastered as I planned to."

"I'll let ya in on my stash when we get back, Joker," offered Ken as we started to filter towards the door, making our way back through the sea of people. "Just don't go and tell Miranda or Shepard about it."

"You've got a deal!" the pilot crowed.

It took us a lot longer to get to the doors of Afterlife than it had to get in, the already-thick crowd packing in so close that any fire marshal would have had a seizure just looking at the number of people. When we did get outside, the atmosphere of Omega felt ten degrees cooler and I paused for a moment, feeling a breeze from a vent somewhere.

Someone behind me gave me a little push and I started moving again. As I started to walk, I looked over my shoulder. Jenny had her arm looped through her dancing partner's elbow, a man I dimly I recognized him as her sparring partner. She was saying something to Kelly in a low voice, laughing as she did.

It felt almost normal. I had done this before. We would walk back, split up, and go sleep. The end of our evening of partying. Little bit of partying anyway. The alcohol in my body buzzed, a pleasant hum that relaxed me, letting my mind wander as I followed behind Gabby, Ken, and Gardner.

I glanced left, looking out past several parked skycars at the rest of Omega, down into several sprawling streets. It was actually a rather interesting view, in a urban, artificial way.

So I was looking right at it when twenty feet away from us, a skycar exploded in an incandescent fiery bloom of fire and shrapnel. Something whistled past my face, leaving a burning line of pain across my left cheek. At almost the same time, something tugged at my hip. I had an odd sensation of disconnection before pain blazed out from that small point of impact and enveloped my entire side, driving any coherent thoughts from my mind. The world tilted, like some giant hand turned Omega on its side, and the ground rushed up to meet me as the world faded from view.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** Special thanks to TenyumeKasumi for being kind enough to help with the lion share of betawork on this chapter, as well as thanks to MizDirected, Palaven Blues and Lady Amiee for the suggestions help in clarifying things! _


	9. Chapter 9 - Chaos

When I opened my eyes, everything hurt. My head felt like someone decided to do a freaking riverdance inside my skull. My side burned with a dull insistence, like I had a hot coal jammed into my hip. A half dozen other aches and pains announced themselves in creative stabs of discomfort as I levered myself to my knees. The world tilted again, and my stomach tried to empty its contents, bile souring my mouth. I held on, barely, and the world slowed its carousel ride enough that I finally started looking around.

Everything was on fire. Burning bits of metal and plastic were strewn everywhere, smoking and crackling like miniature campfires. On my left, the skycar that exploded had sent its two nearest buddies up in flames. Neither of them had exploded yet, but for all I knew that was a matter of time. To my right, a couple of smaller fires burned in the buildings there. Glass coated the ground in front of them like a field of crystalline razors.

My chest convulsed unhappily as I got a good lungful of smoke, and I gasped for a clean breath of air as my eyes began to water. My ears rang, but not enough to completely drown out the sounds of moans and screams.

A spike of cold shock jolted through me as my brain finally rebooted enough to recognize the cries of pain and fear. I felt my heart lurch in response to the cries, speeding up into the beginnings of "fight or flight", and I started picking out details closer to me.

Like the extremely still form of Gabby lying ten feet in front of me. Ken knelt over her, his hand on her cheek. He was saying something, but I didn't hear him. My eyes fixed on the blood covering Gabby's clothes, drowning out everything but the blooms of crimson.

Movement drew my attention to Joker as the pilot pushed himself up to a sitting position. He grimaced, holding one hand against his ribs and looked around.

Behind me a woman's voice began to beg, and I twisted to see.

"No, no, no. Damn it, no, stay with me. Don't you dare." Jenny sobbed, her hands pressed against the man's neck. Her dancing and sparring partner gurgled, a wet sound in his throat, and red seeped between her fingers.

Kelly had knelt next to her, one hand pressed over a similarly bloody wound on the man's leg. A thin sheet of blood ran down her face from a cut along her hairline. Her other hand was lit by the glow of her omnitool. "Anyone reading, this is Kelly, we need help. There was an explosion outside Afterlife. We need Chakwas and Mordin right now."

Static hissed back at her and she looked up at me, naked fear on her face. The man gurgled again, and Kelly jerked as she looked back at him, her face a shade paler.

The second she broke eye contact, I began to lose it.I looked down at the Jenny's friend and the gaping wound in his neck. I turned back to Gabby, her whole side torn up and covered in blood. Each visible injury chipped away at my control and in seconds, the sane and rational part of brain ran screaming into a nice safe corner of my brain and locked the door. I began to move, pulling myself away from the fires, the wounds all around me, the blood. When I did, fresh pain blazed in my side, and I looked down out of reflex. Blood caked my side and leg. I'd ignored it before, or maybe that was shock, but now that I was looking at it, I couldn't see anything else. The image took that mindless, mind-brain panic, and fed it nitrous.

I dragged myself to my feet, a hot, stinging sensation shoot up one hand, but I ignored it as I stumbled into a run. I started to hyperventilate, my breathing coming in quick ragged pants, and I didn't stop moving until I was behind a dumpster in the nearest alley. I pressed my back to the wall and did my best to become the smallest possible target I could. I tried to just breathe for a moment, squeezing my eyes shut against the storm of fear, panic, and pain.

I tried to count the pulse thundering in my ears. I got to one hundred before I opened my eyes and let myself examine the damage to my hand. In my terrified retreat, I had crossed the glassy no man's land and picked up a souvenir. I pulled the sliver of glass from my hand, gritting my teeth against pain. The pulse of pain changed from a sharp stab to a slow, more manageable throb.

As I stared at the trickle of blood from the cut, I desperately tried to bring myself in line. My heart pounded so hard in my chest that each beat hurt, a pinching sensation. I squeezed my eyes shut. It wasn't like I could focus on anything anyway. The only sound I could hear was my own pulse hammering in my ears, and everything had condensed down to a single razor's edge of fear.

I don't know how long exactly it took me to drag my mind back from the keen precipice of panic. I had been afraid plenty of times in my life before then, but never as mindlessly as I was at that moment. I'm not sure exactly what pushed back the curtain of panic, or if there was a single thing.

Whatever it was, I would have almost preferred the fear to what came next.

A knot of guilt and shame coalesced in my stomach, a lurching falling feeling, like someone tied an anchor to me. I'd left them. I didn't even _try_ to help, I just ran. I left Kelly, and Ken, and Gabby, and Jenny, and ran away. My stomach roiled again, for an entirely different reason

The only people I knew, and I had run away from them, left them to fend for themselves. What kind of person does that? What the hell was wrong with me? What kind of piece of crap would do that.?

"_If you weren't so self-absorbed _…."

The memory of Kasumi's words kicked my downward spiral's afterburners to full and into a nosedive. I had apparently not learned the first time. Bitter tears welled in my eyes, and my hands formed fists. My left hand, the cut one, blazed into sullen fire. I wish I could say the tears had come from the pain as the shock wore off. It wasn't. I absolutely loathed myself and how I had acted.

"_Maybe you should go work on that. Now." _

I shoved my sleeve at my face, scrubbing at my eyes and tried to clear the tears. A moment later my heart slowed some and the emotional paralysis that had gripped me started to slip. What was stopping me from changing that? I could still fix this, couldn't I? I had been a coward, yes, but facing fear was how how you conquered it, or so I had always been told.

I grabbed the edge of the dumpster, and pulled myself to my feet, taking a step back toward the mouth of the alley and the fires. The scene hadn't changed. Joker and Ken knelt over Gabby, while Kelly and Jenny did the same to their patient, trying to keep him alive. Gardner lurched into view, staggering towards one of Omega's citizens. I heard Gardner say something, but I couldn't make it out. A cut sliced across the cook's brow, oozing red down one cheek.. He slipped, dropping to one knee only about five feet from the man, and looked up.

The man, a middle-aged human, just looked at Gardner for a second. Plain clothes, brown hair … just an average joe.

Gardner's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth as if he was going to speak.

He never got the chance as the stranger raised his hand, leveled a small pistol at him, and shot the _Normandy's_ Mess Sergeant between the eyes. I froze, my arms and legs locked into place as the shock settled in.

Gardner jerked once and flopped back, dead before he reached the gunman stepped over him, and started walking calmly towards Kelly and Jenny, the gun at his side.

My gaze flashed to Ken and Joker, but neither of them had seen what happened. Kelly and Jenny were in the same boat, not realizing the danger. I hadn't heard him shoot, only seen the results.

As he took that first step towards them, my mind skipped into fast forward: how the shooter would raise the gun, and how Kelly would look up as the bullet tore through her chest. The spray of blood spattering behind her as she falls. How her life would seep from her as she tried to hold on. I could imagine the fear in her eyes as everything faded.

Each imagined moment of violence felt like a mental gear change. I should have been afraid. That was the reasonable, logical reaction. Man with a gun, bombs going off. I had been afraid just a minute before. But as he started toward the two people I could possibly call friends, my two connections in a huge and overwhelming new world, I didn't feel fear.

I felt anger.

It started small, a single candleflame. But as each moment played out in my mind, it picked up momentum. By the time my eyes locked on a segment of metal pipe, the pinpoint of anger had bloomed into something closer to a firestorm.

I snagged the foot and a half long pipe, some kind of exhaust piece, and I lurched into a run. Or tried to. It wasn't a run, not really, but it was the best I could manage with every other step sending a jolt of fire up my side. The fire just fed the anger even more, like a bellows feeding a furnace.

When I was about fifteen feet behind him, the gunman began to raise his hand to fire, with Kelly and Jenny both still completely unaware. Panic and rage blazed from my stomach to my throat, erupting in an shout as I hurled myself at him.

The gunman's head snapped around, and he started to turn, his arm coming around in a lazy circle as he tried to line up his shot on me. I closed the distance and swung, my improvised mace whistling down in an arc across my body that intersected with his wrist.

Something in his wrist shatter, and the shooter howled in pain as the gun went off, a quiet snap-hiss that I just barely heard over his his scream. I screamed back and reversed the pipe's direction, stepping into the swing and catching him under the jaw. His head snapped back, and he toppled. I kicked the gun away from him, and stood there, panting and shaking, the adrenaline coursing through me like white water.

I held my improvised mace in both hands and pointed it at his face. I loomed over him, my heart pounded, thundering with all the condensed fury of battle drums, and I lifted the pipe again.

A cold hand grabbed my wrist, stopping me from striking him. I turned and locked eyes with Kelly's bright green ones. I could see the fear etched all over her face, dancing in her eyes. The fury in me screamed, howling like a caged beast, and I tried to pull away.

Kelly didn't let me, her fingers tightening on my wrist, drawing it down with the careful slow motions one would use around a madman.

I looked back down at the unconscious man. Blood ran down his face where the pipe had broken his skin. It didn't seem nearly enough. I wanted to vent my rage. This murderer deserved much more. He killed Gardner, gunning him down like a piece of meat. Just something on a checklist, not even a person.

"Wait." Her voice quavered as she spoke, " "H-he might know something."

For a moment I considering jerking free, bringing the pipe down and ending him. It wouldn't take much, like smashing a melon.

"H-help Jenny. I'll get someone here," I rasped finally, not taking my eyes from the downed man.

She nodded, but didn't let go until I lowered the pipe, letting it hang from my side. Even then she didn't say anything, just turned and knelt next to the sobbing Jenny

A savage urge to ram my heel down on his throat and have done gripped me. To take that pipe, and keep swinging until I couldn't lift it anymore. Blood thumped through my ears, the only thing I heard for a several long heartbeats moment, and I looked over at the man's gun. I limped over and picked up the pistol and raised my omnitool.

"Garrus, please tell me you getting this?"

"I hear you. Is everyone alright? I got Kelly's message, but some thugs tried to jump me, and I haven't been able to raise Shepard since."

I looked from Jenny's friend to Gabby. My throat tightened and the pistol in my hand shook. "No. We need EMTs or something."

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in two minutes."

I pointed the pistol down at the man. "We'll be here. And we have someone you might want to talk to."

Garrus's voice sharpened, "You took someone alive?"

A little part of my mind giggled madly. _Micah, in the street, with a lead pipe. _"Yes. Whether he remains that way is a different question. Please hurry." I closed the connection, sighting down the barrel. My pulse hammered, and every time it did my side throbbed in discomfort. My finger itched on the trigger as I heard Kelly and Jenny start giving Jenny's friend CPR.

It was a very long two minutes. Garrus came flying out of the alley, all black and dark blue armor, only slowing as he locked on us. "How bad?" he demanded, looking from me to Kelly and then to Joker.

Out of the corner of my eye, Kelly shook her head, gathering Jenny into a tight hug as the other woman started to sob.

Joker looked up at Garrus. "Gabby's not good, but alive. We need Chakwas. Or Mordin."

"Everyone else?" the turian asked, glancing around the scene.

"I'll live," Joker said, wincing as he stood.

I pointed over at where Gardner had fallen without looking. I think if I had, the gun might have "accidentally" discharged a time or six.

Garrus followed my finger and hissed. "Damn it. Come on, everyone up, we have to get to back to the _Normandy_. Only safe place on this rock."

I looked around and did the math. Joker, hurt. Ken, hand in a sling, hurt. Kelly, not hurt, but busy. Jenny, inconsolable.

Fine, I can handle manual labor. I hobbled forward, and shoved the pistol at Joker, before lifting Gabby in both arms. It surprised me how light she felt, how fragile.

Ken caught my arm, squeezing. "I can get her."

I looked down at his arm, still in the sling and cast, and back up to his eyes. "No, you can't.

Ken jerked like I had just slapped him.

In some ways I had, and guilt trickled in. "Just … help Joker. I've got her."

Garrus just stared at me a moment, his bird eyes fixing on me. "Are you—"

I turned as my temper frayed, and I actually snarled at him,"Garrus, just get us the fuck out of here. Please."

The vehemence in my tone startled me, but Garrus seemed to take it in stride, and started to stalk forward, leaving me to carry Gabby. Every step was a new kind of agony, pulsing as I moved forward. I kept my eyes locked on Garrus's back, my point of reference in a storm of sensation, none of it good.

Joker paused and looked back, waving one hand vaguely at the downed gunman. "What about him?"

Garrus didn't stop. "Aria will take care of him."

A part of me wanted to ask what he meant, but Gabby stirred, and I did my best to keep from jostling her. Any rough movements on my part, and the improvised bandages on her arms and legs could come free. Garrus took the lead, with the rest of us trailing behind him a like a gaggle of wounded ducklings.

By the time we reached the _Normandy,_ my arms burned with fatigue, my hip was an incandescent flare of pain, and my head started to pound again. I set Gabby down on one of the beds in Medical, and simply slumped to the floor at its side, my task done. Dr. Chakwas hurried from the back of the room, and I just stared at her. I struggled just to stay conscious, but it just hurt so damn much.

_Well, that's what happens when you are next to something that explodes. It tends to hurt when metal and glass bits intersect with all the fleshy bits, idiot._

My grip on reality must have slipped, because I didn't remember getting up and sitting on a bed. But when I blinked the wall was at my back, with a cot under me. Medical was packed. Kelly sat across the room as Dr. Chakwas tended to the cut on her head. Gabby lay in the bed next to mine, covered in bandages, and wearing an oxygen mask of some kind. Ken sat in a chair next to the bed, and looked like he intended to be a permanent fixture for the near future.

I leaned back and let my eyes close. I floated, a dizzy, misty cloud separating me and the pain. Thank god for pain-killers. The only downside being, how fuzzy it made thinking. I tried to compress the random facts into coherent thoughts.

The _Normandy's _ crew had been out celebrating a victory. If that was the case, why had someone tried to kill us? And Garrus said that he had been jumped as well. Why? And more pressing, who?

The questions jumbled around, but I didn't have any answers. I wasn't even sure if it would matter for me, unless I got caught in the crossfire again. I settled back, and let the drifting carry me away for a while.


	10. Chapter 10 - Dream

When I opened my eyes, I saw snow.

I stared up at the trees above me as powdery flakes filtered down. One landed at the corner of my eye, and I flinched away as bitter cold radiated from it. The snowflake melted almost instantly, and the drop of water rolled into my eyelashes. I blinked several times to clear my vision, my view of the slate grey sky a series of snapshots as I did. Dark skeletal branches crisscrossed above me, like a sea of grasping hands, reaching out like they wanted to pluck some unfortunate bird from the sky.

The grey and white of the sky washed out the colors around the trees, turning the bark from brown to tar black.

I waited, trying to sort out the confusion in my head. Had I been dreaming ever since waking up aboard that nightmarish hive ship? Or was this the dream now?

I slowly sat up, pushing up with my elbows. Snow crackled and crunched under me as a I moved, echoing hollowly off the snow and bare trees. The reverberations came back to me from every direction, before fading into silence. As I looked around, the trees loomed, there bark seeming darker, more sinister than they had been a moment before. The clatter of branches rubbing together didn't break the silence so much as they accentuated it. That they seemed to be doing it all on their own without a trace of wind, or even a light breeze, just added to the creepy vibe.

"There is no wind in the Ways," I muttered to myself as I shivered. Whether it was from the discomfort of the surroundings or the winter cold, I couldn't' be sure. Either way, it was definitely time to leave.

The snow crunched again as I pushed myself to my feet, doing my best to make as little sound as possible. My hands, encased in impractical puffy gloves pressed into the snow as I levered myself to my feet. I stared at them a second. These gloves weren't the useful kind, that allowed you any mobility. These were the kind that made anything other than holding a shovel all but impossible.

That irritating fact now apparent, I took a second to examine the rest of my attire The coat was a dark blue and green one from high school. Brown coveralls protected my legs from the cold, and the same stupid boots I had been wearing for years covered my feet. Yay Napoleon Dynamite moon boots.

I'd worn worse ensembles, but I still looked a bit ridiculous. At least it wasn't the pirate Halloween costume from two years ago, complete with tights and foam sword.

I looked around, pieces of the puzzle starting to fall into place as I examined my surroundings. My childhood home had been a mile and half outside of the town, and jammed into a densely wooded area with a few others houses. Aside from them and the farm machinery repair shop behind us, there simply wasn't much there. As I stood up, I could see the top corner of the house's roof.

"Lying in the snow at the bottom of the hill, behind the house. Cause that makes sense," I said to myself, dusting some of the snow from the jacket. This didn't feel like a dream either, but neither did waking up in the pod, really, so hell if I knew which was actually real.

I started to make my way back up the hill toward the house. I reached the top, pushing some of the tangle of dead limbs away as I did, and paused. Something felt off. Like when you watch a movie, and something happens and the audio and video become unsynced? You get that feeling something is amiss before you figure out what is happening. That's what looking at the house felt like. Something was wrong.

I noted a few more details as I made my way across the yard towards the house. Like how the only car in the driveway was mine. The silver Ford Focus looked desolate under the powdering of snow. The bird feeders that mom kept full through the winter made the yard feel barren and empty with their absence

I stopped at the halfway point, my gaze roving over the back of the house. All the windows were closed and the blinds pulled on both floors. Even the blind's on the back door had been closed, something mom never did.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. It felt just so very, very wrong. I crossed the last bit of distance and reached for the doorknob, but it turned before I could open it myself, and it swung inward, leaving me face to face with … Gabby?

"You're late," she said. Her eyes had sunk into her eye sockets, hollow and empty. Bruises covered one side of her face, and the bandages that wrapped her arm and leg had soaked through so much she left a bloody hand print on the white door frame, a bloody footprint on the rug. "They were all waiting for you."

I took two quick steps away from her as she raised one hand and pointed behind me, towards the yard. I twisted, trying to keep her in my line of sight, and still see what she was pointing at.

My family stood in a single row fifteen feet directly behind me, in the yard I had just crossed. Where I was dressed for the cold, they all were dressed for a Sunday church service. My younger brother, taller than me by a couple of inches, stared vacantly at me while his hand intertwined with April's, my sister-in-law. Mom and Dad stood in an identical pose. My skin crawled, goosebumps running up my arms. They looked like mannequins, not people.

The last figure in the line broke the pattern in more ways than one, and I froze in a mixture of emotions as I met Sylvia's blue-grey eyes.

Her white summer dress swayed in a breeze I couldn't feel. Her chestnut hair draped down over her shoulder, and a morning glory was tucked behind one ear, the flower in full bloom. She smiled sadly and extended her right hand to me, a gesture so familiar that it hurt. I took a reflexive step towards her, reaching to take her hand.

Gabby's fingers, still wrapped in bandages, grabbed my side, and a lightning bolt of pain blazed over me. I doubled over, clawing at her hand. Her raw, angry voice hissed into my ear, "You're too late." She squeezed down again on the spot the shrapnel had struck me, and the world vanished into white hot agony.

My eyes snapped open as my hip and side throbbed angrily, a thumping in time with my heartbeat. The ambient green glow from the control panels cast more shadows than illumination, but at least I could still discern outlines.

I looked down at myself in the dim. At some point, someone had taken my shirt, as well as my pants. My face burned at that, and I tried to not think about the fact that someone had stripped me down to my boxers.

On my right, Ken hadn't moved from his vigil, but had lost the battle against sleep. He sat with his good arm on the edge of Gabby's bed, his head lolled forward to rest against it.

I turned my gaze to Gabby and felt my throat close a bit. As nightmarish as Dream-Gabby had appeared, Real-Gabby had her beat in the injuries department. She lay unmoving, her face covered by an oxygen mask. Bandages covered her arm and leg, and her bruises looked black and ugly in the dim green light. Above her head, a heart monitor beeped it's constant rhythm.

A nasal rumble to my other side caused me to turn to look, but when I did, the heat in my side went nuclear. The blistering agony drove the air from my lungs, and the green glow of the console vanished entirely. I wheezed in a breath, my fingers tightening on the edge of the bed as I waited for the pounding to settle down to a dull throb again, for my vision to return.

Joker lay on my left, shirtless and snoring. He looked about half-way to starring in a role as a mummy, as bandages wound around his ribs, his hand and one of his forearms.

All in all, between the four of us, you could probably salvage one working human being.

"Somehow I doubt Dr. Chakwas would appreciate being cast as Dr. Frankenstein," I muttered to myself as I reached over and snatched the plain hospital pants and shirt someone had left next to the bed. I levered myself out of bed, and managed to dress myself in the teal pants and white shirt.

I didn't know the time, but it had to be late. As I left Medical behind me, I noticed the lights in the mess were dimmed. I glanced over and looked towards the crew quarters as my mind turned toward Kelly and Jenny. Both had been okay, at least physically. Emotional injuries though, were another matter. Emotional trauma never heals quickly. I leaned against the table, taking some of the pressure off my of my injured side and slowly looked over the mess.

I hadn't known Gardner, not really. Before yesterday, I barely even talked to him. He'd seemed nice enough, but I knew nothing about him. My grip on the back of the chair tightened. He didn't deserve what happened to him. None of them de

The hairs on the back of my neck rose slowly, and I felt my shoulders tighten. The room suddenly felt several degrees colder and I froze in place, trying to place the tension that gripped me.

"You aren't what you seem to be."

I turned to face the voice but I moved too quickly and my side lit up in a christmas tree of pain that nearly dropped me to the floor. I let out an involuntary hiss as the blaze of agony receded like an outgoing tide, and forced myself to straighten as I turned to face whomever had snuck up on me.

Commander John Shepard leaned against the wall, his expression assessing and calm. He'd traded in his dress uniform for the more usual fatigues and t-shirt the rest of the crew favored. "You aren't what you seem to be," he repeated.

_No, I'm a twenty foot tall carnivorous dinosaur, that's what I am._

I jammed my sarcastic retort away. "What do you mean?"

He eyed me, looking up and down, from my bare feet to my face. "You aren't what you seem to be. I assumed you were just a lucky colonist at first, but you don't act like a civilian."

"Well, I've never been in the military if that's what you mean," I said as I looked him over in turn. Shepard looked as tired as I felt, and bore a slice under his right eye held closed by a butterfly bandage. The obvious fatigue didn't reach his eyes though, and the stare he leveled at me could have been used to sharpen bladed implements. "I've already heard what happened from the the others, but I want to hear your version," he said. "But I want you to tell me what you saw. What happened, as best you can remember."

"I didn't see much. It's all a blur, really." I said, and forced myself to focus on the haze of memories around the attack. "A car that exploded. It couldn't have been an accident, not the way the whole thing went up. When I came to, Gabby and … I don't know his name. Jenny's friend. They were both hurt. Kelly and Jenny were trying to keep him from bleeding out, Ken and Joker were trying to help Gabby." My stomach turned over, sloshing sullenly as I pictured Gabby's bloodsoaked form.

"Then this man stepped out. Gardner tried to get to him, to ask for help I think, and the guy just shot him. He started going towards Jenny and Kelly next, and I hit him. Garrus showed up and we got back here."

Shepard's brow came together. "And how did he not see you coming at him?"

_Because I ran when people needed help._

My face started to heat up, and I looked away from him. "I was behind him. He was focused on everyone else, didn't see me coming till the last second."

In the corner of my vision, Shepard's face lost all expression as he regarded me. "I see. Do you know who was behind the attacks yesterday?"

Something in his tone set off warning bells in my mind, something dangerous. Like if I gave him the wrong answer, I wouldn't like the result. "No, I don't."

He didn't move, just kept staring at me. It made Garrus's hawk-like stare seem absolutely cuddly by comparison. "What do you remember about being taken by the Collectors?"

"… nothing before Miranda pulled me out of the pod," I said."Well, her and … Grunt?"

"Do you know why the Collectors took you?" He asked immediately, barely letting me blink.

"No, wh—"

"Are you a danger to this crew?"

"No, I'm not!" I snapped, my anger at his accusation cutting through the remains of my control for a brief second.

Shepard just watched me for a moment, considering his words. "Let me be very clear. I don't trust you. While I don't believe you chose it, I think the Collectors turned you into some kind of ticking time bomb. We just haven't found the trigger yet"

Anger bubbled up inside me at the accusation and my head snapped around so I could glare at him. "So why don't you just put me off somewhere then? Or leave me on Omega?"

"Because I'm not in the habit of leaving dangerous weapons laying around where anyone could be hurt by them. And Mordin and Chakwas might be able to help you." He said without even a hint of rancor. He crossed his arms, giving him the impression of an immovable rock.

"So, I'm a prisoner then." I said. I could feel my temper simmering, his suspicion providing it fuel. I had stitches from where someone had been forced to dig shrapnel out of my side, and now I was getting compared to being a bomb?

He frowned. "Not the words I would use. I'm not restricting where you go on the ship, or what you do here. But until we know more, I can't just cut you loose. If you go offship, I want someone to go with you, is the main thing."

I subsided at that, and reined in my temper. It wasn't an unreasonable precaution. I shifted so I could half-sit on the table edge. "I can't say I'm eager to go off on my own anyway. Not like I know anything about anything out here."

"True enough, I suppose." His omnitool beeped and he glanced down. "I have to go. Once Mordin and Chakwas have something, we'll talk again."

That apparently was the closest thing to a goodbye I was going to get, because he turned and headed back towards the elevator, leaving me alone again. I let out a long sigh, and shivered, feeling the tension drain out of me. That man made me nervous in way that I couldn't explain. Just the force of his personality alone made me feel small.

A woman's voice spoke quietly from behind me and nearly made jump out of my skin. "He can be really intense."

"God damn it." I growled as I turned to face Kasumi. "I'm getting so tired of people doing that."

Kasumi quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms as she leaned against the wall in almost an exact mirror of the commander's stance just a moment before. She didn't look even the least bit apologetic. She also looked much better than she had the last time I saw her. Her arm wasn't in a sling anymore, and the dark, form-fitting clothing looked natural on her.

"And yes, he is. How long were you standing there?"

She shrugged with one shoulder. "Long enough for most of it." She looked past, towards the windows for Medical. From this side, you couldn't really see anything there, but it wasn't hard to guess her lines of thought. "Why didn't you tell him the truth?"

"I did tell him the truth." I pushed myself away from my seat on the table and turned so I could see her without craning my neck.

She shook her head. "Not entirely. You didn't lie, but you didn't tell him all of it. Why?"

I didn't meet her eyes, focusing on the far wall instead. I could feel the shame from yesterday, the guilt, just as keenly as I had when it happened. I despised it. If I hadn't run, I might have been able to help them save Jenny's friend. If I hadn't run, Gardner might still be alive. My voice barely registered above a whisper when I did speak. "Because you were right about me. I am selfish. And I was afraid."

Her expression softened, and she looked down. "Maybe. I'm not so sure now."

"I ran," I snapped. I felt one of my knuckles pop as my hand tightened into a fist. "I left them."

"You came back," Kasumi countered. "And a lot of people wouldn't."

I didn't really have an answer for that.

Kasumi waited for a moment, shrugged and turned to leave. She stopped, her hand on the wall and turned back. "Just a thought. But you being there, probably saved Kelly and Jenny's lives. So that has to count for something."

A thought popped into my head. "Wait. Garrus said he was attacked as well. And Shepard had a cut under his eye. Was anyone else hurt? Or …."

Kasumi shook her head. "Some bruises, that's all. Whoever they were, they came after everyone. Even tried to board the _Normandy._"

"Something tells me that none of those went well for them."

"Nope," Kasumi said brightly. "I don't think they even got past the airlock."

My mind treated me to an image of getting blown out into space or explosively decompressed in an airlock. I shivered. That would not be a fun way to go.

"You should get back in bed. If Chakwas catches you up and about, you'll regret it," she said.

I nodded, and realized that between the two conversations, and my brief excursion from medical, suddenly I wanted nothing more than to do just that. I mumbled something that I hoped could be interpreted as "goodnight" to Kasumi and shambled back towards medical.

_I probably could double as a zombie extra on "The Walking Dead."_

I practically fell into bed on my good side, suddenly too tired to care about little things like blankets. Zombies don't need blankets, right?

_Hey, I wonder how many seasons that had _….


	11. Chapter 11 - Crashing

White light beat down into my face like someone had turned on the sun three inches from my closed eyes. I did the only thing any sane person could do when waking up to that:

I rolled over and buried my face into the pillow.

That worked for about three seconds before the pain in my side forced me to shift my weight off it, and light blazed into my face again.

"Damn it," I snarled to myself and yanked my head up, looking blearily around. The beep-beep of the heart monitor sounded like a pair of drums, loud and fast.

Ken had risen to his feet next to Gabby's bed, his back to me as knelt over his friend. The door hissed open, and Doctor Chakwas hurried in, breathing heavily. I snatched at the glasses she had given me, jamming them on as the resentment of a petulant child bubbled in me.

Then the heart monitor let out a startling fast series of beeps, then squalled a single long tone. Even as bleary and half-asleep, I knew that sound. Hundreds of movies and tv episodes had conditioned me to recognize a heart that had stopped beating.

"She's crashing! Mr. Donnelly, move!"

Dr. Chakwas grabbed at Ken's shirt, yanking him out of the way, then darted to Gabby's side. Her hand slapped down on something on the bed, and a holographic image burst to life about a foot above Gabby's recumbent form, some kind of representation of what was going on inside the unconscious woman. Two spots of ominous scarlet light stood out on the hologram, and Chakwas let out a blistering oath the like I had only heard from former marines. She grabbed something off the tray on her right—a syringe of some kind—and jammed it into Gabby's chest. She emptied the contents and started CPR, her eyes locked on the hologram.

Ken Donnelly meanwhile, had frozen in place, transfixed with an expression of horror as the doctor worked frantically. His hand shook violently, like he might go into a seizure or some other fit any moment. He moved forward, his hand squeezing Gabby's.

I pushed myself up to a sitting position, unsure if I should stay or leave, memories of yesterday playing through me in a horrid parody of the scene three feet from me. Joker sat up at nearly the same time, and from the corner of my eye I could him trying drawing the same conclusions as we both looked on.

The door hissed open again, and Miranda bolted in, her hair a tangle of dark strands as she moved in on the other side of the bed. She traded off with Doctor Chakwas, giving the grey haired physician a moment to catch her breath. Chakwas looked over at Ken. "Mr. Donnelly, we need space to work.

The red haired engineer didn't even seem to hear her, his gaze frozen in place. Chakwas grabbed his hand, pulling his fingers free. "Mr. Donnelly! Move, please!"

I pushed myself out of bed and my feet hit the floor, the cold metal sending as zing through me that banished the last remnants of sleep. I caught Ken's good arm, and started to pull him bodily towards the door. He didn't fight at first, and only when we reached it did he actually start to struggle.

"Let go of me, god damn it! Let me go!" He sputtered, grabbing at the front of my shirt, trying to shove me back.

"They need room, and you don't need to see this," I snapped at him. I slammed my hand on the open controls for Medical, and tried to drag him from the room. Ken spat something in a language that sounded Gaelic, and dug his feet in, his eyes full of anger and fear. "You can't help her right now! Let them do their job!"

Joker's voice came from over my shoulder, tense and quiet. "Ken, he's right." He stepped up next to me, putting his good hand on Ken's shoulder in a halting motion.

Kenneth Donnelly turned murderous eyes on Joker for a moment, and then seemed to just deflate completely. I guided him out of the room, looking over my shoulder at Chakwas and Miranda as both reached for surgical gloves.

As the door closed on that scene, a wave of nausea and exhaustion hit me as my side thrummed with pain, like someone had strummed a guitar cord linked to it. Joker kept Ken moving, heading away from Medical and turning to go towards one of the ships lounges. I followed a few steps behind, keeping one hand on the wall to keep me steady.

The lounge was occupied when we got there. Kelly and Jenny were sitting at the corner of one couch, talking to each other. They both looked up, neither looking like they had actually slept at all. Kelly's eyes widened, and she rose to her feet. "What happened?"

I looked at Ken then back to her. Either Gabby's condition bothered me more than I thought, or the pain and exhaust had finally caught up to me, because when I did speak, I sounded flat. "Gabby's not doing well. Chakwas and Miranda were getting ready for surgery, I think."

Kelly's fair complexion lost even more color. "Oh, God." She hurried over to Ken's side, and took his hand, tugging him to a seat.

Which pretty much meant my job here was done for the moment, I decided. And I'd been in Ken's place before. To say it's not fun, is an understatement on a cosmic scale. I slid down on far end of Kelly's couch, and settled in to wait.

Hospital waits are the worst. They happen to pretty much everyone eventually, but that doesn't make them any more bearable. It's always a little too quiet, too cold. And everyone there is in the same boat you are in. This might have been a lounge on a starship hurtling at speeds faster than light could travel, but that really didn't change the fact that Gabby might be dying and there wasn't anything any of us could do about it now.

And when waiting to find out the verdict on if your friend or loved one is going to live or die, time seems to stretch on for hours, when only minutes have passed.

"Wibbly wobbly, timey-whimey," I mumbled as my eyelids slip shut again. For a second I can hear quiet conversation. I try and listen to the hushed conversation, but it's distant, indistinct, and I'm simply too tired. My eyelids drift shut for a moment and I listen to voices. After a moment they go silent, and my side starts to ache, a dull insistent throb.

I blinked my eyes open, shifting to take the pressure off and freeze as I look at the window.

_Or is it a viewport? Hell if I know, but doesn't the flashy lights bit mean we are at going somewhere? FTL or something?_

Halos of cobalt and violet blur together in a kaleidoscope just on the other side of the glass. The flashing colors played across the room, bathing everything in a myriad of pale lights. I pushed myself up, and looked around the room.

Joker and Ken were passed out on the couch across from me, one on each corner. Jenny had followed their example, and had curled up just about in Joker's lap, her mouth open as she slept. Kelly had fallen asleep on the same couch I had been on, though she hadn't laid down, just curled up on the far end, a blanket flopped onto the floor that she had probably had tucked around her.

I eased myself to my feet, and snagged the blanket from the floor as I straightened. Kelly didn't stir when I stood, but she shivered as I draped the blanket over her shoulders, ducking her face into the couch seat a bit more to get away from the light.

I slipped from the room without a sound. They were tired, and if I couldn't sleep at least I wouldn't wake them. As the door closed behind me, the light from the window vanished, leaving me in darkness while my eyes adjusted. It gave me a moment to think.

_What am I doing here? People died. Hell, I almost died. _

A voice in my head answered me. _Where else would you go?_

_Anywhere but here. I'm not a soldier. I'm not a pilot. _

_And there isn't anywhere for you to go. Everyone you know is dead. Accept it, and figure out what you will do now. Mourn what you have lost, but don't let it cripple you. _

Whispered voices echoed down the hall from me, ending my internal debate. I blinked and headed toward them. I didn't know what time it was, but maybe one of them would know what had happened with Gabby.

As I got closer, the voices resolved themselves into Dr. Chakwas and Miranda Lawson, seated at the mess table. Both of them looked haggard, and Chakwas had her hands wrapped around a mug of something steaming. I caught a faint whiff of coffee and started salivating. When was the last time I had coffee?

_Technically nearly 200 years go or whatever. Damn. _

Miranda noticed me first, her mouth twisting down into a small frown. "Should you be up and walking around? Ms. Chambers said you were asleep in the lounge."

Dr. Chakwas turned to look at me as I answered, "I was. Whatever you gave me for the pain wasn't enough to keep me under when I rolled over on my side." I looked over at the still lit Medical Bay. "How's Gabby?"

Chakwas pulled her mug closer. "Stable for now. We got the internal bleeding stopped, but we'll need to give her another transfusion in a hour or so. Mordin's sitting with her now, monitoring to make sure we didn't miss something else."

A little part of me that I didn't realize I had been holding tense, relaxed. I leaned on one of the chairs and let my eyes close as relief washed over me. "Good. I … just good."

"Very good," agreed Chakwas as she took a drink. "We'll know a bit more in the morning, but I think she'll pull through."

Miranda meanwhile had been watching me, blue eyes fixed on my face. She leaned onto the table, resting her chin on her interlaced fingers. "While I've been told what happened, I have to ask; Did you really take down that shooter with nothing but a piece of pipe?"

I felt my face heat up, and glanced away. "He didn't see me coming."

"That's not what Mr. Moreau said. He said you came at the guy with a roar that would have made Grunt proud, and that you hit him so hard, you broke his jaw," Miranda pressed, blue eyes drilling into me. "That you saved Goldstein and Chambers' life, and probably everyone else's. And when Garrus got there, you were the one that carried Gabby all the way back to the Normandy before you would let anyone even look at your injuries."

If I could have burst into embarassed flames then and there, I probably would have. "It just happened. Someone had to carry her, and Ken and Joker couldn't." I managed, still not meeting Miranda's eyes. I didn't deserve praise for any of it. I had just told Kasumi that, why did everyone suddenly seem to think I had done something impressive?

"Well, I can't speak for everyone, but as a general rule, we take care of our own. You went out of your way to do that. I think you'll find you made a few more friends around here."

I blinked and looked up at her. "I didn't do anything special."

"That's not what everyone else thinks. If I were you, I would just accept it. You earned some respect, in my opinion." Miranda yawned, covering her mouth with one hand. "Doctor, I'm going to lay down. Wake me when you need me to help with the transfusion. "

"Assuming that Mordin doesn't take care of it, I will. Thank you for your help, Ms. Lawson," Doctor Chakwas said.

"Of course. Mr. Moore, I hope you recover quickly."

I waved a hand in a goodbye. "Good night, Ms. Lawson." I turned my focus back to Dr. Chakwas. "Where are we heading, by the way?"

"Illium. Apparently we are going to find Dr. T'Soni." Her lips formed a thin line. "This seems to be a recurring theme in our adventures."

"Um, you lost me," I said as I slid into the chair that Miranda had vacated. My hip complained until shifted around and found an angle that didn't hurt too much.

"I forget you probably only have had a chance to get a brief history of the last several years." She sipped her coffee, her eyes going a bit unfocused as she thought about her next words. "Liara T'Soni was an archeologist focused on Prothean History. A few years ago, she was one of the original members of Sheperd's team that helped to stop Saren. She and the Commander … became involved. When he was supposedly killed, she vanished, and I didn't hear anything about her, until we showed back up on Illium looking for information on the Collectors. She and the Commander had a fantastic argument, apparently. It's hearsay, but from what I have heard, she sent a message that arrived just an hour or so before the crew was attacked, asking him to come to Illium, that she was in danger."

She took another sip of coffee. "Once he got that message, I'm not sure the Commander even remembered to seal the airlock before we were laying in a course for Illium."

I mulled over that a moment, and looked over at Medical Bay. "Danger like a bomb going off?"

"It's possible, however the timing would have been very tight. They would have had to intercepted Liara's message just as it was sent." She shrugged. "While we might have thumbed our noses at Cerberus as a whole, a retaliatory attack like this seems out of character. "

I shook my head. Trying to keep the names and places and organizations straight was giving me a headache.

Chakwas sighed and stood, leaving her cup of coffee on the table as she did. "I should get a little sleep as well. Did you need anything? You said the pain woke you?"

I waved her off with one hand. "I'm okay. Just … thinking a lot now. I'll come by later so you can dose me again."

She nodded and crossed the room, setting down her cup and getting a new one from the cupboard. She filled it and walked back to the table, setting it down in front of me, a small smile on her lips. I looked up at her, surprised.

"You have been staring at my cup since you got in here. And consider it my thank you for your help yesterday." She slid the mug closer. "Good night, Mr. Moore."

I wrapped my hands around the mug out of reflex, feeling the warmth seeping through to my hands. "Good night, doc." I looked down at the dark liquid as she walked away, giving my mind a moment to try and sort itself out, thinking about a name and what I knew about it.

_Normandy. Human space ship. Where I am now. _

_Krogan. Alien. Strong and tough. Huge. _

_Omni-tool. Computer and cellphone. And a pain in the ass. _

_Salarian. Mordin. Smart, tall. _

_Shepard. Scary. Commander. _

I went on that way for a while, trying to keep all the details straight in as concise as manner as I could manage. Memorization had never been easy for me, and simple repetition had always been only real way for me to keep facts straight.

_Kasumi Goto. Sneaky. Attentive. _

_Joker. Pilot. Sick, brittle bones. Sarcastic, funny. _

_Jenny. Short. Friendly. Hurting._

_Kelly … _

I stopped trying to quantify the last name and found I couldn't, not in the same manner as I had the rest. I frowned, staring at the liquid as I sorted that thought through. I liked Kelly. She'd been friendly with me, she'd saved my life. She genuinely cared about the people around her, even a complete stranger like me. She didn't fit in all the nice simple categories that I had been working under.

I shook my head, tired. And started again from the top of the list.

_Normandy. Human space ship. Where I am at now …._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong>Thanks for reading! Sorry, I had some real life issues come up and I got a bit off my game and writing schedule. I'm getting back in the swing of things though, so should be back on schedule more or less. _


	12. Chapter 12 - Jump

My hip grumbled at me—a dull, sore feeling—as I pulled myself into a sit-up. I held myself there for a three-count and then relaxed, slowly easing myself back to the floor, staring up at the ceiling and the lights of the mostly empty hangar bay.

_Kasumi Goto. Sneaky. Thief by trade. Part of the _Normandy _ground team. And more than a little bit of a prankster if given an opportunity. _

I pulled myself up, again, repeating the exercise, the dull heat from the healing injury almost cathartic in its constancy. I'd lost track of how many I'd done, but I had gone through my mental list once, and it wasn't a short list anymore.

_SSV _Normandy_. Human Alliance Frigate. Stealth Drive. Destroyed, SR-2 rebuilt by Cerberus. Commander, John Shepard._

Another sit-up. Another string of facts to beat into my skull.

It had been twelve days since the bombing on Omega. I didn't have a real job on the _Normandy_, other than to apparently get in people's way, so I spent most of my time working to bring myself up to speed on all the things I had missed.

Joy.

I lay back, breathing for a moment, letting the the cool metal of the ship plating start to equalize my own temperature. Twelve days. Eighteen days in total since I woke up from a dream and found out the world had gone on without me.

It seemed a lot longer.

I closed my eyes, breathing slowly as I just listened to the ship rumble around me. Paying such close attention to my surroundings, I actually noticed when the elevator doors opened. I cracked an eyelid to see who had interrupted my workout-turned-nap.

"You know omnitools only do you any good if you're wearing them, right?"

I rolled my eyes and sat up to face him. "Hey, Hadley. And yes, I'm aware. It was kind of intentional."

Richard Hadley mirrored my eye-roll and crossed his arms, his face schooled into a mask of at least partly feigned annoyance. I couldn't take him completely seriously though, even if he wasn't faking it. He might be three years older than me, if you discounted the 200-year cryosleep, but he looked like he should just be out of high school. "Well, put it back on, so I don't have to play gopher. We're about to make the relay jump, and Kelly thought you might want to see it, since you missed the last one."

That got my interest, and I reached over, snagging the omnitool from where I had laid it, snapping the nearly-invisible band back on my wrist. "Thanks. How much time do I have?"

"About fifteen, so yes, shower. Please shower. I beg you," Hadley said, wrinkling up his nose, waving a hand in front of it, grinning as he did.

"Watch it, or next time we're playing poker, I'll help Ken take your money, not try and stop him."I pulled myself to my feet, muttering darkly under my breath, though I didn't have any real heat in it. I liked Hadley. Even if I wanted to be annoyed by him, it didn't tend to stick.

_He's kind of like a sad puppy, really._

"Ouch, that's just low," Hadley said, affecting a hurt expression. He stepped back. "Anyway, enjoy the view. I'll be riding out the jump at my station this time."

"Yeah, some day you'll have to convince me you actually work around here," I quipped back at him as we made our way to the elevator. I got off on the crew deck and headed for the showers.

I tugged on the spare set of clothes and made it up to the Bridge—_No, CIC, get it right_—with a couple of minutes to spare. I hadn't been up there more than a couple of times in total, and so when I stepped out of the elevator, everyone turned to look.

This time, though, they weren't hostile stares tracking me. Almost everyone either went straight back to work or raised a hand in greeting, or some other quick acknowledgment as I met their eyes. Miranda and Kasumi had been right. I didn't know everyone, but I'd managed to move up in their estimations.

I made my way across the CIC, heading for Joker's domain and sanctuary. As I came around the corner though, I found someone I else who normally stayed below decks..

"Get up here, loser, before Red bounces a hole in the deck plating," grumbled Jack. She'd added something that looked like a denim jacket with cut off sleeves to her ensemble.

"Hey, I'm right on time," I said as I slipped past her and stepped to the side. I gave Jack a sideways look. "And I'm pretty sure you're up here less often than I am. What gives?"

Kelly answered before Jack could do more than open her mouth. "Jack's up here because she spends too much time alone, and I thought it would do her some good to be out of the hold." Kelly crossed to my side of the cabin, leaning against the edge of the console next to me.

I looked from her to Jack then back. "And you got the commander to convince her, didn't you?"

Kelly smiled but didn't say anything to that, just crossed her arms. Jack's scowl deepened, but the real tell had to go to Joker, who started laughing.

"Damn. Two weeks and he's got you pegged perfectly," he said, shaking his head.

Jack made a disgusted sound and leaned against the opposite wall, but didn't argue the point either. She looked away, out the front viewport, muttering, "Are we there yet?"

"Yeah, yeah, hang on to your bra strap," Joker shot back, turning his attention to the controls. The star field swung around as the _Normandy_ changed course, and I turned to look, watching over Kelly's shoulder, and got my first look at a Mass Relay

Massive didn't cover it. Energy flickered and pulsed at the center of the structure's concentric rings, running up and down it's length. Familiar and alien at the same time, this device—and those like it—tied the galaxy together. I couldn't help but stare at it, a sense of awe filling me, like standing on the edge of a massive cliff and looking way down at the river that carved it.

"Alright, everyone," Joker said before he touched something on the console, a countdown timer starting in the corner of his screen.

EDI's voice echoed through the ship. "Mass Relay jump in 30 seconds."

Kelly glanced back at me. "Hold on to something," she said, her hand gripping the console next to her. Something in her voice made me hesitate, and I met her eyes, trying to place the odd feeling. Hold on to something? _Am I missing something? _

"Relay jump in twenty seconds."

I looked back up at the relay, my hands closing on the back of Joker's chair and on the console, bracing myself. I hadn't been conscious for either of our previous relay jumps, so I didn't know what to expect. Kelly turned her attention back forward as well, and the massive structure filling the viewport. My heart started to hammer in my chest, the anticipation of a plunge down the first drop of a roller coaster.

"Relay jump in ten seconds."

One breath. Two. Three.

"Initiating relay jump."

Time simply froze for a moment. Everything froze in a perfect crystal clarity that I don't think I could have replicated with a photograph, a hundred photographs. Then everything blurred, enveloped in a haze of blue-white fire, stretched for an eternity.

**Snap. **

I gasped, and only my white-knuckled grip on the seat and console kept me standing.

"Holy crap. I slept through that? Twice?" I managed to pant out as I forced my fingers to let go.

"Aww, look at baby's first relay jump," Jack said, the mocking tone in her voice not quite scathing. "Should I get you a blankie?"

I glowered at her She looked completely unruffled. Hell, she looked _more _relaxed."Oh, bite me." I growled finally, and closed my eyes, trying to force down the feelings of discomfort and panic.

"You'll get used to it. First few times are the worst, honest," Kelly said. I felt her hand against the side of my neck for a moment, and when I opened my eyes, I found she'd turned to face me. Her mouth fell into a small frown, and she glanced at Jack—who still looked like the cat who got the canary—, then back up at me.

"Oh, goody." I let my eyes close again and counted to ten as I tried to shake the feeling of being compressed like some kind of sardine. The _Normandy_ rumbled, and when I looked, we were at FTL again.

"How long till we get to Illium?" Kelly asked as she let her hand drop and turned to face the pilot, taking a half step back, leaning against my arm on the console behind her. I didn't pull away, and a little smile quirked up on her lips.

"About eight minutes, give or take, about another ten or so to get landing permission, probably," he said, turning the chair to face us. "Which reminds me, do we know what kind of trouble Liara is in this time?"

Jack shrugged. "Hell if I know. I've never even met her."

Joker focused on Kelly, his gaze calculating. "You see most of the incoming messages for the commander. What's the word?"

Kelly shook her head. "He keeps his messages from Liara confidential. I can see them as they arrive, but even if I wanted to, I couldn't access them."

"Ugh, on second thought with those two's history, that probably is a good thing for your sanity," Joker said, his face scrunched up in disgust.

Kelly's face flushed. "Oh god, I didn't even think about that."

Jack and I shared a look of mild confusion before Chakwas's words from the other night suddenly clicked. I shook my head and tried to banish the unwanted mental imagery. "I don't want to know."

_Shepard and Asari girl doing the horizontal tango. Yay for fresh nightmare fuel. _

Jack got it the same time I did, and she burst out laughing. She doubled over, her hands on her knees, unable to stop.

"Do I want to ask what is so funny?"

All of us looked up at Commander Shepard leaning against the door frame, his face a neutral, one eyebrow quirked in inquiry. Jack took one look at him and doubled over again.

I slowly shook my head. "Sooooo not it."

Kelly's flush deepened and shook her head. "Nothing, sir."

Shepard looked at each of us in turn, then focused on Joker finally. The pilot raised his hands. "Oh, I'll explain it if you make me. But I'm going to state right now, this is one of those things you will be happier not knowing, I promise."

"Uh-huh." Shepard shook his head. "Fine. Joker, let me know when we're down. Jack, get your gear. I need you and Zaeed for something."

Shepard turned and looked at me. "As for you, Tali wanted to talk to you."

A chill ran down my spine as I met his eyes, making me hesitate. Two weeks, and every time he looked at me, it felt the exact same, the same strange sense of unease. "I, um, okay? What about?"

"I didn't ask. Go find out, she doesn't bite," Shepard said, then turned to Kelly, apparently dismissing me from his mind. "I need you to find Ms. Goldstein. I want you and EDI to go over the records of all communications and transmissions we have sent and received. I think we have a bug, and not one of the Illusive Man's."

"Yes, sir. I'll get right on it," she responded automatically. Orders received, the three of us filtered out, leaving Shepard alone with Joker.

I waited till we were half way across the CIC before I spoke. "There's no reason I should be worried about having Tali want to talk to me, right?"

Kelly opened her mouth to speak, but Jack cut her off. "Maybe you screwed something up and she had to fix it. Now she wants to 'discuss' the problem with you. She's pretty good with that shotgun, you might wanna find some armor."

"Tali's a sweetheart," Kelly interjected, shaking her head. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."

"Hope you're right," I said, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice. I didn't have a problem with anyone on the ship—other than a general desire to rib Hadley, but hey, who didn't—but I also hadn't interacted much with Shepard or his core team, and even less with the non-human members of the crew, aside from Mordin. It wasn't that I avoided them, but I'd not gone out of my way to find and bother them, either. I screw up with humans enough, God only knows how I would screw up with extraterrestrial beings.

_Can I even use that phrasing? I mean, don't I qualify as extraterrestrial now? Gah. _

I took a detour before heading down the rest of the way to Engineering, slipping through the crew deck to Medical. Doctor Chakwas looked up as I entered, peering at me owlishly over the top of her computer. "Mr. Moore. I see you seem to have handled your first conscious relay jump without mishap. What can I do for you?"

"Just wanted to check in on your patient before I went to meet her boss," I said, looking across the room to where Gabby still sat up in her bed.

Gabby waved one bandaged hand at me. Several blue and purple bruises marked her face and neck. Her eyes, though, were alert and focused, and she smiled at me, even if it looked a bit forced. "The resident patient has a name, and is bored with being stuck in bed all day."

"Yeah, well, that will teach you to duck faster." I crossed the room to her bedside. Behind me I heard Chakwas's chair roll as she turned back to her work. "Next time, maybe let Ken take the hit instead. He's got a thick head, right?"

"Would bounce right off him," Gabby agreed, her smile sliding into a grin. "Going to meet Tali? For the first time?"

"She apparently wanted to talk to me. Not sure why," I said fidgeting. My nerves were apparently more on edge than I had thought.

Gabby looked down at my hands, then back up at me. "Relax. Tali is really nice. If it was something bad, she's have tracked you down, not asked you to come find her."

I felt my shoulders ease. Kelly knew people, and this crew in particular. I trusted her, but everyone can make a mistake when it comes to how someone would react. Gabby telling me the same thing went a long way to edging me off the panic attack. "Thanks. Anyway, how are you feeling?"

She scrunched up her nose like she smelled something foul. "Bored, sore. But better. I hope I'm up and out of here in the next couple days "

From across the room Chakwas answered that, not even looking up from her computer. "More like a week, but we'll see how you're doing."

Gabby rolled her eyes, the frustration about being cooped up clear. She mouthed words. "Help me please." at me.

I chuckled and shook my head. "When I can pry everyone free from their jobs, we'll bring the game to you again. Can't let you get too bored."

She reached over and pushed me weakly with one hand. I obligingly rocked back from her and she smiled. "Go. Don't keep the bosslady waiting."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note:<strong>__You know, I would be totally lost without my support structure. Shout outs Mizdirected and Palaven Blues for constantly kicking my ass into gear, and kicking my grammar back into something that you could reasonably pretend is English. _

_The next chapter is ... mostly done. I'm using this story as my project for Camp Nano, and have actually managd to write ahead for the first time in a long long time. So it's possible I will get antsy for a while and post chapters a little more quickly. We shall see though. Anyway, enjoy!_


	13. Chapter 13 - Alice

A shouted string of Gaelic curses drowned out the sound of the engine and mass effect core as I stepped through the doors of Engineering. I didn't bother listening to the translation. The tone of voice told me plenty, and I did my best to hide my amusement.

"Ken, what did you break now?"

"Fuck off, you prehistoric bastard, or get over here and give me a hand," Ken shouted from somewhere to my left, his voice rebounding like he was in a vent.

I didn't bother to hide the grin as I stepped around the corner and looked around. No Ken. "Where exactly would 'here' be?" More curses. I quirked an eyebrow and looked down at my omnitool and the translation there. "Really? You want to bring mothers into this?"

"Oh, shut your trap. I'm right below you."

I looked down at deck grating, this time looking through it. Ken looked like the scrawy kid who had been stuffed into his own locker. I tried to keep a straight face. Kinda. "I assume you wedged yourself in there like a sardine for a reason?"

"No, I crawled through a vent and all the way down here for the fun of it," he snapped. He jerked his chin at the panel. "Pull that up so I can get out of here."

I stepped off the grate and leaned down, feeling for a grip. "Isn't this bolted down or something?"

"Maglatch. Feel around the to— there ya go."

My fingers found the latches, flicking them to the off position and then lifted, holding it up while Ken squirmed out. "How long have you been down there?"

"Since the jump. I got twisted and couldn't get free. Stupid bloody crawl spaces." He kicked the panel, then reached down and clicked the locks back in place. "I didn't expect you down here."

"Yeah, your boss wanted to talk to me. Not sure why." Unease gathered in my get as I remembered the whole reason I had come down here.

The door hissed as it opened and we both turned to look. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy stood framed in the door, her head cocked slightly to the side. It made me think of a bird looking at a potential meal.

"Oh good, you're both here. " She stepped over to the console she normally occupied, and closed down the interface. "The _Normandy_ left Omega so fast that we didn't get all the parts we needed. When we Iand at Nos Astra, you, me, and Ken are going to go out and get some of the things we are missing."

Ken and I shared a look before I turned back to her. "Okay, I'll bite. Why?"

"Because I need the help, and you aren't busy," Tali said shrugging. "Besides, Kelly said some time off the ship would probably be good for you."

A mixture of annoyance and amusement rolled through me as my eyes narrowed. "Did she, now?"

Tali stopped, and did the head tilt thing again, her voice sounding puzzled. "She shouldn't have?"

I shook my head, feeling myself relax at just how normal this conversation seemed. "No, she's probably right. I was just talking to her, and she neglected to mention it." I glanced at Tali again, this time without the previous tension. She seemed … nice, friendly and open even. And I couldn't even see her face.

_Why was I nervous again? Talk about over-reaction._

"Alright then. Meet us up at the airlock after we dock. It shouldn't take us too long, I hope," Tali said,before she turned to Ken. "You too. I want to make sure we pick up the emitters for the starboard array."

"Yes, ma'am. We also need some mag coils for the inertial dampers on the crew deck. They're throwing up failing warnings, and I wouldn't wanna be anywhere close if they failed."

I backed away, leaving the two engineers to sort out their shopping list, and tried to stop the sudden spasm of fear that my memory handed me. My hand settled on the mostly healed spot on my hip. Doctor Chakwas's medication and medigel had accelerated the healing process, reducing the weeks of healing it would have taken. But the memory hadn't healed. I didn't want to get blown up again.

_You didn't want to get kidnapped by aliens and frozen. What you want really isn't relevant._

* * *

><p>If Omega had reminded me of the different ethnic neighborhoods, like Chinatown, Nos Astra could only be downtown Chicago. Gleaming towers rose above us, and descended beneath our feet as we made our way off the docks. Overhead, streams of skycars swooped in lanes of traffic, a criss-crossing grid of vehicles that never seemed to slow.<p>

I had been to Chicago on several visits, and it never ceased to boggle my mind with the sheer size. Nos Astra had the same effect but with one major difference

Blue people everywhere.

I flashed back to the remembering the girl who had brought our drinks while at Afterlife. I hadn't really seen another asari since then, but I had done a little homework on them while reading up on some of the thousands of things I would need to remember. Though reading simply doesn't prepare you for the reality.

I'd thought that waitress had been attractive—just like every other guy at the table—but as we walked through the upper walkways of Nos Astra, and passed through the crowds of people, most of them asari, a question popped into my head.

_**Is**_ _there such a thing as an unattractive asari?_

I turned to watch one asari walk past, her indigo skin set off by the silver and white skirt. She smiled, a simple radiant look that made my heart skip a beat for a moment before I came back down to Earth.

To say it was disconcerting would be an understatement.

The "We" for this little outing turned out to be more than just Tali, Ken and myself. Apparently I hadn't been the only one with concerns about pyrotechnic displays, and Shepard had assigned bodyguards. Admittedly, Miranda didn't look like bodyguard material to me, more like the one that should be bodyguard-ed, especially when not in the heavier armor I had seen her wearing on the Collector base, but … there was something about the way she moved, the confidence in her step. A big cat on the prowl.

Thane, on the other hand, looked precisely the part. The drell had been my second up-close encounter with an alien species, but since then I had seen him exactly three times, and one of those just in passing. Tall, dark, formidable looking, the long coat he wore drawing to mind a gunslinger. The look would have been a perfect deterrent.

Except Thane had a tendency to simply vanish into the crowd or background. One second he would be ten feet in front of me leading, then poof, gone. And next time I looked back, he'd be walking ten feet behind me_. _ It was unnerving as hell.

"How the hell does he do that?" I muttered to the other three as I looked left and right, trying to spot Thane.

"Don't bother. I haven't figured out how he does it either," Tali said as she read something from her omnitool, only looking up when the crowd became too thick to navigate.

"Doesn't change the fact that he's creeping me out." I finally spotted him, leaning against a building ahead of us, his gaze turned away from us and focused on some point farther down the street.

"Doesnt' matter, we're here," Tali said and closed her omnitool and leading us to one side. I followed as she crossed over to the other side of the street, leading us to a doorway I had missed, and up a flight of stairs into what could only be described as a warehouse of shelves. "Thankfully, almost everything we need right now is small stuff. Circuit boards and some other things," she explained stopping just inside of the door. She did something on her omnitool and then each of ours beeped in turn.

I looked down, flipping open the message and scanning the contents of the short list and looked up. _What the hell is a "hydronic cyclo-capacitor"? Tali, I think you might have missed a memo or three. _

"Ken and Micah, most everything on yours should be … over that direction, I think. We'll meet back once we find everything, okay?"

"Aye aye, ma'am," Ken assured and I nodded.

I waited till we were mostly out of earshot before I leaned a little closer to Ken. "She does realize I haven't got a clue about how any of this works, right?"

"Why do you think I'm here?" he retorted. "Come on, lets make this quick."

We spent the next ten minutes picking things off the shelves at his direction, setting them into the basket I had purloined from one of the aisles. Tali hadn't been lying when she said almost everything on the list had been small items. We got two thirds of the way through the list and hadn't managed to fill the basket.

"I feel like I'm grocery shopping for computer parts." I noted as I picked up and looked at small piece of metal, flipping it over in my hand. Copper lines glimmered on the opposite side, some kind of circuit board built into it. I put it back.

Ken added a pair of small, dark, metallic cylinders to the basket. "Not a bad comparison. Normally we would just have the parts delivered, but I think Tali wanted to be sure nothing had been tampered with. I'm not sure how she found this place, but it's like some kind of surplus shopping."

"For spaceships and computers," I deadpanned. "Do you realize how weird that sounds to me?"

"At least we aren't attempting to get what we need a junkyard." He pointed out then turned back to the shelf. He looked over the contents and his face screwed up in a scowl. "Blast. They only have the C-335's."

He opened his omnitool, flipping open a message screen, then scowled again. "Damn it. Not getting a signal. You?"

I set the basket down and opened mine, frowning as the indicator in the corner flickered a "no signal" warning. "Nope. That's odd, right?"

"Eh, maybe, maybe not. Probably get it back if step over in another aisle with our luck. Wait here, I'll go find the boss and see if she thinks we can adapt these to what we want or if we are going to have to make a special trip somewhere."

"Alright. I'll try to not touch anything too expensive and breakable," I said and turned to look over my list and compare it to the names on the shelves. Maybe I would be lucky and find one on my own.

_And maybe pigs will fly, but hey, who knows. _

I had been standing there five minutes maybe, comparing two packages of cable, trying to decide if they were the kind Tali wanted, when I heard footsteps come around the corner. "What did she say?" I asked without looking up.

"Can I help you find something?"

I jumped at the unfamiliar female voice, my head snapping up and around to find its source. I relaxed a bit when I saw her standing a few feet away. Red short sleeved shirt, khaki pants, name tag proclaiming her name to be "Amy." Blonde hair cut short so it curled just under her chin and framed her jaw, with bright green-gold eyes that looked just a bit too exotic to be entirely natural.

"Uh, hi," I managed. "Yeah, I guess. I was trying to figure out if either of these was the one I was looking for." I held up the two packages, then gestured at my open omnitool. "Though, I'm not exactly qualified to make decisions on this front."

"Well, let's see what we've got," she said confidently and stepped closer, looking over my shoulder at the list, then at the packages in my hand. She took one and frowned at it. "Not this one. The other might work, but it doesn't look right. Follow me. I think I know where the one you want is."

She headed back the way she came, and I set down the other package and followed her as she began to wind her way farther into the store. "Things are a bit of a mess around here. We started reorganizing things a while back, and haven't finished." She called back over her shoulder at me.

"I know that feeling," I said, thinking of the myriad of personal projects that I had never finished. Emphasis on had there, as I doubted that any of them had survived my MIA status.

After the fourth turn down an even farther aisle, I started to get uneasy and slowed, looking around. Amy noticed my hesitation and stopped, looking back, waiting as I looked back and forth. "You know, I think I should probably go find my friend. He's the one who really knows what we're looking for."

"Oh. I mean, we can, but it's just right here. Let's grab it, then we can go find him." She took two steps farther, but stopped again when I didn't immediately follow.

I felt my eyes narrow slightly as I looked at her again, really looked this time. She'd been the only employee aside from the guard and clerk at the door, so I didn't have a comparison, but despite her seeming knowledge of the store, the more I looked at her, the more I just couldn't see her as store clerk or stock girl. She moved to smoothly, too gracefully.

A spike of sudden panic thrummed through me as I recognized the danger. Amy moved like Miranda did, a cat on the prowl. And she had been hunting me.

_Ooooooh crap. Crap crap crap. _

I took a pair of steps back, my eyes not leaving hers. I saw when her face shifted from a pleasant helpful mask to a flat calculating expression, and her voice shifted subtly, the hint of an accent that hadn't been there before reappearing. "Ah. I'm not here to hurt you, you have my word."

"Who are you?" I asked, not looking away from her. She didn't move or try and get closer, just stood there.

"My name is Alice Wake. I work for Cerberus."

My heart sped up again, hammering in my chest and my mouth went dry. Not good at all. "What do you want?"

She looked down and then back, taking me in. "To find out who you are and where you came from. You don't exist in any records we can locate. You just appeared out of nowhere with Shepard's crew at Omega, and that is interesting."

I opened my mouth to answer, or ask another question but didn't get a chance.

"There you are," said Miranda, her heels clicking on the floor, her voice clipped and annoyed. "You were supposed to wait for Mr. Donnelly, and not go running off on your own. What were you—" She stopped mid-sentence as she reached my side and looked down the aisle at Alice.

Then Miranda went for her gun.

The heavy sidearm came up, but Alice hadn't waited for her to line up the shot, instead ducking around the corner and disappearing from sight. A second later her voice called out from behind her cover, this with derision. "Miranda. I guess I know what gave me away just now."

"What are you doing here, Alice?" Miranda said as she side stepped, putting her back against the same rack of shelves Alice had disappeared behind and glancing down the other aisle. I backed away and crouched down, my heart still hammering like a subwoofer.

"I'm just here to talk. If I had wanted to hurt him, I had more than enough of an opportunity to, and you know it."

Miranda looked over at me then back down the aisle. "I don't see we have a lot to talk about, Alice. I don't work for The Illusive Man anymore."

"How about we both put our guns down and agree to have a nice civil talk. We can always fall back to shooting each other later."

Miranda hesitated, her expression pensive before she called. "You first."

A moment later something slid into the middle of the aisle at the far end. I peeked around the corner till I could see it: a small silver handgun. Miranda slowly lowered her gun but didn't drop it and stepped around the corner.

I caught a glimpse of Alice peeking around the corner before she called down the aisle. "You expect me to trust you not to shoot me? Put it down."

Miranda's mirthless laugh echoed through the warehouse. "No, Alice. I don't trust The Illusive Man, and I don't trust you. Say what you you came to say, then we are leaving. And if you, or Lewis, try to follow us, I will kill you both."

Alice stood and very slowly stepped back out into the aisle, her hands raised in a placating manner. "Shouldn't make promises you can't keep Miranda."

The _Normandy's_ XO narrowed her eyes, her gun hand shifting just ever so slightly. "What do you want, Alice."

"The Illusive Man wanted you to know that we had nothing to do with the attacks on the _Normandy_ or its crew that occurred on Omega. He attempted to contact you directly, however you have not been returning his calls. He also wanted me to tell you that despite your decision to destroy the base with Commander Shepard, you are welcome to come back to the fold."

Miranda flinched at the last words. "Is that everything?" she demanded, looking side to side, but never letting Alice leave her sight.

"That, and information on your guest that you picked up on the Collector Base. We know he wasn't registered as a colonist. He isn't registered, well, anywhere." Alice turned her gaze on me, cold and calculating. "Anyone that the Collectors were interested in is of interest to Humanity. And seeing as the base was destroyed and any information they might have had gone …." She let the words hang in the air.

I looked at Miranda, the lump of fear in my stomach settling like a stone there as I wondered if she would turn sides. She met my eyes, her own unfocused slightly as if she wrestled with her own decision. For a moment, I swear, I thought she would do it.

_I don't wanna be a lab experiment! _

"No, Alice," she finally said, turning back to face the other woman. "I'm out. Don't come near any of us again." Miranda jerked her chin at me, and I stood, still gripping the basket in a white-knuckled grip.

"Fine. Don't bother paying at the register, it's already been covered," said Alice, her voice cool and detached. She lowered her hands as we backed away, and only as we started to move out of sight did she slowly lean down and recover her weapon.

"Come on, we're leaving right now," Miranda hissed, tension tight in her voice.

"No argument from me. Who was that?" My heart hammered a staccato beat in my chest as we bolted towards the door.

"Someone I hoped never to run into again, and who you better do your best to avoid."

Gulp. I lengthened my strides to keep pace with her, looking back over my shoulder every few feet. "I'm never getting off the _Normandy_, ever again."


	14. Chapter 14 - Harm

_**Trigger Warning: **This chapter contains elements of self-harm and/or suicide. If you are sensitive on either topic, please, don't feel obligated to read this chapter._

* * *

><p>"So Miranda drew her weapon in the bloody store, but <em>didn't<em> shoot?" Ken demanded as we walked up the ramp towards the _Normandy's _airlock.

I looked back over my shoulder where Thane and Miranda stood, talking in hushed tones of their own, before I answered Ken. "Yeah. For a moment there, I didn't know what she was going to do, though that might have just been the panic talking."

"And this is why you don't get to go anywhere alone," the redhaired engineer said sagely before he slugged me on the arm..

"Oh, bite me." I looked around as we stepped into the CIC and hesitated. A dozen crew members clustered over various stations,all of them looking extremely busy, several of them running back and forth. "Um. We are docked and landed, right?"

Ken hesitated as well, then looked back at Tali. "Uh, boss? Did we miss a memo?"

The quarian woman did her own once-over of the CIC. I could hear the frown in her voice when she did speak. "I don't … I mean, no one's said anything to me."

"Tali!" We both turned at Joker's voice, seeing him limp across the CIC straight for us. "Tali, thank God. I've been trying to call you on the comms, but the _Normandy_, EDI …" The pilot waved at us, his expression worried, almost on the edge of panic.

"Slow down. What's going on?" Tali asked, reaching and touching shoulder. "We just got back."

"Something happened with EDI. She started acting odd, then said she was losing control of the _Normandy_. Then half our systems cut out entirely. Comms, Navigation, Sensors. Like someone pulled the plug. We don't know what's going on."

I looked between them as they spoke, my gut twisting. EDI had been disabled on top of interference with the rest of _Normandy's_ systems?

_You know, if I was paranoid …._

"Alright, I'm on it." Tali stepped past us all, and paused, turning back to him. "Don't worry. She'll be fine, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Joker replied. He slumped, some of the fight taken out of him. "Mind if I come watch? I've got nothing better to do."

"Sure," Tali said, her voice warm. She reached out, putting one of her long-fingered hands on his elbow.. "Maybe you'll see something I don't."

We made our way to the elevator and started down, but I punched the button for the crew deck, then passed Joker the parcel I had been carrying. "Here. I need to check in with Chakwas. Lemme know if you guys need me for anything."

Joker nodded, and as the doors opened, I stepped out. They closed behind me with a hollow thump, and I felt my mood sink. I didn't really need to see Chakwas. I really had nothing I needed to do, but I would just be in the way in engineering.

I let my mind wander a bit as I turned toward Medical, flashing back to Alice the Cerberus Agent, and what she had said. The fact that they found me "interesting" didn't sit well.

"I don't think I like being interesting," I muttered to myself. I rounded the corner towards the bathrooms and had to sidestep quickly to avoid crashing into someone. "Sorry! Sorry, I didn't see you."

Jenny looked up, nearly as oblivious as I had been. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention either." She brushed a hand across her face, tucking stray blonde strands back behind her ear. "This is becoming a habit."

"Apparently." I trailed off, looking at her. Jenny looked exhausted, dark rings under her eyes. "Haven't seen you much the last couple days."

"Just staying busy," she said with a little shrug. "Little bit rough and all that, you know?" She seemed to gather herself. "Speaking of busy though, I need to go check something. But we'll talk later?"

"Yeah, sure. How about supper tonight?."

Jenny looked away, then back to me and nodded. "Sure. About 1600?"

"Works for me." I watched her hurry away, her head ducked, her eyes on the floor. Something about her stance bothered me. I turned, looking at her retreating back trying to place the feeling. But she turned the corner and disappeared from sight, leaving that uneasy feeling to settle into the pit of my stomach.

_Talk to her tonight. No need to stress about it till then._

I turned back towards Medical, pushing the uncomfortable feeling down, the doors sliding open and closed as I stepped inside. In the corner, Gabby lay in her bed, reading from a data pad. She raised one hand in greeting, but didn't look up for more than a moment. Dr. Chakwas knelt over her computer, reading something on the screen then doing something on a datapad. She looked up when I entered.

"Hey Doc. How's it going down here?" I tried to keep my tone light, though by now the stress from earlier had started to drain away. If someone had simply grabbed me and wrung the energy from me, it would have had the same effect.

"Well, I assume you've already heard about EDI. Aside from that, nothing of importance here. What can I do for you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Just feeling like I'm in the way. Was kind of hoping maybe you and Mordin had something new about my … ah, condition I guess?"

Chakwas set her datapad down, looking up at me. "A little, though not as much as I would like. As I said before, the majority of the changes seem to be to your brain chemistry, but that's only part of it." She stood and walked over to one of the empty beds and activated a the hologram like what I had seen her use when Gabby's heart had stopped. The image floated there, but this time, it showed me. She pointed to the holographic representation of my head. "You brain activity is slightly elevated, specifically in areas that we normally associate with learning and retention of information. It's very similar to what I would expect to see in someone with a photographic memory." She looked at me expectantly.

I shook my head. "Sorry, nope. To be honest, my memory is actually fairly poor I think unless I really work at keeping something there."

She nodded, then pointed down to my hip on the hologram. "The other thing of note is your recovery speed. I had expected your injury from the attack on Omega to have you recovering for an additional week to be where you are now, if not longer."

I blinked at that and looked back at her. "I had chalked it up to fancy future healing medication. I mean, it's still sore, but I just assumed you did it."

"We have made great strides in medicine, but there is only so far we can push the human body. I had to remove two pieces of shrapnel from your side, one of which had actually embedded in the bone there. I can barely tell that the bone there was even damaged. It's actually quite remarkable."

I stared at the hologram, trying to parse that information. "Okay. So my brain is officially a little wonky, and I'd make the Guinness Book of World Records for healing. Why?"

She spread her hands. "I don't know. Without a baseline prior to your abduction, it's hard to be sure the extent of any alterations, let alone why. I can tell you that the altered brain chemistry isn't only in your learning centers, though neither myself or Mordin can be sure precisely what the effects are. And Kelly assures me that you are acting and reacting to everything in a manner that is very consistent with your circumstances, or at least as much as she can tell."

I didn't try to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, my automatic reaction to the fear that welled up. "Oh good. I'm no crazier than normal. That's something."

_Don't be an asshole. _

I took a deep breath, and let it out, letting the tension go with it. "Sorry. Just thinking about this makes me nervous."

"I can't say I would be reacting any differently." Doctor Chakwas closed down the hologram. "Unfortunately, that's all I can tell you for now though."

I puffed out a breath. "I suppose I should get out of your hair. Thanks again."

"It's quite alright. I'll be here if you need me, and I'm sure Ms. Daniels wouldn't mind some company later," she said, waving one hand in the general direction of Gabby's bed.

"If I can't find some other way to be productive, I'll be back," I said and started from the room, waving back to Gabby. She looked up and returned the wave, smiling faintly.

I stepped out into the mess and paused. The pit in my stomach kept rolling and twisting and looked back towards where I had last seen Jenny. She had been troubled about something, that had been obvious. But something about it didn't feel right. I frowned and took a step towards the direction she had gone.

"Micah!"

I stopped mid-step, and turned at my name, feeling my shoulders easing the tension away. "Kelly, hey."

Kelly hurried over from across the room, stopping just in front of me, looking up to meet my eyes. Worry stretched her face. "I heard there was some excitement today. Are you okay?"

"Less excitement. More just general stress." I shrugged, trying for nonchalance. "I've had worse outings. Lots of fast walking on this one, that's all."

Kelly's eyes narrowed slightly. "So you didn't almost end up in a gunfight?"

_Danger, Will Robinson, Danger._

"Well, I mean, Miranda might have theoretically thought about shooting the fake shop clerk, but she didn't. We made it back fine. She just wanted to talk." I shuffled in place, my heart thumping a little faster.

"Uh-huh," Kelly said, not looking away. She shifted a half step closer and looking up at me. "And who was she?"

I felt my face heat up a bit and glanced away, not sure why I did, or what I had to be embarrassed about. "Alice something. Wake? And Miranda said something about someone named Lewis."

Kelly took a step back and her face, her cheeks having reddened at some point in our conversation, suddenly lost all color. "Alice Wake?"

My embarassment flash-burned away as I recognized the fear in Kelly's expression. "You know her?"

"Of her. She … well, if Miranda was the Illusive Man's right hand. Alice was his left. And she has a partner. Lewis Cowl who … if the rumors are true, I don't want to meet. Ever.." Kelly shivered, rubbing her arms with her hands and looked down at the floor.

I stepped up, one hand reaching up and squeezing her elbow in what I hoped was comfort. "She just wanted to talk. She wanted to know who I was, she wanted to know why the Collectors had me, and she wanted Miranda to hand over everything from the base. Miranda said no, we left. That's it." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hadley go by. He nodded at us, but kept walking, raising a hand at someone at the elevator.

She looked up, then nodded. "And you're all back here, so it's fine." She looked away and then back. "I should go. I was looking for Jenny actually."

The pit in my stomach reappeared, and I looked at her. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, or I mean, I think so. She's … well, she's upset still, but she's dealing. Why?" Kelly asked, frowning at me.

"Huh. Something felt off when I bumped into her earlier, like something was bothering her. I was getting ready to go look for her myself." I said, my eyes tracking toward the lounge. I looked back at Kelly. "Mind a tagalong?"

"Uh, no, not at all," she said, pushing off the wall.

She started to turn in the opposite direction, and I reached out, catching her arm and pulling her to stop. She looked back, startled, but didn't pull away, letting me guide her back the direction I had last seen Jenny. "This way, I think. I ran into her before I stopped by Medical."

She matched my step and actually leaned in to bump my shoulder. I smiled and leaned back, giving her a little bump in return. She smiled, looking a little tired, but seemed to enjoy the distraction. She suddenly stopped. "Oh! I almost forgot, I've got something for you."

My smile widened into a grin. "Oh? Now I'm curious."

The blush from earlier returned, tinting her cheeks pink as we stepped into the lounge. "It's just something small, that's all."

I started to respond, something witty coming to mind, but the thought and words died on my lips as we stepped into a scene from one of my worst nightmares.

I blinked, the analytical side of my mind taking in the scene in a rapid flash of details. Jenny lay on her side, fair skin gone pallid. Her datapad lay a few feet away, the screen blinking erratically. Scarlet pulsed weakly from a pair of horizontal slashes, one on each wrist, staining the floor in blood.

The emotional side, on the other hand, started screaming and clawing at the walls.

_No. no no no no. Don't be dead. You are not dead, I won't allow it._

I hurled myself forward, clipping the couch in my haste. Pain rippled up my shin, but I kept going. I dropped to my knees clamping my hands down over the wounds in a white-knuckled hold, trying to halt the flow of blood, my eyes frantically looking for anything I could use as a bandage.

Behind me, Kelly hadn't been idle either."Medical Emergency, Starboard Lounge!"

A couple of seconds later she landed on her knees next to me, the blankets from the couch in her hand. We worked automatically, wrapping Jenny's slashed wrists as booted feet pounded into the room behind us. I looked up for just a second, catching Kelly's eye. Fear coiled under the surface, but she held it in check. I don't know if I can say the same for me or not.

_Not another one. No. Not again. _

Blood, sticky and warm covered my hands and soaked my knees. My stomach churned and roiled, turned over again. I pressed down, keeping pressure on Jenny's wrist. Distantly, I knew it had to hurt, but she didn't move other than a small flutter of her eyelids: the only sign Jenny still held on to life.

I left one hand on her arm, the other reached up, touching Jenny's face. Her skin was cold, and my heart skipped a beat as if the chill had sank into it. "No, no, no. You stay with us. Who else am I going to stumble into around here and not get yelled at for it? Come on, stay with us."

"Make a hole!" someone shouted behind me. A hand slapped my shoulder and I wobbled to the side, keeping my hands on the makeshift bandage as I tried to make room.

Doctor Chakwas slid down, omnitool extended, the orange glow from the device tinting Jenny's blood so that it looked black. Concern flooded her expression as she looked at the results, then at us. "Ms. Chambers, Mr. Moore. Step back. We'll take care of her."

I moved as instructed, automatically reacting to the command, putting my back to the wall. I tried to fight my way past the shock, swimming uphill against the waves of ice that tried to drag me back down as I watched as Chakwas kneel over Jenny. The _Normandy's _physician stripped the makeshift bandage away with a quick, efficient motion, and tore open a small package, smearing some of its contents-a quick-drying gel-over the slices. Kelly settled next to me, and we watched in dazed silence as Dr. Chakwas and Jacob repeated the process on Jenny's other arm. The burly armory officer lifted Jenny like she weighed nothing, and then him and Chakwas carried her from room, pushing past the handful of other onlookers who had peeked in to see the cause of the commotion.

I don't know when I started crying. Kelly shifted closer so that we were shoulder to shoulder. I glanced over at her tear-stained face and reached over, putting an arm around her shoulders. Tears trickled down my cheeks as we sat there, seeking the comfort of just being close to someone. Kelly sobbed and leaned against me and I held on just as hard.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong>As an author, I find it hard to write some scenes, like this last one. I think I wrote six versions of everything that happened after leaving Medical, for this chapter, before I settled on this version. And even then I needed a considerable amount of help from several people begin to properly evoke the image I was trying to set. I was extremely unhappy even after completing it, even though I have several reasons for how and why I let the story take this course. I hope you all stick with me while this story-arc runs, and I will do my best to not disappoint. _


	15. Chapter 15 - Focus

As Kelly and I sat together, the shock slowly drained out of me, slithering away to be replaced by simple weariness. Neither of us spoke. The words weren't really needed right now. She leaned against me, and I leaned back. A simple, "I'm here. You're not alone," that didn't need words to convey.

I opened my eyes, my gaze falling to the blood that stained the floor; the same blood that covered my hands, that stained my clothes. I shivered, looking down at myself as the horrible intimacy of being covered in a friend's blood sank over me. "We should get cleaned up," I said, the words hollow in the empty room.

"Yeah. Someone will be coming back to check on us," she said. Kelly didn't move though, and I didn't either. The prospect of standing up seemed just too massive.

The door to the lounge opened-hissing in the way all the doors on the _Normandy_ seemed to-and admitted Hadley and Sarah Patel.

The two paused in the doorway, both looking paler than usual. Hadley hid it better, but Sarah's tan skin lightened a few shades as she took in the scene.

"_Ashai_ … are you two alright?" Sarah breathed as she looked us over. "We heard …."

"We're okay." Kelly started to push herself to her feet. "Just …." She stopped and looked down at herself, her expression turning a little green. "I think I want to shower."

Sarah raised a small bundle of clothes in her hand. "We thought you might. Come on. The commander is back, but you might have time to to change before he starts asking questions."

Hadley raised his own bundle at me, the slightly ill expression on his face seeming even more out of place. "Got you some as well."

I sighed, a little ache in my shoulders banished by the prospect of getting clean. "Thanks, Hadley."

"No problem." The other man shifted in place, doing everything he could to avoid looking

I started to take a step forward to follow Kelly, and glass crunched under my foot. I focused on the source; Jenny's datapad, or at least a piece of it. I stopped, staring down at the damaged tablet. Had it been damaged before they got there? Or had someone stepped on it and broke it in the frantic bid to save Jenny's life? I leaned down, picking it up. The device didn't flicker to life. I ran a finger down the long crack through the middle of the screen, tracing the damage to where the corner fragmented into a fractal pattern.

I looked up at the others, holding it up. "Could this still work, or the data get pulled off it?"

Hadley frowned, slowly shaking his head. "I don't know. It's pretty messed up."

"It's not that bad," Sarah said. "And the data stick looks to be intact. Screen's probably done for, but the data might be okay." She shot a confused look at Hadley then back to me. "What's on there?"

I didn't answer, just stared at the datapad, thinking. I raised my head as I felt eyes on me.

"Oh … that's Jenny's," Sarah said as realization hit her after a moment. The fact seemed to shake her even more.

I nodded but didn't elaborate further. We left the lounge, although as we did, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had missed something important.

The elevator opened with a ding, and Ken strode out and turned towards us, freezing midstep, his mouth open in shock. "Bloody hell. How is she?"

I didn't have an answer, but Sarah saved me from having to come up with something. "She's with Dr. Chakwas. We don't know more than that right now."

Ken peered at us, his focus on Kelly and me, looking down at the blood. "What bloody well happened?"

A voice in my head screamed obscenities as it clawed at the memories only a few minutes old. I offered him the datapad, fingers shaking as I did. "We don't know. This might have a clue though."

He took it, his face troubled even more by that. He inspected it, shifting his grip away from a spot where blood stained the glass. "I'll check it out." Ken lowered his hand, the pad hanging from his fingers, confusion and concern on his face. "Are you two alright?"

I didn't answer at first, trying to sort out exactly what I felt. The mishmash of guilt and tension didn't really give me any room to think though, and I finally nodded. I didn't believe it myself. I don't think Ken did either, but he let it slide

Sarah and Kelly vanished into the women's bathroom. Hadley followed me as I entered the men's side just long enough to leave the clothes he brought me. He set them down and made his retreat, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I stood in the shower, hot water spilling down over my head as I leaned against the wall, trying to let the water wash away the tension, the guilt, the anger. What had I missed? Jenny had been upset, something bothering her, but I would never have jumped to suicide. It didn't make sense to me.

_When does it? Did it make sense with Lee? You didn't see that one, either._

I slapped an open hand on the wall in frustration. I hadn't see Lee in years, had barely talked to him since graduation. But could I have helped him? Could one conversation then have been the difference? Could I have said something now that would have have prevented this?

The uncertainty gnawed at the back of my mind like a rat trying to get at a tasty morsel. What good am I if I can't see what's right in front of me?

_What if there was nothing to see?_

That thought made me pause for a moment, considering it as I turned off the water and reached for the towel. I started to dry off, talking to myself. "What if there was nothing to see? What if, it wasn't what it looked like?"

I rolled the idea around in my head, examining it as I pulled on clothes. Was that possible? Could someone else have done that to Jenny? But why? What motivation would there have been?

_What was the motivation for setting off a bomb and sending people to kill everyone?_

The door to the bathroom opened, chasing me out of my reverie as Hadley peeked in. "Commander just arrived and he wants to talk to you and Kelly. Miranda's office, five minutes ago."

* * *

><p>"No, sir, I stand by my evaluation. Jenny Goldstein was, in my opinion, in a stable emotional state, and should not have been under any closer observation," Kelly said, her tone crisp, even angry. "At least, sir, no more than any other members of this crew."<p>

I leaned back against the wall of Miranda's office, only tertiarily involved in the conversation at that point. Shepard and Miranda had us recount what had happened, how we had found Jenny. They hadn't kicked me out, so I took the chance to study Shepard, Miranda, and our latest addition, Dr. Liara T'Soni.

"And yet, evidence to the contrary seems to say otherwise," Shepard said, his arms crossed, his tone flat and hard. He didn't sit, but stood just to the side of Miranda's desk, looming over Kelly as she sat rigid in front of him.

I bit down the urge to say something, the pulse of irritation radiating through me. The great and impressive Commander Shepard didn't seem so great at the moment.

Dr. T'Soni looked to be perfectly at ease as she stood behind Commander Shepard, observing the conversation but clearly lending her support to him. The asari's expression gave nothing away of her mood or opinion on the matter, but the way she stood proclaimed where her loyalty lay.

"Jenny was grieving, yes, but so are several other members of the crew. She's been working hard as a distraction, and she's not been sleeping well. But she exhibited no signs that she would attempt to take her own life. Frankly, yesterday I would have said she was improving," Kelly objected, looking first at Shepard, then to Miranda.

"Then you missed something," Shepard insisted. "Unless there is another explanation for her injuries?"

Kelly shut her mouth, frustration evident at not having a clear answer for him.

Dr. T'Soni touched Shepard's elbow. "As distressing as the circumstances are, we still can not afford any delays. We need to depart as soon as possible before more obstacles are thrown in our path."

Shepard's face fell, the exhaustion he'd been holding off suddenly written all over his face. He reached up, rubbed his brow, and sighed. "I know. We'll launch as soon as we get clearance." Shepard turned and looked at Miranda. "I want to meet with everyone to go over the plan once we are at FTL. Pass the word, please."

"Of course, Commander." Miranda said. Liara and Shepard both nodded as they left. Kelly started to rise as well, but Miranda waved her back down.

Kelly sat back in her chair, her posture rigid. I moved from my spot on the wall and sat down in the other chair, my own irritation simmering in the back of my mind. No one spoke till the door of Miranda's office slid shut.

Miranda folded her hands and leaned on her desk, looking between us. "I wanted to ask a few questions, if that's alright."

Kelly blew out a long sigh. "What else is there to say, ma'am? I've been keeping an eye on her as best I can, but she really has been improving. I can't blame her for being upset, I'm upset and I didn't even know Paul that well."

Miranda nodded. "Well, lets try and take it a step at time. What are we missing here?"

"What if we aren't missing anything? What if it's not what it seems to be?" I asked into the momentary silence. "Suicidal individuals don't make plans for the future. They tie up loose ends, right?"

Kelly glanced at me, her expression thoughtful. "It's one of the larger warning signs. Not the only one, but still. Why?"

"We had made plans to get supper, so we could talk tonight. I'd barely spoken to her since Omega and … everything." I waved one hand absently, my frustration leaking into my tone. "It just seems wrong. And the only thing I keep thinking is that it _is_ wrong somehow."

Miranda's face took a pensive cast before she turned and looked at Kelly. "How certain are you that Ms. Goldstein's' injuries were not self-inflicted?"

Kelly hesitated a moment, picking her words with care. "As certain as I can be until I can talk to her or Dr. Chakwas."

"Perhaps I am simply being suspicious, but the timing of this incident seems a little too coincidental for my tastes." Miranda drummed her fingers on the desk. "With EDI offline, some of our security measures are down as well. It's unlikely, but it's possible someone could have boarded the _Normandy_."

"I know there are all kinds of crawl spaces, but wouldn't we have noticed some stranger running around? I mean, I've been on here less than two weeks, and I'm pretty sure I can tell who belongs and who doesn't," I pointed out, shifting around for a slightly more comfortable position in the seat.

"Have you ever seen Kasumi around the ship, anywhere at all besides when she's spoken to you?" Miranda asked, a small smile sneaking onto her face.

I paused, trying to remember the time had I seen her.

_You know, now that she points that out, the only times I have seen Kasumi have been when she's talked to me. Hell, even Grunt has to eat and comes wandering through the mess sometimes. I've seen him more than I have her. And we are in space, with aliens, and technologies and …._

"Oh. Well, crap," I said, feeling myself flush, plastering my embarrassment all over my face. "Active Camouflage?" .

"In part. And there are other ways," Miranda said. Her smile faded, replaced again with a thoughtful expression. "I'll begin a security sweep and advise the commander. I want you two to keep this to yourselves for now. Until we know more, I want everything to seem to be business as usual."

"Yes, ma'am," Kelly said, standing. I followed suit, nodding in acquiescence, following her out as we exited the office.

She looked over at the windows that allowed observers to see into Medical, wrapping her arms around herself.

My eyes following her gaze. Doctor Chakwas and Mordin stood together. Jenny lay unmoving next to them, bandages wrapped around her hands and wrists, her head lolling to one side in sleep. "She'll be fine," I murmured just low enough she'd hear me.

Kelly rubbed the side of her neck like she was trying to work out a sore muscle. "Dr. Chakwas is one of the best trauma physicians I've seen. I'm just stressed, and need a sleep."

"A sleep?" I asked, catching her verbal mis-step. I couldn't help the teasing note that snuck into my voice. "I don't have one of those, but I could offer a caffeine as a substitute."

Kelly smiled wanly at me and shook her head. "Later. I need to go talk Dr. Chakwas to see when Jenny will wake up. I want to be there when they bring her around. Want to join me?"

I thought about it for a moment. I liked being around Kelly, but I shook my head as I remembered Jenny's datapad. "Later maybe. I'm going to go bother Ken for a bit, I think."

"Alright." She hesitated, looking away. "Just do me a favor, and don't be the next Medical Emergency, please?"

My mouth dried up at at that, and when I answered, my voice barely reached above a whisper. "Same goes for you."

She nodded, glancing around the empty room. The _Normandy _felt like a ghost ship whose crew had abandoned her, the lights dimmed for the night cycle. Even the air carried a sinister feel now. Nothing had changed, just my perception of it. And yet the feeling of being watched didn't go away.

I gave her a gentle push towards Medical. "I'll come find you in a while."

She nodded, and headed for doors. I turned, vanishing around the corner towards the elevator, my mind treating me to the image of Kelly laying on the floor, bleeding out like Jenny had. The mental image shook me, and I glanced around, the thought of some invisible predator swooping down on her, or on me, setting my teeth on edge as I waited for the elevator doors to open. When they did open, I stepped inside quickly and mashed the down button.

The doors had almost completely closed when a hand jammed its way between them, stopping them from sealing.

I nearly jumped out of my skin, my heart jumping up into my throat. The doors dinged and sprang back open and I put my back to the wall. Hadley started, reacting as he saw me.

I swallowed, my heart hammering for several long seconds as the other man stepped into the elevator. I nodded at him, frantically trying to conceal my own tension.

He looked at me, an odd expression of concern. "You alright? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine." I reached past him, punching the button that would carry us down to Engineering. "Just frustrated, that's all."

"I can get that. I mean, you know, with Jenny … trying to commit suicide." He swallowed, the sickly expression sliding over his features again.

It turned into an effort of will to keep my face in something like a neutral mask. I nodded, then looked away, focusing on the control console for the elevator. "Yeah. Kind of messes with things, you know."

"Yeah." Hadley says. The silence in the elevator grew, welling up like some kind of horror movie monster, waiting to strike. I actually flinched when the doors dinged open on to the Engineering deck, and I bolted into the corridor the moment the doors opened. I shot a glance at Hadley, but he shook his head. "Next floor. I'll catch you later."

The doors shut a moment later, cutting me off from him. Some of my tension flowed away with it, and I leaned against the railing, letting the wave of fatigue play over me.

_Is it paranoia if they are really out to get you? _

Cold chills ran from my legs, to my arms, and back down, a pulse of nervous energy that threatened to take my balance for a moment after the doors closed. I shivered doing everything I could to fight off the momentary panic.

_I am not in a horror movie. I did not just go walking off alone to get picked off by the serial killer. Nope, I am just fine. _

I turned around looked down into the cargo hold, my hands tightening on the metal railing in a white knuckled grip for several seconds. I let out a breath, and eased up on my grip, focusing on the the tingling sensation as the blood flooded back into my hand.

Foot steps, seeming deliberately loud on the metal floor grating caused me to look up. Thane paced down the deck plating, out of the corner of my eye. The moment I looked up at him, the sound of his footsteps seemed to vanish.

_He has to actually try to be loud? That is just freaking ridiculous_.

He stopped a few paces away. "You seem troubled."

I blew out a breath. "Yeah, that's one word for it."

Thane glided closer till he stood next to me, looking down at the cargo bay. He stood tall, clasping his hands behind his back.. "It would be understandable, from what I know of your situation."

I let myself drop till my elbows were on the rail, leaning over it. I started talking, not really thinking about what I said. "You know what the worst part is? It's not the technology, or other species, or even being in space. It's the fear." I took a slow breath. "I've been afraid from nearly the second I woke up. I've relaxed a couple of times, but then it always comes back. And I have no idea how to deal with it."

Thane was silent for several moment. "Fear is an illusion. It is also a waste of valuable energy. All we can do in any given situation is react. If we allow ourselves to believe that fear is real, we paralyze ourselves. If you go out every day afraid that a dog will bite you, but no dog ever does, you have wasted the potential enjoyment of those walks. If a dog does attack you, you will react. Do not fear. Act and react."

I mulled that over and glanced over at him, and I felt a smile twist it's way onto my face. "A dog?"

"A metaphor." Thane answered, mild amusement coloring his tone. "It seemed appropriate."

"I really can't argue with that." I looked down through the glass, watching Hadley as he talked with a crew member whose name I didn't remember. "Thank you." I looked up, but Thane had pulled his disappearing act again. It didn't surprise me this time, and I smiled.

I pushed off the railing and headed towards Engineering, the pressure on my mind not gone, but more manageable.

_Alright. Act and react._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong>That awkward moment when you realize that your SI has actually passed your original ME story. Holy crap. XD I'm glad you all enjoy this, and I hope you continue you to do so! Thanks for the support!_

_**A/N 2: **Well, that's embarrassing. I loaded the wrong Chapter up. I'm sure almost every author has done it on here at some point, but still. XD Thanks to Thellton for catching and letting me know of the goof! _


	16. Chapter 16 - Breathless

"Are you tryin' to get yourself electrocuted, man!?"

I sighed and pulled myself out from under the console just far enough that I could peer up at Ken. I spoke slowly, enunciating my words as though I were speaking to a small-and slightly slow-child. "That was exactly where you showed me." I gestured to the spot I had been reaching for.

"Your other hand! You about grabbed the secondary uplink. Had you got both at the same time, you'd end up crispier than my last attempt at cooking," Ken growled at me. "Why are you here? Did Gabby send you down here to give me a heart attack?"

"If Gabby had wanted me to send you up to Medical, she'd have me break your other arm," I said as I rolled my eyes and slid back under the console, being sure to keep my left hand even farther away from the exposed uplink this card in my hand clicked into place and I felt a wave of satisfaction roll through me as the lights on the main board all winked to green. "There. The trained monkey put the card in the slot. Now what?"

Ken rolled his eyes back at me and touched a panel in the wall, scanning on the readout as it scrolled by. "Well, we might eventually make you useful around here after all," Ken said with a pleased nod. "Assuming you don't cook yourself, that is."

"I wasn't anywhere near touching it the first time," I grumbled back as I pulled myself to my feet. I wiped my hands on my pants and paused as I looked down at the uniform. It still felt odd to be wearing anything like this.

"And then you go and say somethin' brainless like that. You don't have the proper respect for the _Normandy_'s electronics yet," Ken huffed, his eyes still on the panel. He froze a moment, then expanded a line of code. "Well, hello there. What are you?"

I leaned in, looking over his shoulder, but couldn't make sense of the block of code that filled the screen. "What are we looking at?"

"That … is a very good question. Pull that card again," he said absently. He spun towards me as I knelt, his eyes wide and panicked. "And don't forget to disenga—"

"To disengage the circuit breaker lock. And to wait for the indicator lights to turn off. " I leaned down, watching the green lights fade to black one by one. "I was listening, you know."

"You could've fooled me." Ken said, his tone gruff, but he turned back to the panel. His eyes fixed on the status lines, scanning over the data. He grunted almost the second I pulled the card from the slot. "And there it goes. What the hell are you, and why are you in my power system?"

I leaned out so I could get a better look at him. "What is where, and should I be backing away?"

"Watch your elbow." Ken absently tapped a few more commands with his good hand. "I'm tellin' you, if you bump that uplink, you'll wish you hadn't."

I jerked my arm back-startled that I had let it get that close-and pulled myself out and away from the potenially deadly uplink. My heart hammered in my chest at the rush of adrenaline that zapped through me. "Whoops. Just touching it would cook me?"

"You'll be sayin' whoops. It'd only be really bad if you touched it and some other circuit and bridged the gap. But you'll feel it for, oh, a few days if you bump it," Ken said, smirking. "Didn't I tell you that already?"

"Ha, ha. You're hilarious. Can I put this back yet and get away from the deathtrap?" I grumbled, and carefully moved back under the console.

"Yeah, go ahead," Ken said, bringing up his omnitool and opening a window as he watched the panel.

I fitted the card back into the waiting slot, and closed up console, clicking the magnetic latches in place before I dragged myself out from under it again. "So? What's the problem?"

"There's a program running in the power distribution system, and I don't know what it does. It's labelled as a failsafe, but if I'm reading this correctly, it'll spike power to that card, not reduce it, which just doesn't make any sense." Ken closed the screen on his omnitool and reopened it. "Ma'am, I've got something odd you need to see. Sending it to you now."

"Acknowledged. " Tali's voice sounded small as it projected from Ken's wrist. "What's the short version?"

"Program running in the power control systems. It's not some kind of virus, it's a program update, but it doesn't make sense."

"Okay, give me a moment," Tali said, and then went silent. After just seconds she said something that my omnitool didn't translate. "_Bosh'tet_. I was hoping I was wrong, but that's too many to ignore. Disable that update, and start checking the rest of the power management system. You'll have to do it section by section."

Ken swore under his breath. "I'm on it. What is going on?"

"_That _is what attacked EDI. It looked like a virus at first, but it was going through the firewalls like it had prior access. I think it's some kind of Cerberus failsafe in case someone plugged her into the main systems," Tali explained, speaking rapidly, excitement evident at having finally solved the mystery. "I'll see if Shepard can spare some of the other crew with coding experience to help you. Now we know what we are looking for, hopefully we can get it out of our systems and get EDI back online."

"Understood, ma'am. I'll get right on it." Ken closed down the connection and looked over at me. "Class dismissed. This is gonna take a while. Could you do me a favor and pack that crate up and take it back down to the cargo bay?"

I eyed the heavy crate of assorted equipment. "Yeah, I can manage that. Need anything else after that?"

"You not in my hair," Ken said with a hint of smug amusement. "But seriously, I'll be good here. Maybe you could see if the doc will let Gabby help with the program hunting?"

I nodded and knelt to seal the crate.

_I can pack this up, go check on Jenny and Gabby, and still have time to go see what Kelly's doing before I need to get some sleep._

That thought sent a warm feeling running through me as I stood, and I couldn't help but smile. I barely noticed the crates weight as I made my way down to the cargo bay; passing a couple crew members as I went, not really paying attention to them as I let myself relax. Miranda hadn't found anyone in her security sweep, EDI would be back online soon, and Jenny should wake up at any time. As bad as everything had been in the last few days, maybe the worst was over.

I settled the crate back down in same spot I had retrieved it from before, kneeling to activate the mag locks on its base, locking it to the deck plating.

"Hey, what are you doing?" snapped someone to my left, a voice I didn't recognize.

I jumped out of reflex, startled by the volume and proximity, and I jerked my head to the side to spot the speaker.

Correction, _speakers. _A dozen of the _Normandy's_crew had congregated together and advanced while I had been busy in my own little world.

"Uh, putting this back?" I said, gesturing at the crate.

_What the hell? Do they think I'm gonna make off with something?_

I straightened, my heart racing as I realized that not only had I been mostly surrounded, but none of them seemed to be part of the crew that I normally hung around or spoke with. I hadn't avoided them, but several of them were part of the other crew shifts, so I hadn't met many of them in more than passing. I glanced from face to face, the flinty expressions and hard eyes doing nothing to ease the growing tension in my muscles. Silence stretched, and I shifted, not sure what exactly I should be doing or not doing. I nodded toward the elevator. "I uh, think my ride is here."

I took a step forward. They didn't move. The one in front, a dark-skinned, dark-haired man I remember seeing on the CIC growled at me. "So why'd you do it?"

_Why did I do it? Why did I do what? What the hell am I getting blamed for now, kicking someone's puppy?_

"Feel like clarifying that, or should I start guessing?" I snapped at him before I forced myself back into check.

_Stop smarting off, you idiot, and start thinking of a way out of this!_

The other man's face darkened into a scowl that, if I hadn't known better, seemed to instantly be mirrored by every other crew member there. The dull throb of latent anger was a palpable thing, and I suppressed a shiver as my gaze flicked from person to person, settling on someone I had missed before: the grizzled and scarred veteran of Shepard's ground team

Zaeed snorted as he stepped into the inner circle. "Yeah, clarification. What, did she turn you down? Thought you'd get lucky with Blondie and she didn't play ball? I'm sure that would piss you off, good and proper."

The accusation rolled over, and through me, leaving only stunned shock in its wake for the long seconds it took me to process the mercenary's words. "Excuse me?"

"Not that I could blame you, nice ass on that one. She'd be good for a tumble, probably. But I think you just didn't like getting told no." Zaeed's voice had gone flat, emotionless. "Been hanging around a lot. You were the last one to see Goldstein, and let's not forget your previous little temper tantrum."

As the shock drained out, outrage and anger immediately replaced it, surging up in me in a mirror of those around me. It roared and howled, a gale of disbelief and fury that rolled me forward a step before I even knew I had taken it. I locked onto Zaeed with the focus of a guided missile, my hands clenched into fists. "Massani, I've been a bit busy playing catch up to ask someone on a date. And if you talk about my _friend _like that again, you and I are going to have an issue."

I wish I had a camera right then, because I must have come out a lot more menacing than it felt to me. The man who spoke first looked a bit pale. The ring of off-duty crew took a collective step away and Zaeed's face locked into something that resembled granite, like he was fixing to kick my ass up between my ears. It didn't make a difference to me. Condensed fury boiled in me, begging to be unleashed, to let run rampant, and I held my ground.

_I might be about to get the worst ass kicking of my life, because dear God, he looks like the face of the Devil himself._

Zaeed stepped closer till I could smell the alcohol on his breath, see every twitch of his eye. Fear spiked in me, a moment of uncertainty. This man could kill me. It wouldn't even be particularly hard for him to do it, either. He stared at me, mismatched eyes hard and unyielding, till the only thing in the cargo hold felt like him and me. He didn't whisper, but his voice sounded low and throaty when he did speak. "Ever since you came aboard, you've been nothing but bad luck. From the second they pulled you out of that fucking pod, you've been a fucking albatross on this ship. Samara might have lived, if I had been able to go back for them. But I was covering your sorry ass."

"The way I remember that story, the albatross was good luck, till someone killed it," I said back, the words rolling off my tongue with the ease of memory.

_Thank you, Mal. Now, if I just don't get gutted here, that would be fantastic._

Zaeed leaned in a little closer, his face a mask of cold fury. It took every ounce of control I had not to react. Something in him turned ugly. I could actually see the moment in his eyes when he found the button to push. "No. It's not Goldstein that's got your attention. It's that little redheaded Cerberus bitch. I'd bet you are already scre—"

I didn't let him finish that sentence.

It wasn't much of a hit, but if nothing else, the blow had both speed and surprise going with it. A sucker punch, plain and simple, and it connected on his side, right on the floating rib. Zaeed let out a surprised "ooph", and I cocked my other arm back. The mercenary didn't give me a chance to follow up though, and as my hand came down his own came up, stopping me cold with a practiced ease. His other fist lashed out, and I had a startling moment to reflect on my own stupidity just before he connected under my eye. Stars hammered on the inside of my skull as I reeled back, and I slammed into the wall of crates. I dimly saw Zaeed straightening, stepping forward. I knew I should be moving, but damn, it's hard to move yourself when the world is already spinning.

Behind me- or to the side,I couldn't tell which-a strange sound rang. An electronic, almost musical hiss. I blinked several times and looked up. Zaeed had stopped coming, his advance arrested as he stared to my left. I turned my head looking for whatever had given me my stay of execution.

Kasumi Goto had appeared out of thin air. I stared at her in shock, trying to make my now- bruised brain respond with something coherent.

Shepard's voice rang through the cargo hold with the volume and clarity of a trumpet. "That is quite enough."

I snapped my head that way, and the world swam for a moment before I could focus on the commander of the _Normandy_. Garrus and Miranda flanked him on either side, and behind them Tali leaned against the elevator doors, preventing them from closing.

Shepard strolled forward, the full presence of command in every step, every thump of his boots on the cargo bay floor. The man projected his own gravity well, when it came to attention, and he knew how to use it. I forced myself to straighten and turn to face him, even as his eyes swept over each of us in turn. "Does someone," he said in a quiet, angry voice, "want to explain what is going on here?"

The crew members present shuffled in place, not looking directly at Zaeed, the commander, or me, guilt slathered over them like someone had dunked them in it. I looked over at Zaeed, and the scowl frozen on his face.

Shepard looked around, his face dark. "I knew that there had been some unrest, but I have to admit, I'm disappointed. You, all of you, are better than this. I could understand blowing off a little steam. But if there is anyone to blame for events of the last few weeks, it would be me. And if you have a problem with that, I _expect_you to come to _me_with those problems. Not take them out on someone who couldn't be involved." He looked around and for a moment his face seemed even more grim. "Back to your posts, all of you."

As the crew started to shuffle out, Shepard stuck his arm out, slapping Zaeed in the chest and bringing him up short. "Not you. Garrus, get our guest up to Medical and have that cut taken care of, please."

I blinked and reached up to touch the throbbing spot where Zaeed had hit me, and looked down at my fingers as they came away bloody. Garrus jerked his head toward the elevator, and I followed without a word, slowly feeling the adrenaline and anger slipping out of me. A wave of fatigue replaced the high as I stepped past Tali into the elevator, which she'd held for us. The quarian engineer nodded at us both and stepped clear as as the door slid closed.

I leaned against the wall, listening to my pounding heart slow, leaning my head as my eyes closed.

_Ow. Again._

"You know Zaeed is really good at killing things, right?" Garrus said, not hiding the dry amusement in his voice.

I opened the eye on the side of my face that didn't hurt and peered at him. "How much of that did you see?"

"Just the end, more or less. No idea what made you think throwing a sucker punch was a good idea, but I'd be a bit more careful around Zaeed for the next decade or so." Garrus shook his head. "Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll die of old age before he kills you."

"If you hadn't figured it out, I'm not that lucky," I said as I started to laugh. I stopped as the side of my face throbbed in complaint.

"Mmmm, I'll shut up. I know what it's like to laugh when your face feels like it's ready to fall off." Garrus said, smirking. Or at least, I think it that was a smirk.

_Stupid turian faces._

The elevator sprang open, and I trailed behind Garrus as we turned towards Medical. The door flashed a locked notification over its holographic interface as Garrus reached for the door. "That's odd."

An uneasy feeling slithered through my gut. "The only times I've seen her lock it was when she operated on Gabby."

Garrus went still for a moment, and the unease in me brewed in me like some vile potion. He reached for his omni-tool as I sidestepped to look in the windows. All the beds were empty. Alarm bells went off in my head. Jenny at least should still be in medical. "Garrus, I don't see..."

A pair of booted feet were just visible, sprawled on the floor, almost completely hidden by the desk.

The adrenaline that had been draining away hit my system full force as I whirled back towards Garrus. "Get it open!"

Garrus gave me one startled look and jammed his hand at the door controls, taloned fingers flying on his omnitool. He snarled. "Damn it, I've been locked out. I need a minute."

_They might not have that long. _

I snapped my own omintool open, frantically punching the communications settings. "Tali!"

Her startled sounding voice echoed up at me. "What's wrong? Why are you shouting?"

"Something is wrong in Medical and we're locked out," I said, trying to keep the rising panic from overwhelming me. "Can you get it open?"

"I'm on it. Give me a second," Tali answered, calm and in control. The panic that had been building in my halted at the simple assurance she projected.

I lowered my hand, staring at the door as the seconds ticked by, willing it to open, for the engineer to go faster, or for Garrus's efforts to pay off. In my head, it felt like the clock hands thumped, each second a drum beat in a funeral march.

The door sprang open, and I hurled myself into the room like a sprinter off the mark. The danger that had incapacitated the occupants of the compartment became evident when I tried to take a breath.

No air. Or rather, no oxygen. My lungs filled, but there wasn't anything for them to use properly, and I started coughing as I looked around for the three people I knew should be here.

Panic and shock sliced through me anew when I realized that I was off by one. Kelly had come up to talk to Gabby, to check on Jenny. She'd said she was going to. Part of my mind howled in mindless, frustrated panic as I froze in place, my eyes locked on Kelly's limp form, sprawled next to a similarly unconscious Jenny. Gabby and Chakwas had reached the door but hadn't been able to open it before unconsciousness claimed them.

_"Act, and React," Thane's voice whispered._

I latched onto that thought like a life preserver, and hurled myself to Gabby's side, dragging her from the room. By the time I had, Garrus had already pulled Dr. Chakwas clear, setting her to one side.

Garrus coughed several times as alarms went off all around us. "Tali! Check Life Support. Medical's had the oxygen sucked out."

I laid Gabby against the wall and turned back. The two of us dove back into Medical together, Garrus pointing back at Kelly as he turned towards Jenny. I had already made that decision the second I started back in, and we closed the distance at a frantic pace.

My muscles burned with exertion, struggling to obey my frantic demands despite the lack of air. As I knelt to lift Kelly, the world spun for a moment, nearly sending me to floor. I caught myself at the last moment, only to stagger again as I tried to stand for the second time. My lungs burned, and fear clutched at me as I changed tactics, pulling Kelly with me as I dragged us both towards the door.

My focus narrowed, black spots starting to intrude on my vision. The door seemed to slide farther and farther out of reach as I coughed again, my chest spasming with the need to breathe. Where was Garrus? Or anyone else?

And then Garrus was there, a blur of blue armor. He grunted as he pulled us both across the last few feet, his hand slapping the door control the moment we cleared it. I rolled back over, fear hammering on the inside of my mind like some kind of macabre drummer as I felt for Kelly's pulse.

_I don't feel it. Oh God, I don't feel it. No. No no no…. _

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author Note:<em>**_ Sometimes you start writing things with a plan. Sometimes those plans get a little out of hand and the scene starts doing things you didn't plan on. The whole interaction with Massani? Not planned. At all. That is going to come back to bite Micah in the ass. Hope you enjoy the chapter! I've got a good chunk of the next one complete, so you shouldn't be waiting too terribly long to find out what happened to Kelly ;)_

_**A/N 2: **Special thanks to Palaven Blues for noting quite a few grammatical errors that slipped through on this one. _


	17. Chapter 17 - Hostage

Kelly sat on the bed with her back against the wall, breathing through the oxygen mask she held pressed to her face with one hand. Mordin swept his omnitool in a slow scan over her, as I hovered on the other side, worry gnawing at me like some kind of psychotic emotional ant colony. Technically, I was waiting for my turn, but the near panic that had set in around reviving Kelly, Gabby, Jenny and Dr. Chakwas had yet to fully fade.

Mordin tapped his omnitool, examining the data, his large eyes flicking from left to right so fast the made me think of ping pong . "Fatigue. Bruising from fall." He glanced up at Kelly. "Disorientation?"

She shook her head, pulling the mask back so she could speak. "Not anymore."

"Good. Maintain oxygen flow for thirty minutes, then rest," Mordin smiled and lowered his omnitool. "Will be fine. No permanent damage."

Relief slid through me, like I had been holding up a heavy load and finally could put it down. Kelly nodded and her other hand, below the level of the bed, gave mine a squeeze before letting go. Tension eased from my shoulders, and I side-stepped away from the bed to give Mordin room to work.

Mordin followed me, his omnitool already glowing, sweeping it in an arc. "Minimal exposure to elevated carbon dioxide. Oxygen unnecessary. Hmmm, higher than normal blood pressure, heart rate, outside of human normal range. Within consistent personal ranges, however." Mordin lowered his hand and looked at me, eyes lighting up with excitement. "Brings up other reason wished to speak with you. Must share findings." He made a 'come here' gesture and stepped towards a blank interface on the wall.

I stood, nerves and anticipation suddenly filling me. It'd been a long day already, and I didn't feel up to keeping pace with Mordin's extremely … energetic personality. On the other hand, the hyperactive alien scientist didn't seem to care on that point.

"Here, here. Sit," Mordin said, pointing at the small stool. I did as I was told, not sure what on earth had him so worked up.

"You have been told about alterations made to genetic code, yes?" Mordin demanded, his eyelids flicking closed for a moment. In the wrong direction.

_That really is the freakiest thing ever, I think. So far. God, there will be creatures I see later that are going to make me want my "happy place" aren't they. _

"Yeah, I've been told," I said, shoving the thoughts away as I tried to focus on the facts. "Mostly brain chemistry, right?."

"Precisely. Alterations to physical body, easy to identify. For you, increased stamina, accelerated healing factor. Main alterations to brain functionality though. Have, theoretically identified reason for alterations." Mordin turned and punched something on the interface he stood next to, the panel coming to life.

I stared at him, the nerves catching up yet again. "You know, you all keep telling me that, and it really doesn't improve my mood in the slightest. What did they do?"

Mordin's fingers flew over the controls in a blur I could barely follow. A moment later, a horizontal scan—a hologram of a human body that had become familiar—bloomed into view, projecting from the screen so that it separated us. "Majority of changes focused on brain chemistry. See, normal human brain chemistry, when attacked by … " Mordin stumbled, as if looking for the correct word. He glanced at Chakwas, who just shrugged.

"Pathogen? It's not precisely accurate but close enough, I think," the human doctor offered from her seat at her desk, lowering her own O2 mask so she could answer clearly.

Mordin nodded and continued. "When attacked by pathogen. Pathogen subjects individual to brain waves of secondary entity. Allows secondary entity to engage in direct control of subject."

I watched with a horrified fascination as Mordin's actions turned the hologram into a visual display of internal bodily conflict. The pathogen seemed to attack the brain and attempt to spread, only to be mauled by the body's white blood cells. The pathogen slowed gained ground though, replicating too quickly for the body's natural defenses to counter, until the holographic image reached for a weapon offscreen and put it to it's head. Mordin cut off the image.

I tried to suppress a shiver. "That is so very, very wrong."

"Now, your brainwaves, against said … ah … pathogen."

The difference in the two simulations couldn't have been more obvious. The pathogen attacked, just like it had, but nearly immediately, the brain seemed to fortify itself, antigens and white blood cells seeming to rush through the body, tearing at the invader in an overwhelming rush. It was the kind of bloodthirsty display that you see in movies with large armies, like the battle from Lord of the Rings.

"Simplified to help with explanation. Many additional biological responses. Elevated brain activity. Neuro-electrical signal increase. Altered variations in bio-electrical field." Mordin shrugged. "All geared to focused response. Or so it seems."

I kept watching until the image flared into nothingness, then focused on Mordin again. "Okay, so, I gather that is significant."

Mordin just nodded. "Indeed. Need to run more tests. conduct in-depth experiments."

"Oh. Goody," I deadpanned. I rolled one shoulder, feeling it pop. " So what 'pathogen' am I supposedly immune to?"

"Indoctrination."

Something crashed over next to Kelly and Gabby and I snapped my head around so fast that my vision blurred for a moment, and then settled on the two women. Both of them were staring at me in shock, or maybe even wonder. On the other side of the room, Hadley had frozen in place as well, just inside the door.

"Um. What's indoctrination?" I asked, looking back and forth. "I mean, I know what it means, but you all are talking about it like it's a … thing," I finished, completely bewildered by the stares.

Chakwas shot a look at Kelly that seemed to carry a measure of reproach, but the red-haired yeoman raised her hand defensively. "There have been a lot of things to cover! And things were hectic, we hadn't gotten there yet."

"That's reasonable I suppose." Chakwas said, looking mollified. She turned to me. "Indoctrination is … a means by which the beings that controlled the Collectors could, ah, mind-control and enslave people. A form of it was used upon the Collectors in several encounters."

"Wait … you are telling me, there is a race of aliens out there that just reach into peoples heads and mind control them?" I stared at Mordin for a beat, trying to wrap my imagination around that fresh nightmare. "And no one thought this was important enough to mention?"

"In your case, irrelevant. Immune." Mordin pointed out clinically, though one lip twitched into something approximating a smirk.

I scowled at him, then sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose as a headache started to form there.

_Wake up in future. Aliens. Aliens and people trying to kill me. Sentient computers. Things with mind control powers. Technology that I can't even guess how it works. Wheeeeee. _

My legs and knees tingled, and if I had been standing before, I wouldn't have stayed that way. I sighed and looked up at Mordin, ignoring the hushed whispers behind me. "Anything else?" I asked what little energy remained after nearly dying of oxygen deprivation draining out through my feet to puddle on the deck plating.

"Nothing pressing. WIll allow time to process. Appear to need it." Mordin said, that half smile of his twitching across his features again. Maybe it was a salarian thing.

I nodded and let myself slump in the chair as Mordin left. I took a slow breath, trying to gather myself. There was just so much I didn't know, that I hadn't learned about this new world, and this universe full of mind-controlling aliens, murder, and intrigue didn't seem like it planned to start pulling its punches anytime soon. How many hits could I take till the stress got to me?

The weight of several eyes finally pulled me out of my own thoughts and I straightened as I realized that the room had gone quiet. I glanced back at them. Hadley had a strange expression on his face, something that looked almost wistful for a moment, before he caught me looking and the expression vanished entirely. The others all stared at me with varying degrees concern and interest, and I squirmed on the inside under their regard.

"Doctor, how's Jenny?" I asked, finally pushing myself out of the seat.

"Unconscious, but she will heal. You found her in time. " Chakwas said, looking back at her newest patient. "I'd been letting the sedatives naturally leave her system. My options for reviving her could could have done more harm good, considering her blood loss."

Something in my chest froze solid and it felt like my attention on Chakwas sharpened to a razor's edge. "Sedative?"

Chakwas nodded as she set her oxygen mask down. "She was under the effects of a combination of painkiller and sedative. I checked our stocks of supplies, and it came from Medical, though neither myself or anyone else authorized their use."

I nodded, the motion stiff and jerky as several thoughts lined up in my head, dropping in like tetris pieces. "Thanks. Excuse me, Doctor."

I strode from the room, passing Hadley and immediately turning to head down for the elevator as my mind raced in circles, trying to connect all the dots, trying to turn all the little pictures into a mosaic that I could wrap my mind around.

_Jenny didn't try to kill herself. That doesn't fit at all. Sedatives, and slashes on both her wrists? And her datapad all smashed up? No, someone did that too her. _

_But, Miranda swept the ship. And it's not like it's a huge place. There might be ducts and stuff, but there just aren't that many places to hide. Except that somehow Medical lost all of it's air, while Jenny just happened to be in there? Miranda missed them. They are still on the ship. _

I stopped and looked towards Miranda's office. Should I say something? Would she listen? Footsteps clicked on the deck plating behind me, from the way I had came, and I glanced over my shoulder.

Kelly came to a stop a few feet away and leaned against the wall, smiling weakly. "Penny for your thoughts?"

A mixture of emotions bounced around inside me as I watched her put the O2 mask back to her face. I tried to sort them out, but when happiness and worry go hand-in-hand, nothing is simple. "Should you be up and moving around yet?"

Kelly rolled her eyes. "As long as I don't do anything stressful, yes. And you dodged my question." She stared at me looking me over. "And I haven't asked what happened to your eye."

I reached up, touching the spot Zaeed had struck me. I'd completely forgotten about it in blur of everything else, and winced as I touched up my cheek. "It's nothing. Had a bit of a disagreement."

"With who?" Kelly stepped up, reaching up to touch the spot on my cheek. Her finger ran over it gently as her expression fell into a frown.

"Uh, Zaeed. He ah, well there were a few things said and it … yeah." I stopped talking and just shrugged as Kelly stared at me.

She finally just shook her head. "Do I want to ask?"

"I would really prefer to not explain if I didn't have to. I'm sure you could get the full story from several people. There was an audience." I felt heat rising in my cheeks as I thought about what Zaeed had said and how I had reacted. I looked away, feeling the flush run all the way to my ears. "Anyway, it's nothing. Shepard showed up and told them off."

"Them? What happened?" She said, worry edging into her voice. She let her hand drop to her side as she stared up at me.

"Um …" I hesitated, finally meeting her eyes as someone else came around the corner. "Let's finish that explanation in while? I was going to go down and find Ken, see if he got Jenny's datapad to work."

Kelly's eyes narrowed. "Fine. Then you explain what happened with Zaeed and who else was there."

_Gulp._

"I'm not getting out of this without explaining, am I?"

Kelly smiled, amusement dancing in her eyes. "Nope. Let's go talk to Ken. I'm sure he's going to want to know what happened up here, if he doesn't already." She looped her arm through mine, and turned us back toward the elevator. "Then we can talk."

As we stepped into the elevator, Hadley followed us in, punching the button down for the cargo bay. I glanced over at him, and nodded.

Hadley didn't returned the nod. As the door closed, he opened his omnitool, his fingers passing over the controls for several moments. He looked up at me, meeting my eyes for a moment. Something flickered in his gaze, hard and unyielding as a stone cliff. And then he thrust his omnitool at the elevator controls.

The lights went out, and the elevator lurched to a halt, throwing me towards the ground. Kelly and I both went down;I caught myself from slamming my face into the elevators floor by inches, and pain shot up my arm to my elbow. "Hadley, what the hell?" I snarled as I looked up at him, then jerked to the side as his boot came right where my head had been. In the hellish orange glow from his omnitool, I saw him rear back for another stomping kick.

Fear sliced through me, and I rolled away from the blow only to crash into the elevator wall. Hadley's kick followed, and slammed into me with so much force that the air in my lungs rushed out, pain screaming along my stomach. I gasped, trying to get some air back and recover, but he kicked me a second time. I folded around the blow, pain blazing all over my torso. I heard Hadley's feet scuffle, and I cringed as I braced myself for a third kick.

It didn't land. I looked up just in time to see Kelly's foot come down hard on one of Hadley's, her elbow rushing for his face in a classic self-defense move. Hadley rocked back away from it, but didn't get completely out of the way, and it gave Kelly enough of an opening to shove him back into the wall.

Hadley's hand slapped at his side and there was an unmistakable whirring-click as he pulled a sidearm that I hadn't realized he'd been wearing. A spike of panic tore through me, eradicating every other thought and sensation.

_No! _

I lurched up from the floor in a rush, hammering into him with my whole body. He let out a "ooph" as the air left his lungs, and the light from his omnitool went out. I grabbed frantically for the arm where I had seen the gun, slapping it away from me as he tried to bring it to bear. The pistol discharged, a loud pulse of light and sound that rebounded in the tight confines of the elevator.

Behind me, I heard Kelly gasp, a short intake of breath, and I froze in place. A streak of horror locked my body rigid as I realized what had happened.

Hadley didn't hesitate. Something hard cracked into my skull, and the world tilted on it's end. I crashed to the floor again and lay there, trying to figure out just how I got there for a moment.

The lights flickered back on, and the elevator started moving. Hadley stood over me, the pistol leveled at the center of my chest. His flat, dead eyes boring into me. "You're coming with me. You're going to carry her." He gestured with his free hand at Kelly. "And if you attempt to resist, I'll shoot her again. Then I'll shoot you. Am I understood?"

I looked over at Kelly. She'd turned very pale, and her hands were pressed against her side. Scarlet leaked onto her fingers, slowly turning the grey uniform dark. Her eyes were wide and a little unfocused as she looked towards me.

"Help her up," Hadley said, flicking the gun slightly as he pushed the down button to the cargo. His eyes never left me, and I slowly pulled myself up, crawling over to Kelly.

"How bad?" I murmur, my hand pressing against her side gently. She let out a soft whimper of pain and closed her eyes for a moment. I pulled away, guilt gnawing at me.

"Never been shot before. Don't know," she whispered back as she opened her eyes.

"You either pick her up or I shoot her now," Hadley growled as he rocked back and forth on his heels, his eyes darting between me and the elevator controls.

I'd never make it. I knew that. Somewhere behind me Hadley had a gun pointed at the back of my head, and if I tried to rush him now, it'd be over before I managed to even turn. And that made the fury singing in my veins howl all the louder.

_Richard Hadley. Unless someone beats me to it, I'm going to kill you. _

Kelly met my eyes, fear making her's widen as she mis-read my expression. She reached up, her hand on the side of my neck as she whispered, "Don't."

I leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "You're going to be fine." My voice shook, oscillating between fear and anger as I whispered back. I didn't know if I could keep that promise. I didn't even know what was going on anymore, but I fixed that thought in my mind as a I slipped an arm under her shoulder and helped her stand.

Kelly's knees buckled for a moment, and she leaned hard against me before she suddenly laughed, a breathless little giggle. "Think this counts as doing something stressful?"

A cold chill streaked down my spin. Getting shot definitely counted as stressful. I felt my shoulders tense and I set my expression into a rigid mask as I focused on Hadley. "Naw. We can try something really rambunctious when we get back."

Something cold and ugly flickered in Hadley's dead eyes. "We're going to the shuttle. You both will get into the back. You may use the medkit to treat her, and then you'll sit, shut up, and wait. If you try anything else, you know how it ends."

"Fine, whatever," I snapped back at him. Kelly's legs buckled again, and I caught her, kneeling to pick her up before she could sink to the ground. "Hey, hang in there. We'll get you patched up, okay?"

"Sorry, everything started spinning," Kelly said, her voice apologetic and too quiet. She leaned her head against my collarbone, like she couldn't keep her head up any longer.

The cold chill spiked to arctic, and the second the doors opened I strode straight for the shuttle, leaving Hadley to catch up as I made my way into the hold. Behind me, I heard him snarl something incoherent, but I let it go.

_Let him shoot me in the back if I didn't wait for his permission, the bastard. _

I watched the cargo hold out of the periphery of my vision, but we were the only ones in attendance now. All the other crew had vacated on Shepard's orders earlier, and there wasn't anyone who could report what was going on. Or maybe Hadley had arranged it somehow so we wouldn't be spotted. It didn't matter right now, in any case.

Hadley caught up to me, the barrel of the pistol jamming into the small of my back as we reached the shuttle. He reached out with his other hand, keyed a code too rapidly to follow and stepped back. "In. now."

I stepped up and helped Kelly into the first available seat, my eyes scanning around for the first aid kit. Cold metal pressed into back of my neck, and I heard the door close behind me.

"Take off your omnitools, and do it slowly." Hadley pressed the gun in a little harder. "Then you get the medkit."

"You son of a bitch." I turned my head just enough that I could see him in the corner of my eye. Kelly slipped her omnitool off and set it on the seat next to her, her hands shaking as I watched. That cold spike of fear crawled down my back again, and I reached to unclip the small band that kept my omnitool in place. The damn thing was so light, I forgot I had it on half of the time. I blinked and looked down at my hand. I _didn't _have it on.

"Hurry up," Hadley said as he snatched Kelly's omnitool up, pocketing the small device.

"I don't have it. " I said still staring at my hand. I had it on when I started working with Ken in engineering. I used it to call Tali for help after that.

"Don't play games with me. Give me your omnitool," Hadley hissed, barely contained anger making his face flush.

"I don't have it. I had it in Medical, and now it's gone!" I snapped back at him. "Maybe you knocked it off me in the elevator, I don't know."

Hadley swore viciously in a language I didn't know and stepped back. I stood and turned, stepping directly into his line of fire as he leveled the gun at Kelly. "Do you want her to die?"

Frantic fear edged my voice higher. "What do you want?! I don't know what happened to it. Search me if you have to, but I don't have it!"

Hadley stood motionless, the gun not wavering. He finally threw the red plastic medical kit at my chest. I fumbled as I caught it, and Hadley backed up into the cockpit, slamming his hand on the controls. A door closed, separating the cabin and the cockpit. I stared at it for a second and then looked down at the kit. It shook in my hands as I turned back to Kelly. "Alright. You're gonna have to walk me through this, unless this is really basic."

Kelly slowly rolled her shirt up and away from the wound, wincing as she did. "You're looking for a package labelled medigel. It'll seal it, and has some basic antibiotics built in to help keep it from getting infected."

I nodded and tore the package open, and at her direction, carefully smeared the gel over the gunshot. I cringed when I realized the shot passed completely through her, and I worked as quickly as I could. "There ... I think."

Kelly rolled her shirt back down, moving with an exaggerated slowness. "Thank you." She looked past me, back at the doors, and red lock symbols on the controls. "I guess we have a few answers, though now I have more questions."

I cleared the rest of the supplies up and put them back in the case. Now that the routine motion of packing and re-packing had given me a moment to let my fear settle, my mind started actually working again, tetris pieces of information falling into place. "Jenny. Hadley tried to kill her. "

Kelly nodded and slid off the seat to the floor. She flinched as she did, and she sounded exhausted. "I think Jenny found something. It's the only thing that makes sense."

I slid down next to her, putting my back to the wall as I allowed my mind run through the logic. "He was right there; he walked right behind you before we found her. I saw him, but I didn't connect the two. And I bet he arranged the whole thing with Medical too: trying to finish what he started before she woke up and ratted him out."

_It was staring me in the face. _

"But I don't understand why. Richard's been with us from the beginning, it doesn't make any sense." Kelly made a frustrated sound and ran one hand through her hair. "What did I miss?"

"Let's figure a way out before we start down that road." I started patting my pockets, trying to remember what had happened to my omnitool. "I'd say we should call for help, but he took your phone and mine is missing."

Kelly twisted towards me, smiling for a moment before her expression turned grey and she sagged. I caught her, and carefully drew her in front of me, letting her lean back against my chest for support. She took a half-dozen ragged breaths before she finally could speak. "Thanks. Let's add this to the list of things we don't do again."

"Get kidnapped by a psychotic former friend? Yeah, I can get behind that." I shifted, keeping my arms around her, and letting the warmth of her presence keep the cold chill of fear at bay.

Kelly turned her head up so she could see me, a small smile playing on her features. "Well, I meant getting shot, but that too. And here, this is yours." She took my wrist in her hands and clipped a nearly invisible band closed.

I blinked at her. "How the hell did you take that without me noticing?" I looked down at my omnitool, back right where it was supposed to be, and looked back at Kelly.

Kelly smirked and tilted her head, her voice sounding positively smug. "When I nearly fell in the elevator. You were too busy glaring at Richard, and he at you." Her expression grew serious again. "Now, lets use that and get someone to come get us. I don't really want to—"

The _Normandy_ dropped from FTL with it's normal sickening jolt, the jarring sensation playing through me as we reverted to normal space. I flipped open my omnitool, and punched at my comm settings. After a moment, Garrus's scarred visage flickered to life in front of us.

"Micah, Kelly, where are you two?" Garrus demanded before I could even speak. "We thought you were in the elevator when it jammed and have been trying to get to you."

"We're in the shuttle. Garrus, listen. It was Hadley. Hadley tried to kill Jenny. He grabbed us and locked us in the back of the shuttle." All around us, the shuttle suddenly rumbled to life. I felt my heart leap into my thought. "Shit. He's trying to take off. Garrus, a little help would be good."

Garrus snapped at someone else but the rumble grew louder and the shuttle lurched forward, pressing Kelly against me for a moment. Garrus looked back at the screen, his eyes intent. "You two just hang on, we'll get you out of there. Just hang on, alr—"

The connection cut out as the familiar jolt of FTL ran through me again, and I lowered the omnitool. "Well, that could have gone better."

Kelly's face fell, and she shivered. "I'm sorry. I should have given it back the second he locked the door."

I unclipped the now mostly useless device from my wrist and pressed it back into her hand. "I probably wouldn't have used it until we'd stopped the bleeding anyway," I said quietly and held her against me. "We'll be fine. They know we're in trouble, and they'll be coming to get us, right?" Kelly nodded, then leaned her head back against my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head, trying to project more confidence than I felt. "Shepard hasn't let you down before, right?"

Kelly closed her eyes, relaxing as she did. "I don't think he knows how."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong> And off the rails we go! I'm a little curious to see if anyone can figure out where they are heading next. Might take me a little longer than this last chapter to get the next one out, but we'll see what happens. Either way, enjoy! _


	18. Chapter 18 - Purgatory

Kelly shivered a few more times before sleep claimed her. I sat there, listening to her breathe, feeling the slow rise and fall of her chest, and stared at the door Hadley had disappeared behind.

I'd just started to finally wind down enough that sleep became a real possibility when Kelly moved suddenly, her eyes snapping back open. She lurched to the side and away from me, gagging for several seconds as she fought to keep from throwing up.

Worry stabbed through my chest and I scrambled up to my knees. We'd closed the gunshot. It'd been a through-and-through, so there hadn't been a bullet to take out, nothing I could think of that could be causing her to get sick.

_Except shock, you god damn idiot! You need to keep her calm, and get her warm!_

I looked around, and jammed my hand under one of the seats, yanking the boxy shape of a survival kit into my lap before I found the blanket stuffed behind it. I dumped the contents of the survival kit under the seat, and scooted back over to Kelly, passing the improvised sick bucket to her.

She looked up, wide eyed and surprised, like she'd forgotten I was there. I fought my own shiver down and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.

Kelly blinked a few times, her expression clearing as she did. She leaned back, settling down like before and clutched the empty survival kit in front of her. "Guess I'm not sleeping for a bit," she muttered, shivering again.

"I guess I need to distract you till you are tired again. Should I start with a serenade?" I teased. I rubbed her arms, trying to keep her warm. Worry and guilt chewed at me like a hungry rodent, but focusing on taking care of Kelly helped to take the edge off, helped keep my frayed nerves from getting any worse.

Kelly started to laugh, then cut herself off after just a second. "Oh, please don't make me laugh. That hurts too much." Kelly closed her eyes, the expression of pain on her face fading into a small smile. "It's funny. I've read all the stuff EDI could dig up about you, trying to figure out how you would react. It was all work, trying to decide if you were stable, if the Collectors had messed with your head. But then you do something I couldn't have predicted. Like on Omega."

I perked up, my curiosity piqued. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, you lived a quiet life before … everything. Normal, I guess. You had a job, you went to work, and came home as far as I can tell. And people at desk jobs, don't tend to run down a gunman." She smiled, a little smirk I could see out of the corner of my eye. "I'm glad you did, but I didn't expect for there to be a hero hiding in your psych profile." She shivered, a shudder that ran through her whole body. "A-and with Jenny. I've got training as a first responder, but you beat me to her, no hesitation when she needed help."

A chuckle rumbled through me. "The desk job hadn't been intended to be a permanent thing. But I see your point." The humor turned to cold sludge as I thought back over the events of the last couple weeks. "I've never been good at sitting still when something bad is happening. Though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified the entire time."

"Neither of those is a bad thing. The one is healthy respect for the gravity of events. The other just means you are a good person, and won't let that get in the way." Kelly shifted, letting out a pained huff before settling again. "And you didn't have the example we've had. The commander tends to repeatedly run towards terrible things, and everyone else follows. Completely insane, but we all seem to do it anyway."

"Meh, sanity is overrated." I let my eyes drift closed, feeling my pulse slow as I started to relax. "Besides, if you are going to go and paint people with the hero brush, you're going to have to include yourself in that as well."

"I'm no hero!" Kelly protested. "I just—"

"Kelly, you work yourself to exhaustion making sure everyone else is taken care of. You are brilliant on top of that. I mean, I worked my ass off just for my Bachelors, and you have two master's degrees and three minors." I shook my head, my voice softening as I considered everything she'd done to help me transition. A small burst of warmth went off in my chest. She'd shown up just in time to pull me out of more than one emotional nose dive. "And on a personal note, you've kept me grounded. I'm wandering around in this crazy new universe, and every time I find myself lost or confused, you set me right, or made sure that someone else would."

Kelly fell silent, her cheeks turning a little pink at the praise. A little part of me decided that an embarrassed Kelly was an adorable Kelly, and in the future, I should make sure it happened more often.

I smiled to myself and shifted as my leg started to fall asleep. "So, what about you? How did you get roped into this mess with the _Normandy_?"

"The alliance lost two colonies before I joined Cerberus and no one else seemed to be paying any attention to it. I was recruited into Cerberus just before I graduated." Kelly wiggled, trying to get comfortable. "The Illusive Man picked me for the Lazarus Cell because of my education, he and Miranda thought I'd be able to help Shepard turn everyone from individual talent into a team. Really he did that all on his own, though."

"Didn't Cerberus turn out to be the bad guys?" My mind flashed back to Alice, the woman that Miranda had freaked out at. "I mean, didn't you tell me to run away from whatever his name was? Cowl?"

"It's gotten a bad reputation, but Cerberus isn't completely bad. It's focused on bettering humanity on a galactic scale. I believed, still believe, in that. I just don't think that it means we can't get along with other species." She shrugged again. "They aren't mutually exclusive. Though in hindsight, I might have also chosen the wrong career path."

"Well, we have that in common, though my decision making in general could use some work," I said, a sardonic chuckle escaping my lips.

"Like maybe getting into an altercation with Zaeed Massani?" Her inquiry carried amusement and seriousness at the same time, a hint of playfulness.

I cracked one of my eyes open. "You aren't going to let that drop are you?"

"You are a bit of a captive audience." She opened her eyes. I noticed with a degree of relief that she seemed more aware, and her shivering had stopped. She still looked pale, but better.

"Zaeed and several of the crew started what amounted to a bit of a witch hunt. I was the witch. They made some accusations that I attacked Jenny. I objected." I did my best to keep my tone light, though heat started to roll up into my cheeks and ears.

"So, somehow your objection resulted in Zaeed hitting you," Kelly asked, a mix of disapproval and amusement in her voice.

The flush in my face burned to the point that I thought that bursting into flames began to feel like a real possibility. And the fact that Kelly was essentially sitting in my lap didn't help my embarrassment in the least. "Well, actually, he may have started to say some things about you and I, and I ... ah, didn't let him finish."

"Oh." Spots of color started to bloom on her cheeks. "Um, what did he say?"

The heat in my cheeks went nuclear. "I didn't give him much of a chance to elaborate, but he wasn't going anywhere polite with it."

"I um … didn't realize you'd care about someone being polite to, um, me," Kelly said, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. "Can I ask you a question?"

Something about the way she asked that made me hesitate, pulling my full attention to her."Yeah, go ahead."

She took a slow breath. "Is this … maybe going somewhere?" Her words tumbled out, spilling over each other. "I mean, we do a lot of small talk, but we haven't actually talked about you, or me or anything substantial. And with the last day, last few days, it just … I'd really like time to get to know you more, and I'm not sure I'm going to get a chance to. " She started to reach up with her other arm, but flinched and let her hand drop back to her inured side.

I shifted so I could get a better look at her face, and hesitated again, trying to sort out the whirlpool of emotions that blazed through me. Guilt and a giddy sort of nervousness played tug of war with the butterflies trying to escape my stomach. "You want to talk about this now?"

"Getting shot kind of took the appeal out of dancing around the subject," she said, her voice just above a whisper. She looked away from me, staring at the door to the cockpit. "And even though I want to believe we are going to get out of this—"

"We are going to get out of this." I reached up and caught her hand with mine and squeezed, as much for my peace of mind as hers. "As for your question, I don't know. But I think I'd like to find out." In the back of my mind, the stupid crab from _The Little Mermaid_ started singing "_Kiss the Girl" _ but I just let my head drop till my chin rested on her shoulder. "Though I should warn you, I'm not good at any of this."

"I think we can work on that." She leaned back, letting herself relax against me as she intertwined her fingers with mine.

I took a deep breath, trying to let my thumping heart slow, but it turned into a yawn of it's own accord.

"We should probably rest," Kelly said, stifling a yawn of her own.

"You rest. I'll wake you if something interesting happens." I let my gaze linger on the door to the cockpit, and focused my thoughts on the man on the other side of the door for a moment.

"You yawned first," Kelly protested, but she didn't resist when I tucked the blanket around her, letting her use me like a pillow. She mumbled something else, but I didn't catch it as she slipped into sleep.

I drummed my free hand on my knee, my fingers tapping as I stared at the door. My stomach still fluttered now and then, remnants of the feeling of having someone interested in me. She didn't know the kind of baggage I carried around. Or maybe she did, and didn't care. But in the end it would only matter if we survived this.

_And I don't think Hadley is planning on letting us live, let alone leave. _

I snapped awake when the door to the cockpit opened with a thump. I blinked, blearily trying to make sense of where I was when it all came back in a rush. Adrenaline seared through me, and I tensed up as I locked gazes with the madman.

Hadley didn't seem like Hadley babyfaced, friendly and obnoxious man I had gotten to know had either been a convincing mask, or had been erased so completely that he might as well have never existed. His face seemed more angular, his features sharper. His eyes looked sunken, but burned with a cold and violent desire to do harm. Those eyes sent a chill down my spine like I'd been dunked in ice water. Hadley stepped through the door, closing it behind him. The pistol in his left hand twitched, but he didn't raise it, and he looked down at Kelly.

I gave Kelly's hand a squeeze and a small shake, never taking my eyes off Hadley. She made a minute sound of protest and started to curl up into the blanket, then jerked, her eyes snapping open. She looked up at Hadley, then flinched away from his gaze, her hand tightening into a white knuckled grip on mine.

Hadley looked between us, his face flickering between emotions faster I could follow, like someone rapidly flipping through radio stations before you can identify the song being played. He quivered, then turned, keeping us both in sight as he punched in an access code on the door.

For a panicked half second, I thought Hadley had just killed us, venting the shuttle to space. Darkness shrouded everything on the other side, and I'd apparently been too far gone to hear the shuttle land.

Then the smell hit me like a physical blow. A foul stench caused my stomach to lurch violently, and I choked several times before I managed to get myself under control. Kelly didn't fair much better, clutching the empty survival kit to her as she tried to keep from getting sick.

I looked up at Hadley, covering my nose and mouth as I did.

Hadley just stared at us, his head tilted to the side. Tali and Garrus at times would make the same motion, a bird-like expression that on them seemed natural, a part of who they were.

On Hadley it took the crazy to all new heights.

He gestured at us with the pistol, waving us towards the dark opening. "Up. Let's go."

I rose, and helped Kelly to her feet. She wobbled a moment, leaning against me till she got her balance, and together we stepped off the shuttle and into the near pitch black. Hadley followed us out, and as he did, the interior lights of the shuttle vanished, plunging us into darkness so deep I couldn't see my own hand in front of my face.

Kelly fumbled for my hand in the dark, but Hadley seemed content to let us stand there. I heard his boots thunk on the deck plates.

Or at least, I hoped those were Hadley's boots. I shuddered as my imagination treated me to a host of horrible monstrosities, just waiting in the dark for me to move before they tore into me.

_There are no necromorphs. There are no face-huggers. There are no zerg. I am not about to be torn apart by some horrible monster. If anything, Hadley's going to shoot me and that will be that. _

_And the fact that getting shot suddenly seems the better option is just more proof that my life has taken a very strange turn. _

Somewhere nearby, a click-thump echoed, like someone had just flipped a circuit breaker. A hum vibrated through the deck and a handful of security lights came to life with a sullen sounding buzz. They gave off just enough light to give the hold we were in shape, but the hazy and flickering blue-green lights also revealed something that would likely make repeat visits in my future nightmares. .

Two bodies hung to either side of the only door exit in sight. I starred in mute horror, my stomach gurgling, and I jerked my gaze away as I lost the fight to keep from getting sick. I staggered to one side, my hands on my knees as I heaved. I shuddered, spitting the vile taste of vomit and forced myself to look up at them. The moment I did, the sane pieces of my mind screamed and dove into hiding.

They had been flayed. Bits of skin and flesh hung off them in ragged chunks. Other fleshy and ropey bits slopped on the ground beneath them. They had been transfixed to the wall, pinned there like bugs in a collection. And as the finishing touch, someone had smeared the words "Abandon Hope" across the top of the door frame.

Kelly started to scream and the sound freed me from the frozen terror I had locked into as I stared at the bodies. I closed the short distance back to her and pulled her against me, stepping between her and the grisly display. She sobbed into my shoulder, shaking like a leaf.

"Shhhh, it's going to be okay," I whispered. My voice shook, quavering just as badly as the rest of me, but I did my best to swallow it in the face of Kelly's horror. But the thing that frightened me more than anything else? Hadley's expression as he came around the shuttle.

He paused, looking first at me and Kelly, then at the door. His expression didn't even flicker, didn't waver. He just stood there, completely devoid of anything resembling humanity. "Move."

"Give her a damn minute." I snapped at him, then jerked my head to the side as he leveled the gun at my face.

"You will move, now. Or I will kill you, now. I only need one of you alive to keep Shepard from blasting this place to shreds. " He gestured with the gun towards the door.

"I-it's fine," Kelly said as she closed her eyes. "Let's just go."

Helpless. The only course that had any hope right now meant walking toward Hadley's goal. And the closer that came, the more likely he'd decide he didn't need us. I took a ragged breath, and we stepped forward, passing through what seemed to be the gates of Hell. I didn't look at either body as we stepped under the words Dante made famous.

The halls beyond the hanger didn't get any better, but at least they weren't somehow worse. Scorch marks marred the walls in places. Bullet holes riddled other sections. Cables hung down from the ceiling, the lights attached to them flickering on and off, casting shadows on that seemed to follow us, prowling after us like a pack of hunting wolves. "Where are we?" I whispered.

"Purgatory. I think." Kelly shuddered and held the blanket around her closer. "This is where we freed Jack. They tried to stop the commander, and it didn't go well. They shot their way out just as a full riot broke out among the prisoners."

"This is some kind of prison?" I stepped over a fallen sheet of metal, a piece of the wall plate. Every sound made me twitch, ready for something to spring out at me.

"Yeah. They triggered an automatic distress call, and I saw the commanders message to the council as well. I thought everyone was evacuated."

"Not everyone," Hadley said in just above a whisper. "Actually, there were quite a few who didn't want to leave, and have apparently stayed on board. Eventually they will run out of food and water, and die of dehydration or starvation, but most likely haven't done so yet. So unless you want to be tortured to death by crazed murderers and rapists, I'd suggest silence."

_I go and make a Firefly reference, and now there are people hanging around that probably qualify as Reavers. Screw you, universe, I don't wanna play anymore._

I did everything I could to move silently through the debris and wreckage, helping Kelly do the same. Hadley trailed behind us, getting more agitated with every step. Every sound that echoed through the dim halls of the prison ship made him jump, looking around, his inhuman calm cracking more and more.

I turned, looking over my shoulder at Hadley for moment, starting to mouth a question when a horrible shriek cut me off. The man's scream rebounded down the halls, echoing so I couldn't tell which way it'd come from. I spun looking back and forth as the howl of pain peaked in pitch, shrill and panicked.

Then it cut off suddenly. Kelly's muffled sob seemed deafening in the new silence and we stared at each other, eyes wide with a shared terror.

_Bang_.

All three of us jumped at the sound of metal-on-metal. In the corner of my version, Hadley's mask cracked into momentary flicker of horror, before he shoved us forward, hissing "Move!" between clenched teeth.

Kelly stumbled and I caught her from falling as the sound of a metal pipe striking another metal surface rebounded down the halls. A fresh round of fear turned my blood to ice, locking my limbs in place. Closer.

Hadley shoved me again, and we stumbled forward, until he pointed us to one side, and we crossed into something that looked like it had been an office.

The double agent pointed us toward one wall, while he crossed to the desk, reaching under it and feeling for something. His eyes flicked between the door and us as he searched.

Kelly leaned against the wall her eyes closed, and one hand pressed against her side.

"You alright?" I whispered. I jumped again as the metallic bang rattled through the halls again.

"No." Kelly covered her mouth as her voice cracked. She swallowed then continued more quietly, "I'm tired. I don't know if I can keep this up much longer. And if we have to run ..." She let the words hang in the air.

Hadley's gun made a mechanical whirring sound as the safety disengaged. I spun towards him, my back to Kelly, expecting the barrel of the gun to be leveled yet again at my head.

Hadley had bigger problems. We all did.

For a ship built by a nearly all human organization, the _Normandy_ had a fairly diverse selection of species. None of them looked anything like the being who stepped into the room.

The doors to office were shorter than most, no more than six feet. The brown skinned alien that stepped through had to duck to enter. He cracked the pipe in his hand against the door frame, then peer around the room at the three of us, four eyes seeming to track all three of us at the same time.

I swallowed, looking up at him. He didn't just look tall, he looked strong too. Slabs of muscle covered his arms. He looked like he'd have no problems benchpressing Grunt, let alone smashing me like a tin can. And behind him, another figure appeared in the door, a scrawny and wiry human, his hair wild and ragged. He skittered to one side, and froze, his head cocked to the side, staring at me.

_No, staring past me. _

"Can I have the pretty one, Murlan? I want the pretty one," the thin man mewled. The former convict rocked back and forth, bobbing his head, his eyes never blinking.

Kelly shrank back, and I side-stepped in front of her, my pulse racing. A thin sheet of cold sweat broke out on my back. Hadley didn't seem the biggest threat anymore.

The little man suddenly focused on me and snarled, his face twisting up in psychotic rage. He surged forward but the big alien grabbed the other convicts jumpsuit and hauled him back.

"Looking for something? We found your little box of toys," Murlan growled. "Those rescue crews spent just a little too much time hanging around in places they didn't need to. Good try though."

Hadley kept the pistol barrel pointed at the alien's nose, right between it's four eyes. "And what would it take to get them?"

Murlan looked at Hadley, another pair of his eyes flicking towards me and Kelly. "Nothing." He let go of his ravening partner, sending him in a shove straight at me. The psycho screamed in insane glee, scrabbling across the floor at me on all fours.

Hadley's gun jerked in a reflexive snap-shot towards loosed psycho, but that'd been the exact reaction Murlan had wanted. The huge alien flung his pipe at Hadley in a spinning arc that connected with meaty thump, and the gun tumbled to the ground. Murlan launched himself over the desk at Hadley.

And then I had other problems.

Psycho hurtled across the short distance, smashing into me in a full body tackle. We landed hard with him on top of me. His hands clawed at my face, scratching at my eyes, and I had to jerk one arm across my face to protect myself or risk having them gouged out. For a panicked half-second I didn't know what to do.

_Like hell am I going to live through an alien abduction, escape being blown up in a bombing to die to a raving lunatic on a wrecked prison ship! _

I bucked under the man, getting just enough room to free my arm and sweep my elbow across in sharp brutal blow. The tip of my elbow smashed into the bridge of his nose with a painful crack and pain bolted up my arm. It must have hurt him more though, because he reeled back and to the side away from me.

Fear and anger screamed in my mind as I scrambled back to my hands and kness, narrowly avoiding a stomping kick as the third convict waded in. Blood pounded in my ears as I rolled to the side, trying to get clear enough so I could make a fight of it, and not simply be stomped into the floor. I came up to one knee just as the old man tried to repeat his kick, and I caught his foot with both hands.

I met his his eyes, and a sudden inferno of satisfaction blazed through me as his expression shifted to shocked panic. I stood, twisting his foot as I did and the ragged old man screamed as something in his knee popped. He crashed to the floor, the fight completely taken out of him.

Stars exploded across my vision as something unyielding connected with the side of my head. I hit the floor on my hands and knees and looked up into the insane face of Psycho. He'd recovered Murlan's improvised weapon and raised it over head, ready to bring it down in a overhanded smash. I stared at him, too stunned to move as the blow started to fall.

_No, wait, this isn't right!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **This is point I throw out JUST HOW WEIRD IT IS TO WRITE A LOVE INTEREST IN AN SI. I've been teasin' this for a while, so this development shouldn't be TOO much of a surprise, but hey, I could be wrong. Also, I feel the need to apologize. This hadn't been intended to be a cliffhanger: Purgatory had been intended to be done in a single chapter, but about the point i was hitting 7k with no end in sight, I had to stop and go back and figure out if there was somewhere to cut this down to closer to the 5k goal. This ended up being the only spot that made sense, soooooo...don't hate me too much. _

_Either way, hope you all are still enjoying things, as I definately am. I hope to have 19 up in about about a week, but we'll see just what happens. Also, special thanks to my lovely beta's (Kim, Pie, Tori) for keeping me from posting unreadable tripe. Dear god, I fear for what would happen if they didn't stop me. XD_


	19. Chapter 19 - Deliverence

A flicker of orange lit the room, then everything vanished in a corona of blue and white lightning. The smell of ozone drove every other smell away and for a several seconds a screech of agony deafened to me to everything else.

_Is this what it's like to die? It didn't hurt. Or didn't hurt anymore than I already did._

I blinked, my vision clearing as I my eyes struggled to re-adjust back to the dim lighting of the of the dingy office. Someone tugged on my arm, and I staggered drunkenly back to my feet.

Kelly stumbled as I leaned on her and my brain finally rebooted enough to grab for the door frame to support myself. I glanced back into the room, trying to make sense of the chaos.

Psycho flopped around on the floor, a pile of spastic jerks and whimpers, clawing at his own eyes and face. Behind the desk, I could see Murlan choking Hadley, kneeling on top of him, his shocked gaze tracking to us instead of his current victim. Orange light illuminated the wall and under the desk, and Hadley's hand swept up in an arc, his omnitool interface jamming into the big alien's neck. And _through _it.

Murlan made a gurgle of surprise as Hadley slashed down, his omnitool having shifted into a blade of orange light. The sweep ripped the rest of the convicts throat open, and a fountain of dark blood poured out of him.

Kelly pushed me toward the door, and we staggered out of the room, feet pounding as we fled the carnage and death. Behind us, Hadley screamed, a blood curdling howl of rage that rebounded from the walls.

I caught Kelly's hand and hauled her into the first turn we came to, running down a mostly clear corridor, before I randomly chose another turn. We ducked into a room and out of sight, panting for breath. The second we stopped running, Kelly slide to the floor, her face turned sheet white, her hand on her side.

"I don't think I can run anymore," she whispered, her hands shaking as she held them against her side. She looked up at me, blinking as tears tried to escape. She wiped at her face with the back of one hand, sniffling.

I flinched at her words, and knelt next to her, my head throbbing in time with my heartbeat. I didn't know what to say and just leaned in close, letting my head rest against the cool metal as my hand found one of hers.

"You should go. If you can get to the shuttle, maybe you can signal the _Normandy_." She squeezed my hand, her fingers sticky against mine. I looked down, swearing as I spotted the fresh dark stain of blood. "Damn it …."

"No, it's okay. It's not bad," Kelly protested quietly.

I looked around, but the room had been stripped. My throat closed up like someone had started to strangle me, as panic settled in. I didn't know what to do. Kelly squeezed my hand again, smiling with a worn out expression.

"Hey, I'm okay. We just need—"

The high-pitched pulse of sound that accompanied Hadley's gun echoed several times, coming from every direction at once. We both froze, rabbits hoping to not be noticed by a hound.

"You can't hide forever!" Hadley screamed, his voice high and thready, a manic edge to it. "You don't have anywhere to go! None of us have anywhere to go anymore!"

The gun pulsed two more times, and I flinched, and the shaking in my limbs ratcheted up a few more notches.

"You don't even know what it's like. They had you for two-hundred years, and you never had to feel what it's like to have them in your head. Always whispering, always crawling in your memories!" Hadley snarled, his voice growing louder as he got closer. "Oh no, you just get to whine and bitch about just how bad it is; how you are so confused. You have nothing to complain about! You've never had your brain peeled open like a _elja _fruit!"

I looked around again, my heart skipping a beat as the gun time someone screamed, a howl of pain that cut off as Hadley fired a second time.

Kelly's fingers clamped down on mine in a painful grip and drew my attention back to her. She didn't speak, just mouthing the words 'Get to the shuttle.'

I jerked my head in a quick shake and leaned over to her ear. "I'm not leaving you here. If you can't walk, I'll carry you."

"He'll catch us," she murmured back. "If you leave—"

Foot steps thumped on deck plating and we both froze in place. I didn't even dare to breathe. I had been frightened before, but I had been angry too. The slow drain of being tracked and hunted had leeched the anger away, undercutting my only defense and leaving me strung tighter than piano wire.. I shook, terrified that even the smallest sound would give us away.

"I actually need to compliment you! You're a better liar than I thought. I actually believed you about the omnitool." Hadley said, his voice suddenly quieter, calmer. "Lot of things you can do with them. Course you probably didn't know that much about them. Maybe you should ask that little bitch, if she's not bled out yet."

His boot thumped right outside the door, and for a moment my heart just stopped beating entirely. A quiver ran down my legs, threatening to unbalance me, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"It doesn't really matter now, I suppose." Hadley said, like he'd started talking to himself. "Won't matter soon at all. They are coming to end it. The sky is falling and they don't even seen, don't even see, don't even see ..." Hadley broke into a cackle. "This was my last chance. If I got here, I could have escaped Shepard. I just needed one thing. But nope. You? You are some kind of harbinger. Harbinger ..." The cackle got louder. "Harbinger is coming. He's so close I can feel him, scratching, always scratching. He's going to kill you. He'll burn you out from the inside."

Hadley's boots thumped past our hiding place like some kind of gargantuan monster in a movie, and I let out a slow breath. He'd missed us. He'd somehow missed—

"I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! I know it! You have to die. If you die, maybe it will stop. Maybe it will finally stop!" Hadley screamed, his voice so shrill it hurt and he started shooting. Bullets tore through the walls and I threw myself over Kelly, trying to get between her and the deadly projectiles.

_Not like it will help. God, if you are listening, please. If you are out there, I could really use a break right now._

It took every ounce of will not to scream in mindless terror as something tore past my head close enough I could feel the breeze. I clamped my hand over my mouth, my eyes squeezed shut and struggled to just breathe in slow, quiet breathes. Kelly shuddered just beneath me, a terrified quiver that just added to my own. Neither of us dared to move, as Hadley just kept shooting, the shots tearing through metal, moving away from us. Something like a warning beep echoed, and I heard him pull the trigger several more times, though without the whining pulse that accompanied the weapon actually discharging.

My eyes snapped open. He'd run out of ammo. No, wait, his thermal clip had over-heated.

_It's the same damn thing! But now's your chance. Before he reloads, before he's ready! _

I stopped thinking. Thinking of the odds wouldn't help. Right now, there were no clever plans, no sneaky plots or twists I could bend to my favor. If he had a spare clip, I had seconds where he would be distracted, where he might be vulnerable. He'd hit me before when I had been unprepared. Returning the favor had a certain symmetry.

The whole not thinking part of my brain had a slightly different set of priorities too though.

For a frozen second as my eyes snapped open, I met Kelly's gaze. Emerald green eyes, shining with unrealized tears met my own. Kelly's gaze widened, like she could see the thoughts in my mind even as they crystallized.

I didn't have time to let those thoughts, worries, and concerns do more than flash into being before I started to move, my hands coming up to cup Kelly's cheeks as I leaned in, pressing my lips her to hers and ….

Wow.

I pulled away, heat blazing into my cheeks. I wanted to think about that kiss. I wanted to grab that memory and not let go, not back down. Hell, I wanted to _repeat_ it, early and often. I wanted to repeat it right now.

But unless Hadley got removed from the equation—with extreme prejudice, a little part of my mind decided—that wouldn't be an option. The fear that had locked into place around my heart cracked and shattered, glass shards fragmenting against the hurricane that rose in my mind.

_I don't need a plan, just a goal. The rest will follow on it's own. Hell yes, Gerrard. _

I flung myself up in a rush that carried me out the door and into the hall before I could second guess myself. My head snapped left, then right before I locked onto my target. Hadley started to turn, whirling toward me but this time I had the initiative. My feet clanged on the deck plating, once, twice, three times. Then I ducked my shoulder and hit Hadley with every ounce of power I could muster, my full weight behind me.

We slammed into the wall, and I howled as something in my shoulder popped with an audible crack. A thunderbolt of shock and pain charred across my senses as I struggled to rise. Hadley wheezed, the breath taken out of him, and I slammed my forehead into his nose as he looked up at me. Something in his face snapped, and more pain blasted across my senses as he reeled back. I staggered, instantly regretting my choice of attacks. I tried to focus on Hadley but the harder I tried the more things tried to slip.

Pain yanked me back as Hadley's fist lashed out, crashing into my ribs with enough force to make me wonder if he'd broken something. It gave me something to focus on though, and cut through the mental fog like a woodsman's axe.

I rolled over and away from him, levering myself up just as Hadley did the same. He cast around wildly till he focused on a point behind me I chanced a glance, and almost instantly spotted the black and silver of the gun.

_One problem out of the way for the moment. Now for—_

Hadley's feet pounded on the deck as he came at me, his fist punching out. I jerked back, slapping the straight punch to the side only to catch his other in the ribs when my right arm didn't respond. Hadley's punch eclipsed the burning agony that had replaced my shoulder, and I took several steps back in a frantic attempt to buy myself room. I just needed more time.

The blazing orange blade that Hadley killed the huge convict with appeared from his omnitool in an instant, and he slashed across my upraised forearm in a searing new beacon of agony. I howled and surged to the side, staggering back into the room as I pressed my injured arm to my middle.

_I've made a mistake!_

Hadley followed me in practically stepping on my heels and I heard this horrible ripping sound as just before lightning tore across my back from one shoulder blade to the opposite hip. I went down, catching myself only to slip on the blood that had run down my arm. I stared at the slash in horrified fascination, blood pulsing in time with my heart. White bone stuck out from the slash, almost hidden in the mess of shredded flesh.

Everything hurt. My back, my ribs, my arm, my shoulder all seemed intent on blurring their different sensations into a mix that threatened to rip my conciousness from me. I tried to get up again, but my limbs simply didn't obey. I blinked away some of the black spots, watching as Hadley walked closer for a second before I closed my eyes. I didn't really want to see my death coming.

Kelly's voice shook from next to me, as a odd electronic hum started up. "Stay away from us."

I blinked my eyes open, managing to turn my head enough to look up Kelly. She'd crawled closer, one hand clutching at the fabric of my shirt, the other extended toward Hadley in a vaguely ominous gesture, my omnitool lit up an a halo of orange light around her hand.

"You had one shot. You don't have the power for anything else." Hadley said, his voice flat, lacking any emotion at all. He took another step.

"I'm good friends with a power engineer. I picked up a few things," Kelly shot back, anger turning her voice arctic.

"Which is why you were able to modify his omnitool to emit the discharge in the first place. You don't have the experience to fine tune the power requirement for a second shot." Hadley tilted his head to the side, eying her. "Goodbye, Chambers." He raised his gun.

Panic ripped at me even deeper than Hadley's blade had, and I twisted, trying to rise. My mind screamed in impotent fear and frustration. Blood sprayed and splattered the deck as a resound _boom_ thundered, nearly deafening me.

Hadley stared at the stump where his arm had been, like he couldn't comprehend just what had happened. I felt like a mirror as I stared in mute shock as the insane former crewman slid to his knees, a gaping hole where part of his chest used to be. His arm lay nearly a foot away, severed at the wrist. Hadley looked up at us, his expression clearing for a brief moment to the person that I'd gotten to know on the _Normandy_. Naked terror flashed on his face, then confusion, before he slumped to the floor.

"Hostile neutralized."

Metallic footsteps echoed into the room to accompany the mechanical voice, and a dark shape came into the view. Lights on it's "head" came to life, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "headlights" that I had never considered.

Kelly exclaimed, her hands clamping down on the slash in my arm.. "Legion!"

The black spots in my vision reappeared, and I tried to blink them away. They didn't want to retreat this time, and all the aches and pains started to blur together till everything felt like a single burning haze. Colors faded out of my vision as Legion knelt in front of us, burned away in the beacon of the light he emitted. "Yeomen-Chambers, Vakarian-Garrus reported injuries. Do you require immediate assistance?"

Kelly shifted, and her grip tightened. She said something, but I lost it in the swath of white-lightning that shot from my arm, wiping the world from existence. When I came back to myself, I found I'd been rolled to my side, and everything didn't hurt quite so much.

"Easy, Micah, stay still," Kelly said, nearly right in my ear. Her voice had an edge to it that I couldn't place. Fever-warm hands touched the side of my face, and I subsided, relaxing as someone covered the fiery pain in my back with something cool. Kelly brushed hair out of my face, still speaking quietly, "Helps here, just stay still."

My eyes slid closed. I didn't try to move again and just listened to Kelly's quiet promises that help had arrived, that we were going to be fine. It gave me a minute to try and tried to collect my frayed thoughts.

"Fucking hell."

I blinked and opened one eye. The only thing I could make out was a silhouette, but her voice and word choice narrowed down the options dramatically. "Jack. Welcome to the party. Your previous roommates suck, and Hadley turned out to be insane. And a bit of a dick. He stabbed me" I paused, a frown creasing my features. "And I'm blathering. Why am I blathering?"

Kelly's hand stroked through my hair again and the only thing I wanted to do then, was melt into her touch. "Legion gave you some pain medication. The medigel is helping too, probably."

My eyes tried to close of their own accord as Kelly's hand ran through my hair again, and I shivered, a cold chill singing through me. "Oh, okay."

"Hey, tincan, is he going to make it?" Jack asked. She sounded sharper, more tense than I'd become used to.

"Estimated chance of survival 79%. Severe blood loss, laceration to back, laceration to left-forearm." In the corner of my eye, the strange flashlight-head of Legion leaned over me, peering down. "Shock, imminent. Recommend immediate transfer to _Normandy _medical facilities."

Jack's voice twisted to something more tense. "Garrus, did you get all that?"

"Yeah. Start heading this way, I'll have the shuttle cracked by then." Garrus's voice echoed out from Legion like he had speakers stuck to his chest.

"Warning: odds of shock increase by 46% if attempt to move Moore-Guest at this time without sufficient support." Legion announced. He—or would it be it?—actually sounded reproachful.

Jack looked between me, to Kelly, then to Legion. "We'll get there. See you in five." Jack touched something on her omnitool, closing the connection. "Alright, come on tincan, lets get him up."

"Acknowledged. Resetting shoulder." Metal hands gripped my right shoulder and pressed in a quick sharp motion. I heard an audible pop, and a wave of nausea rolled through me, and I groaned.

"Suck it up, punkass. You can sleep on the _Normandy_." Jack knelt, and her and Legion pulled me to my feet. The room wobbled and my knees tried to buckle, and Jack grunted as she ducked under my to keep me standing. "Damn it, don't you fucking pass out on me."

Jack twisted and kept me from falling, but I barely notice. Hadley's dead eyes, wide and white stared up at me in accusation. Jack started to pull me forward, toward the door, but I locked my legs, bringing us to a stop, mostly by surprise.

"Fucking son of a bitch. Do you want me to leave your ass here?" Jack snapped as we swayed.

"Wait. We need to bring him." I shook my head, laboring to take a breathe. I'd not really noticed it, but now it felt like my dog had laid on my chest. "We need to bring him. Something was wrong. Something was wrong with—"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time. Legion's going to get him, why the fuck do you think I'm carrying your punkass?" Jack said, and started forward again.

"Oh." I tried to think of a comeback, but even in my half-shock, half-drugged state, "your mom" jokes didn't seem a good idea. I stopped fighting, and focused on keeping my feet moving in an alternating fashion. That's how walking is supposed to work, right?

Light loomed ahead and I squinted as we stepped back out into the shuttle bay. The shuttles side door stood open, and as we entered the bay, Garrus stepped out, his rifle smoothly swinging around to focus on us. He jerked it up and away almost instantly, his mandibles flaring in shock. "Damn, you look like that pinata at my first partner's retirement party."

"Should see the other guy," I managed to mumble. Garrus chuffed out a laugh, and between the three of them, they got me and Kelly settled into the back of the shuttle. Kelly pulled my head into her lap, her fingers brushing through my hair. My eyelids turned to lead, and even if I'd wanted to keep them open, I didn't have the strength to.

"Told you we'd be fine," I murmured, struggle to just stay awake.

Kelly moved, and I felt her lips press against my cheek in a quick kiss. I couldn't see the smile, but I could hear it in her voice. "You did. Now just rest."

A wave of warmth rolled over me, and a stupid grin, the kind I hadn't smiled in a long time, crept across my face. "I think I can do that."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **Aaaand ow. And yay? Sorry, I tried to combine this and last chapter into one, but they were just going to be massive. This even got cut AGAIN because the scene I tried to end on felt forced, so it's going into the start of next chapter. Hope you all enjoy! _


	20. Chapter 20 - Sylvia

"Mr. Moore, perhaps I should simply leave one of the beds with you name on it for future use?" Dr. Chakwas asked as she finished setting up the IV. She tapped it a few times to make sure it flowed correctly. "The only other person to show up covered in blood more often than you is Commander Shepard."

"Not my fault. Someone put a psychopath in my way," I grumbled and leaned back into the pillow. The pain medication she'd already given me had taken the edge off, but my accumulated injuries still seemed to be intent on forming some kind of coalition for a hostile takeover.

"At least you had a chance to hit him back," complained a weak voice to my left.

I turned my head and looked over at Jenny Goldstein. Bandages still covered her wrists, and she looked tired, but her eyes were open, and her color had returned.

She scowled. It made her look like a petulant child and my slightly drug-addled mind responded in kind. I stuck my tongue out at her. Bastion of maturity and self control, that's me.

Dr. Chakwas rolled her eyes and finished setting up the last of my medication. "All three of you should get some rest. And I am not above sedating you to accomplish it."

I started to giggle but subsided as my ribs complained, my breath coming in short little gasps. I mentally added bruised ribs to my list of "Things I don't want to do again."

Jenny's expression softened. "Sorry."

"Nah, It's fine. It's all good." The giggles welled up again. Whatever the doc had prescribed, it had to have been the good stuff. Tingles ran through me, little pinpricks of sensation replacing aches and pains.

Jenny smiled crookedly, though even through the haze of drugs it look strained. "You are totally high, aren't you?"

To my right, Kelly laughed breathlessly and leaned back into her pillows. "Yes. Yes, he is."

"Yes, I am," I agreed boisterously to the room, a stupid grin plastered on my face. The pains and aches continued to fade. At the same time, everything felt heavier, my arms and legs weighing down on me like someone had cranked up the gravity.

Chakwas finished setting up Kelly's medication then turned to all of us. "Sleep. All of you. I mean it."

I tried to raise one hand to wave at her, but the gravity in the room seemed to have reached levels that I couldn't fight against. That hardly seemed fair, but as my eyes started to close on their own, I realized that it didn't matter. Sleep was happening, regardless of my wishes.

_Sleeeeeeeeeeep. _

* * *

><p>I stared blearily at the wall as I started to wake up, the warmth of the blankets and covers settled over me like an invisible net, preventing me from rising. Getting up seemed like such an arduous task. Why bother?<p>

A satisfied smile crept across my cheeks. The _Normandy_ always felt cold. This was a nice change. I rolled over, soaking in the heat. And came face to face with a giant stuffed animal.

I blinked several times, trying to clear my vision, to make the image of the furry thing not seem so blurry to my barely conscious mind.

Tan and black, smashed face, dark glass eyes, pink tongue sticking out. A giant stuffed Pug?

_Why does that seem so familiar? _

I stared at it, trying to jog my brain into motion. It sat on the end table next to the bed, like some kind protector statue. Except, you know, stuffed and furry.

A sense of unease started to slide through my gut, my muscles tightening as a memory nearly fifteen years old clawed its way to the surface, icy talons of dread and hope spiking through my mind. I recognized this thing. I had won it at King's Island. I had given it to ….

_Sylvia. _

I jerked upright and ripped the covers back and away, silencing the siren song and becoming suddenly aware of what had woken me in the first place: a shouted argument somewhere nearby.

I tore out of the guest room of the apartment. My apartment. The apartment that I had shared with Sylvia.

_It was all a dream. It was just one long strange dream. _

Hope kindled to life in me like a newborn star. My parents were alive. Sylvia was alive. It had just been a long and twisted dream, a passing fantasy and nightmare. And the dream was over. I could fix things, I could make it right. I made it around the corner into the living room, and skidded to a halt.

Sylvia stood at the edge of the kitchen, her back straight as a board, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. Fury rolled off of her in a tangible wave, her cheeks flushed. "Damn it, why do you have to be such an asshole?"

Her words brought me up short, deja vu hammering into me all the empathy of a freight train.

"I'm an asshole? At least I have some other settings besides pissy! You've been shitty with me for days, and won't even tell me why!"

Nothing hurts quite as much as crushed hope. The flickering star in my chest guttered and died, leaving a void that sucked the will out of me. I turned to face the second voice. I turned to face myself.

Other-me stood just inside the doorway. My doppelganger appeared just as angry as Sylvia, face twisted up in a scowl that gave him a feral cast to his features. My features. He took a step into the living room, dropping the backpack. "I've been home ten damn minutes, and you already want to fight," he snapped.

"I didn't start this, you did." Sylvia snatched her keys from the counter. "And I could spend all day telling you what you did."

"Oh, please do." My doppelganger snarled and followed Sylvia as she made her way to the door. "What? All this and you're just gonna walk out?"

"Yes. Yes, I am." Sylvia jerked the door open, and paused in the halo of light from the outside. She didn't look back, and her voice dropped to a whisper that I could just make out. "Goodbye, Micah."

The door slammed closed and with it went the last vestiges of my hope. My doppelganger froze in place, staring at the door, confusion clouding his face. My face. A dull ache threatened to pull my heart into the black hole that the collapsed star of hope had created. I remembered this. I remembered how the anger had faded to confusion, then to worry.

"This was the last time you saw her," Sylvia said from behind me.

I spun in place, whipping around so fast the room blurred.

Sylvia stood behind me. Not the Sylvia who'd just walked out the door moments before, but it was her just the same. She smiled and swayed in the same white sun dress I remembered her wearing in my last dream. "Hey."

My mouth felt like the Sahara as I stared at her, trying to figure out just what to say, just how to react. Stunned didn't even come close. Confused simply didn't convey the scale.

Sylvia reached up and interlaced her fingers with mine. She drew me towards her, and I went, pulled by inexorably in her wake. Sylvia opened the door to the main bedroom and sunlight blinded me for several seconds. I heard the door shut behind us, and a warm breeze rippled by, carrying the smell of fresh-cut grass. I blinked as my eyes adjusted, taking in the rolling hills, and woods. On all sides, small fields nestled between swaths of woodland and hills, with a single winding road cutting through. Long drives branched off it like tributaries of a river, leading up the to the few houses I could make out from here.

I stopped and looked back. The trailer home looked exactly how I remembered it; simple and comfortable. A little worn, but also cozy in its own way. And also not the apartment we had just walked out of.

_I am the master of time and space? _

"I'm dreaming," I said aloud and turned to face Not-Sylvia.

She smiled and tugged at my hand, turning us toward the open field that would lead us down to her grandparents house. "Yes, you are. And you know I'm not actually Sylvia."

I blew out a breath before I answered her. "Normally this is the point when the dream falls apart, and I wake up. But I'm not."

"You also have close to a hundred stitches and are dosed up on enough pain medication to drop a cow," Sylvia pointed out, her smile widening. "Guess you're stuck with me for a bit."

"Which begs the question; who exactly are you. Am I talking to my imaginary friend?"

"Maybe. Maybe I'm your memory of her. Maybe I'm the Sylvia you wished she'd been. Or maybe not." She stopped and let go of my hand as we reached the fence, and opened it. I followed her through, and she closed the gate and latched it behind her before taking my hand again. "Or maybe I'm just a part of you."

"So I'm talking to myself? That's not typically a good sign, all things considered," I said, a snorted laugh escaping me.

"That depends, and you know it," she chided back. "Think of me, rather, as part of your subconscious. You were dreaming of Sylvia, and it just seemed the easiest way to accept a conversation, considering the circumstances."

I mulled that thought over a moment, the grass crunching slightly as we walked. "Alright. It's not quite as crazy sounding I guess. Though, why?"

"Because of what happened at Purgatory with Hadley. He might have sounded crazy, but you know that he didn't start that way. Something was pushing him." Sylvia sounded troubled, and she spoke slower, like she was tasting the word before she shoved it out into the air for both of us to deal with.

"Indoctrination."

"Yeah. That's kind of what I was thinking," I answered her. I flashed back to the screaming madness Hadley had been spewing. "And a name, too, for the good it'll do me."

Sylvia's solemn nod punctuated her words. "Harbinger. It knows about you. More, if Hadley's reaction is anything to go on, it considers you a threat, or something that might turn into one." Sylvia's tone grew even more sober. "And whatever Harbinger is, it's coming. I'd be a bit concerned about that."

I didn't answer her. I had more questions than answers at this point, and the very idea that I'd garnered the attention of something capable of rearranging the inside of someone's head took the terror of this much larger galaxy to whole new levels.

"And there is something else to consider. Alice Wake." Sylvia turned our course, taking up towards the garage. "Anyone who worries Miranda Lawson like that is scary. And she tried really hard to separate you from the rest of the group."

"I don't suppose you have any good news for me?" The words seemed bitter and harsh even to me, but I found it hard to care. The sky was falling, and I didn't have anywhere to run.

She tightened fingers in comforting squeeze. " You aren't alone. Not anymore."

My cheeks went to DEFCON level 1 in the space of a single heartbeat. "I am not ready to talk to my subconscious, who's dressed as my ex-girlfriend, about that."

Sylvia threw back her head, her silvery laughter filling the air for a moment as she revelled in my discomfort.

_And considering that my embarrassment and determination to apologize is how I met Sylvia, that is pretty much exactly right …._

Thunder boomed in the distance as if in answer to the laugher, and we both turned to look. Clouds manifested at the horizon and rolled toward us, dark and ominous. The deluge appeared to be more waterfall than rain storm.

"We're out of time," Sylvia said, frustration making her words come out clipped. She turned back to me, and reached up to wrap her arms around my neck, her lips so close I could feel her breath when she whispered. "The _Normandy _isn't safe. Keep your eyes open. And take care of Kelly. I know you: you're afraid you'll mess it up, like you did with the other me. But just be there, and she'll be there for you." She released the hug and pushed me towards the garage. "Run. Run, you clever boy. Run, and remember me."

The wall of water raced towards me, and I backpedalled, gaining the door. I looked back at Sylvia just as she vanished from sight, disappearing into the flood of water. My fingers fumbled at the handle of the door, and I shoved it open and rushing through just as the rain hammered down at me.

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes to dim orange light and familiar grey-white bulkheads. My back burned with sullen fire as I sat up, the stitches stretching in that weird combination of sensations that go along with being held together by sutures. The overhead lights had been turned down—a setting that I seemed to be getting used to—and the only illumination came from the glow of the console at Chakwas's desk. My body declared its various needs and complaints as I got out of bed, but what rest I had gotten seemed to have worked miracles. Or maybe Chakwas was a miracle worker.<p>

_Dr. Chakwas, Medicine Woman? I can see it._

My steps slowed as I came alongside Kelly's bed. She'd rolled over, pulling the covers up around her face. A shaft of sunshine flickered to life in my chest, reflecting up to my face as a smile. I tugged the blanket up a little bit more, and let her sleep. She needed it just as badly as I did.

I crept out of Medical, and only stumbled once on the way to the bathroom. I took care of the essentials and leaned heavily on the sink for a moment, letting the hot water run over my scraped-up hands. The warmth felt amazing in contrast to the cold deck plating, and the sensation gave me another point of reference I badly needed as I struggled to shake off the sureal dream. A thousand questions ran through my head like some kind of strange herd of buffalo.

_Why does the name Hector come to mind? Hector the Buffalo? _

I shook my head, then instantly regretted it. My stomach did somersaults for several seconds before settling down in a semi-smooth landing that thankfully didn't end in puking. "Ooookay, Micah. No more of that," I grumbled to myself, and started back to my bed in Medical.

_Where I'm going to what? Lay in bed, staring at the ceiling? I'll just sit quietly under the stairs, making no sounds and pretending I don't exist. _

The thought of lying in the dark while the memories of Hadley's words bounced around in my skull, whispering uncertain endings didn't appeal to me. I stopped and stared at the darkened Medical Bay and then glanced to my left at the elevator. No, I had other options. I reached over and punched the call button. If I couldn't sleep, maybe Ken could find something to keep me busy.

The door to the main engineering compartment opened on something that I hadn't heard since nearly my first few days on the _Normandy_: Ken and Gabby arguing. The beam of sunlight kindled to life again as I came around the corner to them acting like the old married couple that they clearly were destined to be.

Gabby's eyes widened as I stepped into view, and she stopped mid-sentence, before sputtering out a greeting. "Micah! What are you doing out of bed!"

Ken spun to face me, his own startled expression almost matching Gabby's perfectly. "Bloody hell, man, Chakwas is going give you enough tranqs to drop a krogan if she catches you."

My smile widened, and I hobbled over closer. "She tried that. It didn't take, clearly." I came to a stop and leaned against the railing. "Couldn't sleep, and lying there in the dark didn't appeal. Figured I could be productive if you all had something I could handle."

The console behind the two engineer chirped, then Joker's voice filtered through the section. "_Damn, and I thought we'd topped out on crazy workaholics. Guess I was wrong." _

"Naw, I'm operating on flex time. I'll slack off double later to make up for it," I said, "You miss me, Joker?"

"_Me? Not a chance. Jack, I think, missed you though. I'd say go for it, but she doesn't seem like the sharing type, and a little bird told me you and Kelly seem to be getting along," _Joker answered_, _his voice dripping with smug satisfaction. _"I totally called it._"

My cheeks went up in flames so fast, I had to have been soaked in gasoline. "How—"

Gabby clapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes going wide as she tried to keep from giggling. She failed, and leaned back against her console, shaking with laughter.

Ken rolled his eyes. "You two have been doin' this little dance since the day you came on board. Though I didn't think you two would figure things out while being kidnapped."

If embarrassment could reach lethal levels, I would have spontaneously combusted. I rubbed the spot of tension between my eyes. "Okay, how?"

"EDI," Ken supplied, "When Kelly used your omnitool on Purgatory, EDI picked it up. Audio, Biometrics, a little video."

Joker cut in, "_And I put two and two together, and just had to share with a few good friends. And maybe posted a few notifications to the crew at large." _An awkward pause followed that. "_I mean, once we knew you were gonna make it. We were totally focused on your guys' safety, honest."_

I groaned and closed my eyes. "Awesome. And this is now …." I rubbed the spot between my eyes, feeling the pressure in my head start to build. "Awesome."

"_Hold that thought guys, it's go time," _Joker cut in. "_I'll patch you in, hang on."_

I peeked with one eye and mouthed the words "Go time?" at Gabby.

"Shepard's hitting the Broker base right now," Gabby whispered back, motioning me closer as she did. "They landed about ten minutes ago."

"And this is the guy that tried to kill us on Omega." Fire boiled in my belly, a rumbling anger that demanded satisfaction. I'd just have to settle for a proxy.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author Note: <em>**_Thanks guys for reading! The dream sequence was one of those scenes that played itself out in my head months ago, and demanded to be used. When I started working on this one, it felt right to put it here, instead of my original tentative slot farther down the road. I hope you enjoy it! _

_On a more frustrating note, my laptop, may it rest in peace, is dead. A moment of silence for our fallen brother. _

_Mkay. On to business. What this means, is that for the last week (and this week) I've been steadily falling behind in things, as a tablet and my phone just aren't capable of doing a lot of things a real computer can. I borrowed a computer to upload this. I've been attempting to get a chapter out every two weeks, but, obviously, this one is late and the next one may be as well. I'll do my best, but this is just a heads up. I'll try and get back on schedule soon. _

_And, again, thank you to my wonderful and amazing betas (Kim, Pie, Tori) for keeping me rolling on this and helping kick it into shape! _


	21. Chapter 21 - Afraid

I stared up at the ceiling of the _Normandy_'s cargo bay,and tried to figure out how I had ended up with my back on the mat. Again.

_Well, first I agreed that I should learn to defend myself. Then Jenny volunteered to help. Then she threw me around the mat like a ragdoll._

"You alright?" Jenny asked from a few feet away, her hands on her knees as she caught her breath. I tilted my head to one side so I could see her better and stuck my tongue out, eliciting a little breathless laugh.

"Hey, you did say don't go easy on you," Jenny said, straightening up and offering me a hand. I took it, and she helped haul me back to my feet.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." I rubbed my shoulder, the ache slowly spreading into the joint. Arms were not intended to move that way. "In hindsight, I'm thinking that the words I should have used were 'oh god, please don't hurt me.' "

Jenny laughed again, and swiped at her face, pulling back the strands of sweaty hair plastered to her face. She smiled and made a shooing motion. "Enough for now. I'm not sure your pride can take much more of a beating."

"I'd say pick on someone your own size, but you'll just kick my knees out from under me so I'm the right height," I complained. I didn't mind losing. But I had expected to put up more of a fight. The road in front of me suddenly seemed a whole lot longer.

_Or shorter, if something catches you when you aren't protected. You've survived this long by the grace of others, and sheer dumb luck. _

I shook the dark thoughts away. I'd have time to doubt later. I glanced towards Jenny. "Tomorrow, same time?"

She nodded, though her eyes lingered, her expression thoughtful, her hands planted on her hips. She pursed her lips like she wanted to say something, but held back.

I looked away, uncomfortable under the scrutiny and turned to go. She didn't stop me, but the itch between my shoulder blades didn't vanish till the doors of the elevator closed behind me. I let my forehead rest against the wall for a moment, and tried to think quiet thoughts.

The image of two men, spiked to the wall screamed through my mind like a freight train applying it's brakes. My eyes focused on the slithery grey-red pile of entrails beneath each, the stench hitting me like a physical blow. I tasted bile and jerked my head to the side, away from the horrible sight.

The door to the elevator opened, and I stepped out, brushing past a pair of people in my haste to get out of the confining space. I heard someone say my name, and I said something noncommittal in greeting as I passed, turning and heading into the observation lounge.

For the number of people on it, the _Normandy_ didn't have a lot of space for privacy, and I'd found that the only way I tended to get a moment to myself had been either find a out of the way corner of the cargo bay, or the observation lounge. The room had been the space that Samara had used to meditate, and most of the crew still avoided it out of habit. I'd never met her, and so the room held no particular significance to me in that regard, though I could understand why she'd chosen it.

Pinpoints of light filled the the window in front of me, the same startlingly clear view that I'd seen in my first couple days on _Normandy_. Just like then, I found it hard to fathom the scene in front of me. The cool calming light of millions of stars shone unblinking at me through the viewport, and I felt the pressure in my shoulders ease in the pale light. The door behind me opened, and I glanced over my shoulder, though I had a good guess who it'd be.

"Hey," Kelly said, her voice soft as she made her way across the room towards me, her steps careful and slow, like moving still hurt. Maybe it did.

My arm and back itched in sympathy, a phantasmal ache, and I turned to face her, my back against the railing. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Still sore. A whole lot of awkward. A bit confused," Kelly said. She raised her hand, cutting me off before I could say anything. "A little angry maybe. It's been a week since ... everything. And you've barely said two words to me." Her green eyes searched my face, looking for an answer. "I understand if you needed a little breathing room but ... I guess I just thought you'd have said something before now."

My heart sank into my stomach as I wracked my brain. I hadn't been avoiding her, not intentionally. There had been a lot of sleeping. Then Ken fixing my omnitool and then ...

I stopped myself, my expression falling as the dismay hit me. I hadn't been trying to avoid her, far from it. But I had managed it all the same. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I've just been trying to keep busy and apparently did that part too well."

Her expression softened and she stepped a little closer. She reached out, taking my left hand in hers, her fingers running down my forearm and along the thick band of scar tissue that marked where Hadley's blade had cut me. It tingled oddly under her touch, her thumb running along the length of the mark. "It's healing fast. I thought it'd have more of a scar."

My heart accelerated, a wildly beating drum in my chest in reaction to the touch of her hand, but I tried rein that surge in. "It wasn't that bad. I mean, lets not do that bit again, but the doc patched me up easily enough."

Kelly didn't let go of my arm, and looked up at my face, her eyes bright and worried at the same time. "You're stressed. You have every reason to be, and you've been handling everything amazingly well, but it's starting to catch up to you. You need to talk about it. Find a way to relax, before you explode."

"I'm fine. Besides, I'm doing what I can to relax, unless you have a better suggestion for stress relief," I said with a small shrug.

I must have added some kind inflection to that, because a small blush crawled up Kelly's cheeks. "I do, but I don't know that we are … um, quite there yet."

_Oh. That ... um ... oh._

The embarrassment train stopped at station Micah, and unloaded a full cargo before zipping off to find it's next victim. "I ... yeah. That would be ... premature."

Kelly laughed, a nervous little chuckle. "We aren't very good at this, are we?"

"Apparently not." I flashed back to the frantic scramble on Purgatory, just before I'd rushed to confront Hadley. The memory of the kiss made goosebumps rise on my arm. "Unless you count heat of the moment decisions."

The color in her cheeks grew even more prominent. "Yeah, that was unexpected." She released my arm and reached up to brush strands of hair away from her face. "I mean, good, but unexpected."

"I am glad you approve." I smiled, releasing a measure of the tension I had been holding. Why the hell hadn't talked to her before now? I ran that through the rusted gears that I called a brain, but the only answer that came squeaking out didn't help me. I shook my head.

Kelly tilted her head, her own mental gears clearly at work. I bet she didn't get squeaky noises when she thought. "What? "

"Just reflecting that I'm an idiot." I answered. I didn't try to hide the embarrassment. I should be embarrassed. "And again, I'm sorry."

"I suppose I can forgive you this time." Kelly's voice took on a more teasing note as she spoke and she leaned up, her lips brushing against my cheek. The sensation lingered, tingling on my skin, and I grinned. Kelly returned it, before slipping into a more businesslike expression. "Though, I did have another reason for hunting you down. The commander wanted to talk to you, about Purgatory, and what happens next, I think."

A cold chill settled into my stomach. I did not want to really think about either of those things. "I don't suppose that's a polite request that I have the option of turning down?"

A little wry smile crossed her features. "Not really. If it helps, I don't think it's an interrogation. He wants you to meet him up in his cabin."

That caught me off guard, and I tilted my head in confusion. I knew Shepard had a cabin, and that it qualified as extravagant compared to the rest of the ship, but I'd never seen it. "Um, okay?"

Kelly shrugged, and took a half step back. "I don't know, but he tends to get to know everyone under his command. You're a bit of a special case, and I don't think he knew quite how to approach you."

"Oh, yes, I'm so hard to approach," I answered dryly as I started towards the door. "I guess I'm off to see the wizard."

Kelly gave me a slightly blank expression before I saw the reference click in home. "Oh, Wizard of Oz."

I sighed and laughed. I was going to make everyone sit down for a movie marathon at some point, so I could stop getting funny looks every time I made a movie reference. "Yup." I paused at the door, and looked back at her, a warm stirring of hope, anxiety and excitement swelling in my chest. "Um, before I go running off and do something stupid, like oh, not talking to you for most of a week, lets make plans. I ... would ask you to dinner, but I mean cooking around here isn't exactly ... and finding a quiet moment around here is next to impossible ..."

I trailed off as Kelly raised a hand to her mouth, covering a smile.

She gave me a shooing motion. "We'll figure something out. Maybe we'll see about something when we reach the Citadel. Go on. We'll decide later."

I felt my eyebrows furrow together as I tried to remember what the Citadel was precisely. I remembered the name, if for no other reason than it sounded impressive, but the specifics escaped me. After a moment I realized it wouldn't matter all that much though, especially in the wake of the fact, that wherever it was going to be, I had a date. I flashed a grin at Kelly, then scooted out the door.

_Something is out there trying to kill me, and I'm thinking about a date. I may or may not be damaged. Or normal._

That line of thought cooled my excitement by several degrees, though it didn't completely fade. It did leave room for the cold spike of fear to sink back into place though.

I stepped into the bathroom and hurried to shower, letting the hot water and steam play over me. I leaned against the shower wall for just a moment, rivulets of water trickling off me and to the floor. I heard the door open and close with a hollow sounding thump.

Another memory flickered through my thoughts. A hollow thump, a gasp of pain. Kelly looking up, surprise and shock on her face as she pressed her hands to a bullet wound.

My stomach lurched, flipping over on itself, the walls of the shower stall pressing in as the world collapsed in on me in burst of claustrophobia. I gagged as I threw up, and squeezed my eyes shut. My shaking hand caught the shower head, and I angled it down to wash the shower floor clean. .

_At least you hadn't eaten yet._

"You alright in there?" an unfamiliar voice asked from the the other side of the stall door.

I jerked at the words, flinching as if I'd been slapped. My voice sounded unsteady, even to me, as I answered, "Yeah, I'm fine."

The reply came a beat slower, and I heard the skepticism as clear as day. "Alright. Just checking."

I closed my eyes again, and turned the heat on the water up to almost scalding, as I tried to get myself under control.

* * *

><p>"Come in," Shepard's voice echoed from the intercom. I dropped my hand away from the controls as the door opened and I stepped into, apparently, the luxury suite of the SSV <em>Normandy<em>. Blue light filtered in from the left side of the room, emanating from a massive fish tank that took up half of the left wall. The double sized bed in the back of room sent a mild spike of envy through me. While entirely serviceable, the bunks in the crew deck were not sprawl worthy.

I missed sprawling.

Shepard stood up from his desk, an L-shaped design that looked out over the room and gestured down towards a couch and pair of chairs that were tucked to one side. "Have a seat. I wanted to talk to before we left."

I started to follow him as he stepped down, then hesitated as I saw what he had been working on, blinking in surprise. "You know, I wouldn't have placed you as the model building type."

Shepard looked over at his desk and shrugged. The entire far side of the desk had been overrun with the contents of a boxed model starship, something that looked vaguely like the Normandy, but more solid somehow.

I felt a wan smile play over my face as I looked at the pieces, a disconcerting sense of familiarity wandering through my mind as I considered all the times I had put my own figurines and models together, all the painting I had done. It seemed very far away now.

"Everyone needs a hobby, preferably something that doesn't involve someone trying to kill you," Shepard said. He motioned towards a seat as a sat in the one facing it. I settled down and waited for him to continue, folding my hands together.

Shepard stared at me a moment, picking his words carefully. "In a few hours, we are going to be leaving orbit and beginning to make our way to the Citadel. I've been ordered back to give a report about the Collectors and the results of that mission, which leaves you and I needing to make a decision about what I tell them about you."

My heart thumped wildly in my chest as I met his gaze, and I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees. "Um, and what have you told them already?"

"Almost nothing," Shepard said with a small shrug. "I reported that we had found a survivor, and at the time presumed that they were a colonist. I haven't sent an update yet. I'm not sure how they are going to react if I tell them the truth. To be honest, the Council and my superiors haven't had the best track record when it comes to dealing with facts at face value." He let me digest that for a moment, watching me.

"I … see. I think." I glanced away from him, looking to my left at the fish tank. Several colorful forms drifted through the water, gliding gracefully around some kind of kelp looking plant. Their effortless movements seemed to drain a little of the tension away from me. "So, what exactly are the options?"

"Well, unless someone comes up with a third idea that I haven't considered, there are only two options that I can see working out. The first is I update the Council and the Alliance in full with what Dr. Solus and Dr. Chakwas have determined about who you are, and what was done to you. That will get a lot of attention, and not all of it will be good."

"More tests?" I asked, the bitter distaste I felt spilling out into my voice. "Haven't I been poked enough? I mean, Mordin and Chakwas are nice about it, but I've spent more time in Medical than any other part of the _Normandy_."

Shepard huffed out a laugh. "So Chakwas has told me. She's threatened to start charging operating fee's for a Bread and Breakfast, if people keep staying overnight." His smile faded after a moment. "But yes, it's entirely possible they will want to examine you further. And that's not the only thing. As a whole, the Alliance's stance on encountering a new alien race is to assume hostile, and take all the necessary precautions to defend ourselves against a threat. You were, in essence, a POW, and the Alliance could, at least for a while, hold you under the pretense of being a security threat."

"Well, that sounds ... ominous." I found myself fidgeting, and forced myself to stop, pressing my palms on my knees. "I don't suppose there is a way to avoid that?"

"Possibly. I've talked it over with Garrus and Liara, and because of the circumstances of your abduction, there is a loophole or two that we can exploit." He leaned back in his seat, giving me a thoughtful look, though something in his eyes seemed colder. " Liara also suggested that you could remain here with her on the Shadow Broker ship. It would take her a little time, but she would be able to make a full history up for you."

I blinked and stared at him, trying to understand why he hadn't just decided on this course of action. It didn't have any downsides I could see. "Okay? What's the catch there?"

"No catch, other than time. You'd have to stay with her here on the Shadow Broker ship. She's not sure how long it would take and there are a lot of other things that will have her attention. And you'd be mostly alone. Liara doesn't want to any more people than necessary." Shepard watched me, seeming to judge my reaction. That creepy chill that his gaze seemed to instill in me from time to time swept over me in a rush that made the hair on my arms stand up.

The chill faded, and my stomach sank as I realized what he was saying. I'd be leaving the _Normandy_. I didn't really belong there, but I'd made friends. I knew people here, and the thought of leaving them?

For an agonizing second, a spike of panic transfixed me, like pinned me to the chair in a macabre parody of an insect collection. I took a long slow breath, and forced my coiled muscles to relax before I answered in a very quiet voice, "I think, that both in the short term, and long term, it'd be best if we just got the whole truth out there. I'm not ... sure how well I would handle being mostly on my own here. And I'm not sure hiding would work for me for very long."

Shepard nodded, though he made no indication that he noticed my momentary panic attack. "Speaking of, how have you been handling everything? Kelly's kept me informed, but I'd like it in your words."

"I'm ...," I started, then paused as I considered what I was trying to verbalize. "I don't know. I mean, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. And after the whole thing with Hadley." I stopped, the bottomless well of terror sloshing around in my chest as phantom images and sounds pressed on my mind. "Let's just say I need some time to process."

"Kelly's said you've done extremely well considering the circumstances behind your abduction and the events around here. A lot of people would have snapped or closed in on themselves. You've managed to avoid both." Shepard's gazed was steady and calm. "I can name only a handful of people I know who'd have adjusted as well."

"Maybe I'm just too stupid to understand how much trouble I'm in?'" I quipped back. "Ignorance is bliss, right?"

Shepard's chuckle rumbled in his chest. " I think you've moved beyond that. Donnely seems to think you are too smart for your own good." A thoughtful expression crossed his face. "That actually brings up a question I've been meaning to ask you. When we found you, you'd been frozen for a long time. You'd never heard any of us speak, and yet you understood us just fine. Languages change over time, words change meaning and things fall out of use, but you seem to have had no problems at all. Aside from the occasional obscure reference, I couldn't tell."

I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it, my mind working. "I ... don't know." I drummed my fingers on my knee, thinking. "I hadn't even considered that. I mean, yeah, I've read old english stuff, and even if the differences aren't that great, I should have hit something that seemed odd. And ... I can't think of anything. "

"It just seemed odd to me. I'm not an expert, and maybe there's a simple explanation," Shepard said, his shoulders lifted in a shrug.

Shepard rose, pacing back up to his desk. I started to as well, but he waved me back down, returning to his seat with a datapad that he powered on. "This is going to be tricky and we need to go over a few things that you will need to remember when we arrive. Things to say and not say, at least until we clear some of the initial red tape."

I didn't even bother attempting to stop the sigh as I settled into my chair. "Alright. I guess lets get started."

* * *

><p>The phantom lightning bolt burned down my back as Hadley struck me down in my dreams again, and I surged back to consciousness, my heart racing. Dim green light gave the room a surreal quality, punctuated by the quiet sounds of the other sleepers. I lay there, quelling the trembling feeling in my limbs with a white knuckled grip on the side of the bed before I decided that i wasn't going to be able to sleep any more tonight.<p>

I dressed in silence as best as I could, managing to keep from waking the entire room, and slipped out into the hall before I considered my options.

"Can't sleep either?" Jenny Goldstein asked from my left.

I glanced in her direction, and shrugged. "Says the one who's shift ended a few hours ago. Shouldn't you be counting sheep by now?"

Jenny's face screwed up in annoyance, her nose wrinkling. "Why, yes, Grandpa, I'll get right on that. Why don't you come down to the cargo bay and try and tell me that."

I huffed out a little laugh, a wry smile on my lips. "Alright. You're on."

Jenny blinked, surprise registering on her features. "Um, okay. I mean, if you are up to." A little bit of humor flickered in her expression as a sly smile crossed her face. "Sure your pride can handle it?"

"I'll manage," I said, and punched the down command for the elevator.

The matts lay where we had left them before, and I strode to the far side of one, and leaned down to start stretching. Jenny mirrored me, crouching to one side, then the other, watching me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked finally, straightening up as she did.

A wave of nausea crashed over me, and I froze mid stretch as I fought down images that played in my head like some kind of demented old movie, grainy and flickering. I straightened slowly and faced her squarely. "No. At least, not yet." I rolled my shoulder, and felt something pop, the twinge of discomfort vanishing. With that relief, I let my voice get softer. "I can't get the images out of my head as it is. So my options are let my nightmares crush me, or I keep moving till I can face them."

Jenny watched me, her gaze unreadable as she nodded. She dropped into a loose ready stance. I couldn't tell if she agreed , but at least she didn't seem inclined to press the issue. "Ready?"

I felt my heart start to speed up as I shoved away the fear and horror, allowing excitement and resolve to slip in it's place. I relaxed into my own ready pose as I considered that shift in my emotions. I didn't know what tomorrow would be like, what new strange things I would run into. But that was okay.I'd deal. The words my subconscious had said in the last moments of the dream came back to me, and I smiled just a little. I wasn't alone.

I brought my hands up and nodded. "Ready."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong>And this is about 3 weeks later than i had planned...suppose that is just life. I'm sorry this took so long to get out. I was struggling to find how I wanted to do this, and went through a couple renditions before i finally settled on this version. That said, the next chapter is flowing along nicely at the moment, so should be muuuuuuch sooner. _

_In other news, if you read my other stories, bit of an announce: I'm going to be focusing on finish Displacement, before I seriously work on the rest of my projects. The new computer is shiney, but it's not nearly as conducive to writing as the laptop, and between that, and some other just general life/work stuff, I've had less time to write. Working on and finishing aproject seems the best way to go about it. That said, I'm gona finish all the "in progress" chapters i already started, and post them asap, but after that, it's gona be sprinting with Displacement till it's done. :) _

_Thanks for reading/putting up with me, and hope you enjoy! _


	22. Chapter 22 - Bureaucracy

I leaned my back against the wall of the _Normandy_'s bridge, closed my eyes, and tried to keep from fidgeting. This would be my sixth time being slingshot across space, and while everyone else on the ship seemed to barely notice them, each relay jump continued to leave me shaky and unsteady, like I'd run a five minute mile in the intervening moment. At least while I was awake. I apparently could sleep through them just fine, but that really didn't surprise me. I could sleep through the apocalypse.

"Man, you need to learn to just relax. You look as tense as Garrus did when we told him that Grunt had borrowed his rifle to pry open a crate of noodles," Joker said from his seat at the helm. He turned to look at him, the seat rotating. "Or maybe Shepard when Gardner said we were out of coffee."

I gave him a serious look, my voice stern, despite the smile that tried to curl up the corner of my mouth. "Being out of coffee is a serious concern."

Joker snorted derisively, and the seat turned back to the console. "Why are you up here, anyway? Not that I care, just curious."

"Being here to see it coming is better than it sneaking up on me," I answered and glanced out the window at the rapidly approaching Relay, the central rings spinning and circling as Joker brought us along side. I felt myself tense up as we rushed closer, a completely involuntary reaction to what I knew was coming.

The massive station flashed by us as the energy tethers caught the _Normandy_, and my hands tightened to a white-knuckled grip on the console near me. The world compressed, then snapped forward in a blur of light and motion.

Every muscle in my body seemed to collectively flinch, tightening in something just that didn't quite reach charley horse level. I forced myself to slowly unwind, as I straightened up. "God, I really, really hate that."

"Once you do it a couple hundred more times, you'll get used to it. Just be glad we didn't have any in rapid succession. Those make you get all tingly." Joker sniped back at me in a tone that contained entirely too much cheer.

I scowled at the back of his head, and briefly entertained the mad notion of banging his forehead into the viewport a few times, but discarded the idea. My luck his skull would be the only bone in his body that wasn't glass-like, and he'd just bounce right off. I opened my mouth to come back with a verbal salvo instead, but stopped as the _Normandy_ came out and around a purple arm of a nebula, and into sight of The Citadel.

The Citadel. I'd considered the name to be a bit pretentious, like someone naming their ship "Invincible" or something. But as we continued to get closer, the sense of scale slowly started to sink in. "That … how big is …"

EDI's voice chimed from one side, the holographic interface flickering to life. "The Citadel Station is approximately 44.7km long, with an open diameter of 12.8km. Estimated population, 13.2 million individuals."

I stared out the viewport as the station continued to grow in size, and tried to put that in perspective, and just couldn't. "You're telling me that there are more people on the Citadel than the largest city I've ever been in?"

"Actually, the Citadel's current population is over double that of the State of Indiana from 2013, when you disappeared," EDI calmly added.

I turned slowly to stare across the room at EDI's hologram as I tried, and failed, to make that bit of information compute.

"Welcome to the big scary universe," Joker said. He looked back at me. "Speaking of, heard you are sorta going public."

I shook myself, forcing myself to come back down long enough to answer. "If you mean that Shepard told the Council the whole story, yeah. I'm hoping that it doesn't go any farther than that. I don't really feel like becoming a tourist attraction."

"Yeah, good luck on that. You're gonna end up with your own vid series or something." Joker leaned back, spreading his hands wide in a flourish. "The Iceman on the Citadel. I can see it now."

I let the disgust _that_ little suggestion brought to mind play across my face. "Friend's don't let friends get put on reality shows.

"No promises, we aren't that close yet. Making a profit off suggesting that name is totally within the bounds of our current relationship," Joker answered, before turning back to his console.

I took advantage of his distraction to look back out the view port on the right side. A cluster of flickering lights that I'd thought to be stars shifted, their light flickering as I realized they weren't stars, but the blue flare of a ships engines. I kept watching as we drew closer, the distance shrinking till I could start to make out other details as well.

It reminded me of a cruise ship, the kind that you'd always hope about winning a trip to the Bahamas on. Multiple levels with rows and rows of windows lined it's sides, broken up here and there by white and blue hull segments. A series of larger viewports seemed to have been placed directly in the middle of the ship, orange-gold light making it differ from the more simple white lights the rest of vessel used.

Behind me, I heard Joker's seat turn, and I glanced back. He waved one hand at the ship, still getting larger as we closed the distance. "Oh, I see how it is. You see a bigger one and are totally planning on running off. Not cool, man. Not cool."

I couldn't have stopped the eye-roll if I'd wanted to. "What is it?"

Joker waved a hand at his view screen and a new glowing window appeared. He fiddled with the display a second, squinting at the small text. "Uh, the Immanis. Civilian cruise vessel, owned by the Syndra-Lux Foundation."

"Crew capacity of 2,300, passenger capacity of up to 4,000," EDI chimed in, almost like she didn't want to be outdone. "The _Immanis _is one of the largest of type, and currently completing it's second major galactic tour which will complete with it's arrival at Earth."

That's when it really began to sink in. While I stared out the window at the blue drive trails of the _Immanis_, that this wasn't just one ship, one station, and a random city. This wasn't a bunch of people all dressed up for a costume contest, or convention. This was a _universe_. This was every sci-fi movie and story I'd ever seen and read and imagined. Aliens and space travel and strange new worlds, new civilizations.

People throw around words like "awesome" and "amazing" for little things, and forget the scale sometimes. I stared out the window, turning to look up at a new ship, taking in it's sharp angles and almost serrated shape. Then to a third ship that looked like someone had strung a series of circles together.

This was _awesome_.

Jokers fingers flicked the controls, "Citadel Tower, this is SSV _Normandy_. Requesting landing clearance."

I turned away, and headed back down the length of the CIC, leaving Joker to work as I started for myself to run over what Shepard had explained the night before. In theory, the loophole we were going to exploit was a simple one, but if the Citadel Security guy was late, it could be bad.

_Please don't be late._

* * *

><p>"You look like you're going to a firing squad," muttered Shepard as we walked down the ramp from the now docked <em>Normandy<em>. "Relax, and remember what I told you."

I savagely suppressed the instinctive sarcastic comment that tried to escape, and nodded instead as our booted heels rang on the metal ramp. Garrus led the way by a few feet, his armored form a bastion between us and everyone else. Combined with Shepard on my left, and Dr. Chakwas and Mordin trailing behind, it felt like an escort.

Or a prison detail, whispered a cynical part of my mind. I shoved that voice into the same box with my sarcasm, and the rest of my dark thoughts. It had to be getting crowded in there.

As we descended, new sights and visuals pulled my attention in half a dozen different directions at the same time. Running lights and beacons flashed all down the docking bay, and my pace slowed as I stared at a dozen different ships of varying shapes and sizes. None of them looked even close to the _Normandy_, my only baseline for such things.

Dr. Chakwas brushed my elbow glancing at me as she slipped past. "If your eyes get any wider, I'm going to begin to suspect you were pilfering my narcotic supplies."

"No thanks. I've had enough of those already for a while." I turned back, forcing my attention to the small group of people who had gathered at the base of the ramp.

Seven people were grouped together at the base of the ramp waiting for us, though four of them looked like they had been copied from some kind of mold. I looked over the four guards, but their alliance issued armor hid any meaningful details about them. The rather large rifles certainly lent them an air of hostility, even with them standing relaxed.

The other three individuals though, were a study in contrasts. The guards were just background, these were the ones I needed to pay attention to. Shepard had told me a little about who he expected, and from his descriptions, I could place two them as Admiral Anderson and Councilor Udina, but the third and last individual didn't ring any bells in my memory.

Whoever he was though, Shepard clearly recognized him. The commander's relaxed posture shifted, gaining an almost leonine grace as he stepped off the ramp. Whoever this guy was or represented, it felt like trouble.

Udina stepped forward, eclipsing the others with him, a haughty and self-satisfied smile on his face. "Ah, Commander. It's good of you to finally join us. I take it that this is our, ah, guest?"

Something in the way he said "guest" made me translate the word to "prisoner" and a variety of other similar and equally unfriendly meanings. I stepped off the ramp, side-stepping so I didn't have get any closer than I had to, and tried to squash the growing tension that had settled in a knot between my shoulder blades as I watched the goings on.

Shepard didn't answer right away, instead giving Earth's Councilor a short nod, before stepping past him and extending a hand to the solid and steady presence of Admiral Anderson.

If Udina could be described as pale, thin and sharp, Admiral David Anderson would be his polar opposite, and not just in appearance. His hand clasped Shepard's and his warm voice seemed to rumble as he spoke. "Good to see you, son. Though next time you decide to go on a mission that could be a one way trip, call, don't write."

Shepard smiled, releasing the others hand. "Will do my best, sir. They'd taken our people though, so we were a bit rushed."

Anderson nodded, and glanced over at the Councilor pointedly. Udina for his part, looked like he'd swallowed something particularly slimy and unpleasant.

Shepard turned back to Udina. "Councilor, this is Mr. Micah Moore. The individual who we _rescued_ from the Collectors when we assaulted their base." His voice took on an edge, and he glanced towards third person standing there. "He saved the lives of some of my people."

The third man frowned slightly and looked in my direction, dark eyes evaluating. I glanced back, meeting his gaze for a moment, desperately wishing I knew who this guy was. Dark hair and a square jaw gave him an impression of solid strength, like Anderson exuded, but something in his stance set him apart.

Or at least I thought that till Chakwas side stepped the Councilor and Ambassador, passing them like they weren't even there. "Lt. Alenko. My god, it's good to see you."

The distrust in his stance faltered, and Alenko smiled at the doctor. "It's been a while, Doc."

I tried to follow both sets of conversations, as Shepard, Udina and Anderson stepped to one side, while Chakwas and Alenko moved in the opposite direction, but ended up only getting bits and pieces of both.

"Interesting. Lieutenant's presence unexpected," Mordin said quietly as he clasped his hands behind him. "Very interesting."

I let my voice drop to match his, glancing again towards Dr. Chakwas and Alenko. "Who is he?"

"Former crew member of original _Normandy_. Encountered on Horizon. Seemed … upset. Distrusted Cerberus, with good reasons." Mordin shrugged, and looked towards the other group. "Not primary concern. Excuse me."

As Mordin moved away, joining the conversation with Shepard and the other Alliance officials, I heard Udina's voice rise angrily. "No. Until he can be examined and determined to not be a threat to the Alliance, he can not be allowed to—"

Shepard bristled. "He saved the lives—"

"Commander, I will not allow a threat to the Alliance to meander around the Citadel. We have worked too hard to get to where we are." Udina turned towards me, and pointed. "Lieutenant Alenko, please—"

I felt every muscle in my body tense, my adrenaline surging in a fight or flight response, but this time Mordin cut the Councilor off by shoving a data pad into the councilors hands. "Please examine. Will find all precautions taken, as well as … adequate credentials. Patient not a threat to Alliance."

"And what gives you—" Udina sputtered as he tried to gather steam again, but Mordin pressed on like some kind of unstoppable force of nature.

The ships resident scientist salarian reached over and pushed something on the datapad. "See, full spectrum biological and neurological scans clean. Submolecular analysis clean as well. All vital signs well within standard deviation for human."

"That's well and good," the councilor started again, but Mordin just kept going. I kept listening, but after ten seconds of Mording in full on caffeinated squirrel mode, I lost him. I looked at Shepard and Anderson as Udina's attempts to break into the became more frantic, and caught the barest of smiles from them.

_And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a delaying tactic._

"Enough!" snarled Udina, finally losing an pretense of calm and composure. "Not another word out of you. Not. One!" He flung out an arm, jabbing his finger in my direction. " Take him into custody, now. As for you Shepard, you are lucky you are not joining him."

A drawling voice sliced through the tirade with deceptive calm, and I jerked around as several uniformed individuals closed the last several feet, all wearing the distinctive blue and black of Citadel Security. "Councilor Udina, am I to understand you are in fact planning on detaining this young man?"

Udina's already red face darkened a few shades more. "Captain Bailey, your presence isn't required at this time. This is an internal matter of the System's Alliance."

"Ah, I see." Bailey looked towards Shepard, nodded once, then looked at me. "A System's Alliance matter. So, you are a Citizen of the Alliance?"

And here it was, the ball was in my court. Shepard had laid out the options in his quarters, and this was a giant loophole that we all prayed would work. I straightened up and tried to keep my voice steady. "No, sir. I am not."

Udina froze, his mouth still open as he started to protest again, looking like some kind of fish. His mouth snapped shut as his eyes widened and I could just see him trying to work though the arguments and rationales.

I didn't wait to find out if he could find a way around it. "Seeing as the System Alliance wasn't founded until 160 years after I was born, and I have not been back to Earth since it's founding, I am not, at this time, a Citizen of the Systems Alliance. Furthermore, I would to formally request asylum with the Citadel Council."

"This is preposterous!" Udina spun on Bailey, once more jabbing his finger in accusation, leaving me with the wish that someone would just break it off. "You can't be seriously considering this. He's human!"

"Councilor, unless you can show me proof that he is in fact an Alliance citizen, I'm afraid you don't have much of a leg to stand on. He's requested asylum, and denied his status as an Alliance citizen." Bailey shifted, tucking one of his thumbs into his belt. "If you would like, you can take it up with the Executor."

Udina sputtered one more time, then snarled something incoherent before starting to stalk away. Anderson tilted his head at the guards, and the four Alliance soldiers fell out, following in the general direction as the irate councilor. Alenko looked between Udina and the rest of us, and turned to follow the other soldiers. Anderson's expression fell into a frown at that, his eyes tracking Alenko's progress for several seconds before he turned his attention back to Shepard. "Son, I really hope you know what you are doing."

"So do I," Shepard said as they made their way over to me and Bailey. "Admiral, this is Mr. Moore. Micah, this is Admiral Anderson."

I took the admiral's offered hand. His grip felt just as strong and warm as his personality seemed to be. "Nice to meet you, sir. Sorry to be a problem."

"You aren't the problem, son. The ambassador is what you could call ill-tempered where Commander Shepard is concerned."

"And to think, you're the one that hit him, sir." Shepard's smile was anything but friendly as he looked after the retreating form of Udina. "Though at the rate things are going, I might yet get a chance."

Anderson frowned at him. "Commander, you're already on thin ice, and while I understand your reasons for it, antagonizing him won't help matters in any way. Don't."

"I only promise I won't go looking for a fight." He shrugged, some of the tension draining out of him as he did. "That's the best you're going to get from me."

"I suppose that will have to do."

"Excuse me, gentlemen, but if we could actually get back on track?" Bailey said, a hint of irritation creeping into his voice. "Now, I know you called in a favor to get the Executor to sign off on things, but if I don't keep all the ducks in a row, Udina will have my ass. So we need to go and get our friend here processed by the book."

My spine fused into a rigid line as I looked at him. "Processed?"

Bailey waved one hand in a dismissive gesture. "Relax. It'll be a few questions, and a few scans is all. Anyone who requests asylum with the Council goes through it. The difference is that you will already be approved by the time we get done instead of waiting on someone to get to the paper work."

Apparently my middle name should have been "Paranoia" because despite his assurances, I kept seeing flashes of a dissection table running in my mind. I jerked my head in a nod—the only response I was able to make—and followed Captain Bailey and his men onto the Citadel.

* * *

><p>"Well, his pulse and his blood pressure both are elevated far higher than I would expect to see in a human, but based on the readings that Dr Chakwas and Dr. Solus have taken, they don't appear to be at dangerous levels," the asari doctor on the other end of the call said, having to raise her voice to be heard over the background chatter. "There are a few other things have piqued my interest, but no, there isn't anything that I would think we need to worry about. "<p>

Captain Bailey nodded. "Thanks, Irina. Appreciate it."

"Anytime, Armando. I'll talk to you soon."

As the connection fizzled, I leaned back so I could see Bailey's face. "Armando?"

He turned towards me, his eyes fixing on me in place. I stared back at him, and felt my lips curl up into a smile. Once upon a time, a stare like that would have cracked me like an egg going into a skillet, but I'd spent too much time around Shepard and Zaeed. Armando Bailey's glare skipped off me and back out into space. He gave it about thirty seconds and snorted. "Shepard's made you a bit of a hard case I take it?"

I felt my lips twitched in response, the smile something I couldn't contain if I wanted to. "A little. He does tend to grow on you."

"Don't I know it." Bailey tapped a few more things on his screen, then turned back to me. "Alright Mr. Moore, you're free to go."

I blinked at him, and did my best to conceal the confusion. "Um, just like that?"

Bailey kept typing. "Just like that. I'll send you some information about getting a place to stay, though Shepard gave me the impression he had an idea already in mind." He looked back up at me, and nodded to the door of his office. "I think you've got some friend's waiting for you.

I rose from the seat that I'd been occupying, and turned toward the door. I took two steps before I paused and turned back to Bailey, offering my head. "Thank you. It seems you stepped out on a limb for me on someone else's word. I appreciate that."

Bailey looked up from his monitor, a startled expression crossing his features and gripped my hand. His voice seeming more gruff than before. "Welcome. Try to not get into too much trouble out there. First person they call will be me."

Mentally I classed him as a teddy bear, but I managed to keep my amusement mostly under wraps. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you."

I stepped out of the office, and looked for around, trying to orient myself when a waving hand caught my attention. I grinned as I spotted my welcoming committee, though it took me a moment to navigate the maze of desks and people to get to them. "What, are you guys the welcoming committee?"

"We were just here to take photo's if this was your big break as an intergalactic superstar," Ken said, grinning from ear to ear. "First photo's are extremely valuable."

Gabby elbowed him in the side, and turned back towards me. "How did it go? Everything work out?"

"I think so." I shrugged and glanced back over my shoulder at the rest of the Citadel Security Office. "I mean, I'm not locked up, I was told I could leave … I'm not exactly sure where to go though."

"I've got a few suggestions."

I turned towards Kelly's voice, feeling the ball of warmth in my chest go from cozy to smoldering in seconds. I smirked as I met her eyes. "I'm open to suggestions."

Her green eyes sparkled as she closed the last few feet to us, her omnitool flickering away as she closed it down. "Well, I was thinking a little recreation would be good. I heard they had a couple good vids showing at some of the theaters in Zakera Ward. How about we go check that out?"

Ken seemed to come alive, his bright and eager. "Oh! Yes, that's an excellent plan! They've got Alien Vampire Zombie Mutants from Planet X, I think. It's a classic, you have to see it!"

The excited engineer shot out the door, leaving me with Gabby and Kelly. Gabby rolled her eyes, but smiled, and started to trail after Ken. "I guess I know what we are seeing …."

"And I know what we're doing after," murmured Kelly, her hand slipping into mine. "You did ask me on a date. I'm thinking, that your first day on the Citadel would be the perfect opportunity."

I gave her hand a squeeze as we started out the door after our wayward engineers.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note: <strong>Hey, it moves! I might be kicking still! Sorry this took as long as it did. Things I've found out about this whole new writing setup: it's got waaay too many distractions floating around. I'm working on seeing if I can't move the desktop down to the other room where I can lock myself away like I used to do with the laptop, but which clearly had more success in the "progress" department. _

_A special thank you to the mighty Mizdirected for helping to kick this into shape. She continues to beta my stuff, though at times I think she's crazy for doing so. Without her, this wouldn't be nearly the quality that it is. Go read her stuff. Do it now! (Future Imperfect has one of the looniest, and most awesome, versions of Shepard i've encountered to date, and I love it. Even if it's author sends my poor brain into spirals with the wheels-within-wheels) _


	23. Chapter 23 - Chemistry

"I have no idea what we just watched," I said as we made our way out of the theater. "I mean, that …."

"Is proof that Kenneth is no longer allowed to pick movies," finished Gabby, her face a grimace of annoyance as she she stared after her partner in crime. "Ever."

"What are you knuckle-heads talking about! That is a work of art. A piece of artistic history!" Ken turned to towards us, walking backwards as he made broad sweeping gestures. "You clearly just don't appreciate the refined tastes required of a good horror movie."

"Ken, I'm pretty sure that was an actual crime against cinematography," Kelly said, shaking her head as she fell into step with me. Our fingers brushed each other, and I caught her hand in mine. Kelly glanced at me, a smile tugging her lips up at the corners.

"Uncultured philistines," Ken responded piously, his chin tilted up in a haughty expression of indignation. He spun away, keeping his pace measured to stay ahead of us as we made our way onto the main walkway.

Gabby glanced at us and rolled her eyes, before she took a few quick steps to catch up to Ken, looping her arm through his. He started, jerking in surprise before relaxing and continuing on, Gabby in tow.

"I wonder if he realizes that Gabby is leading him, and not the other way around," I murmured to Kelly. She didn't answer, and I looked at her as I tried to figure out if she'd heard me or not. Her smile had stayed though, and I realized that our pace had slowed dramatically. I chuckled, my cheeks warming. _Pot, meet Kettle, apparently._

Gabby kept Ken moving ahead and around the corner, probably off somewhere to keep him out of trouble, and Kelly led me in nearly the opposite direction, taking us over another skywalk. "I assume that Gabby running off with Ken was actually your idea?"

Kelly turned a completely guileless expression in my direction, so innocent looking that if I hadn't seen the transformation from that satisfied smirk, I wouldn't have been able to tell. She looked up at me. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"And I'm a fifteen foot tall cyborg." I looked around as the walkway deposited us on a much busier … street? It seemed like the right word, but when all the cars instead flew, it didn't seem right to call it that. I shook away the thought as we kept going. Kelly clearly had a destination in mind though, and picked her way through the crowd of people. It gave me a chance to sightsee.

Whereas Omega had been like stepping into a very rigidly defined city with highly specific borders, this part of the Citadel felt like a complete mishmash by comparison. Everywhere I looked were aliens of different shapes and sizes. Elcor, Volus, Asari, Quarians, Turians, Batarians, Salarians. Species of beings that I hadn't read about moved through the crowds in little clusters together, islands in a sea of other sapient life. The Citadel felt like a riot of colors and sounds and shapes, almost to the point of being claustrophobic.

With almost no warning, Kelly turned again, guiding me down a different cross walk, and away from the majority of the crowd. She glanced at her omnitool periodically, checking her directions. I guessed.

"So, um. where are we going?" I finally ventured as we paused at one corner.

"Hmm?" Kelly glanced towards me, "Oh, um … there was a place that I found. I thought it might be something you'd like."

I looked around, but the bustling corridors around us didn't give me any clue what that might be. I focused back on her, just as she nodded to one side.

"Almost there. It's just a little place, but everything I could find said it was really good." She shrugged, just a hint of color showing in her cheeks. "I'm really hoping so at least."

Something about her sudden uncertainty settled some of the butterflies in my stomach, and I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. I winked at her. "At this point, I'm fairly certain you know I'm not a picky eater, so I'm sure it'll be fine. Though I'm curious as hell."

"Well, you'll just have to be patient." Her eyes twinkled a mischievous light.

I got the distinct impression that she wasn't just referring to the food, and my mouth went dry as my imagination played through a number of possible—and interesting—interpretations. I tried to say something, but my tongue felt like someone had superglued it to the bottom of my mouth.

_Dear god. What are you, a neanderthal? _

I squashed down my inner cave man just as we stopped in front of a glowing green sign that just said "Mac's" on it, decorated with a four leaf clover in the upper right corner. I stared at the sign, my poor overloaded brain chugging along as I tried to decide just what fragment of my past was trying to jam itself into the present.

Kelly started forward, but stopped when I didn't move, her expression once again uncertain, worry lines creasing her brow. "What?"

I stared up at the sign for few seconds longer as several memories congealed, and I glued them together bit by bit. I shook my head. "Just … remembering. One of my friends ..." I trailed off. Nick had been dead for what, 200 hundred years? And Stephanie right with him. How many times had I spent a weekend evening at supper with Stephanie, teasing Nick as he waited on us, and him giving as good as he got. I shook my head sharply, as if I could shake the memories off with a physical effort. "I had a friend who used to work at a place called Nine Irish Brothers. They had a clover like that on their logo. Just … kicked up memories." I shook my head one more time, then looked over at Kelly, trying to smile reassuringly. "Just memories. I'll be fine, just didn't expect them to come welling up like that."

Kelly's face had taken on a unhappy, almost crestfallen look. "Oh, I … well, I had some of the stuff from what EDI had pulled … and I thought…." She bit her lip, clearly torn by what she thought as a failure of some kind.

I let go of her hand and turned to face her, my hands rising to cup her cheeks and tilt her head up to meet my lips. It wasn't the fiery frantic kiss we had shared on Purgatory. This was something deeper, more measured and patient.

When I leaned back, the uncertainty in her expression had vanished and been replaced by a pleased flush. "Well. That … um…."

I smiled as I took her hand again, and let Kelly lead me into the bar as I swam against the miasma of memories that tried to drown me. It wasn't just that it looked similar. It could have _been _Nine Irish. The sounds, the smells, even the just slightly too warm temperature of the room. Everything about this place seemed geared to trigger one memory after another till I couldn't tell one from another.

I squeezed Kelly's hand as the hostess led us to a table, grasping for the physical contact like a life preserver.

"Are you alright?" Kelly leaned in over the table, her expression strained, her hand tightening on mine as I took my seat.

I thought about the question for a moment, giving myself a chance to give an honest, thought out answer. "Yeah. I think I am. Just …." I waved around the room with a free hand. "I've spent, what, almost a month and a half doing the whole 'this is the world now' routine. I'm just starting to really get it, you know? And this place … I spent so much time in place like this. I don't even know where to start." I squeezed her hand once more and made myself relax, easing some of the built up tension out in an effort of will. Then a thought hit me and I started laughing.

Kelly froze, her worried expression locked in place by confusion at my sudden emotional zigzag. I grinned at her. "It occurs to me, that this is not the first time I've been on a date in an old world style pub."

The worry flashed away instantly into a warm smile, and Kelly leaned back, touching something on table that made a holographic menu hover just above the surface in front of us. "Well, you'll have to compare how that one went with this after we are done." Green eyes flickered with amusement. "I'm sure I can make it more enjoyable."

I'm pretty sure my cheeks started to turn red, but I grinned at her through the embarrassment. "I can honestly say, you have my full attention."

"Good. Though I've got to admit, I'm finding it really hard to ask work related questions." She looked away, glancing at the handful of people in the pub. Most of the others people in the room were human, but a pair of asari had taken their own table in the corner, and a salarian sat with his back to the wall, digging furiously into his meal. He gave the impression that someone was getting ready to take it away, and intended to finish before they could get the chance to do so.

I looked away, and tapped one of the holographic selections on the menu. "Well, tonight we are not working. Not that most of what I do on the _Normandy _is really what I call work, but you get the picture." I looked at her passed the menu. "Though I hope you get paid, because last I checked, I don't exactly get a paycheck … and I assume food in a restaurant still costs money."

Kelly laughed again. "You can owe me on this one. Though, I think, that you actually have been set up with an account and some funds."

That made my eyebrows go up. "Um, okay? I suppose that's good, but a little weird."

"Why?"

The simple confusion in her tone made me stop and think. Why indeed? I frowned and leaned back as Kelly made her own selection and holographic menu vanished. She stared at me intently as I thought. "I guess, because I'm not really qualified. I mean, yes, Ken and Gabby have been teaching me, and even Tali's worked with me some, but I'm not trained. Not really."

"And what would make you qualified? A degree? A certification?" Kelly asked. It was a challenge, I could tell, but her tone wasn't hostile, just intent.

"I … maybe?"

She just stared at me, waiting. I tried to gel a few more individual brain cells together in the hopes that their combined might work a bit more like a brain. It must have sort of worked, because a line of thought wormed it's way to the front of my brain. "I spent the first half of my life working towards my education. I graduated high school and college with the thought I would some day get a job and use that degree. It's … odd to imagine a place where you don't need something like that to get a job."

"Well, I wouldn't call it a job as much as an apprenticeship, but I think you might be surprised. Ken and Gabby said that are doing a great job and learning everything they give you." She smirked. "Though Ken did say you need to respect electricity a bit more."

"Ken just doesn't like the idea of living on the edge." Movement out of the corner of my eye made me turn my head, and I watched as the bartender started setting out plates and food. My stomach growled suddenly as the smell of fried fish assaulted my senses, and my mouth started to water.

"Or maybe you should be more careful. If you end up in Medical one more time, Karin is probably going to start charging you." Kelly grinned and folded her hands together. "Though to be honest, I'm kind of tired of ending up there myself."

"You and me both." I eyed the approaching server and the pair of plates in his hand as my stomach growled loud enough I was sure Kelly could hear it. Not that there was much I could do about it, but still. The server set the plates down and nodded at us, leaving us to the food.

I tugged mine towards me, and didn't even bother to try and fight the hunger. "You know, I didn't even think it was possible to get fish and chips out here. It just seems so …." I paused, fork in hand, trying to rattle loose the right word. "I guess, just too much like home."

Kelly smiled as she took a bite of her shepherd's pie. "We're on the Citadel. You can find most anything here if you look hard enough." A beep chimed from her wrist, and she looked down at her wrist, her brow creasing as she pulled up a message. "Um. Well, that's …." She trailed off, still reading. "I guess we are staying a while. On the Citadel I mean."

I paused, frowning. "I thought that was the idea anyway? I mean, I was under the impression I was going to be here awhile. Hopefully not alone, but …." I shrugged, the muscles in my neck tightening. I didn't like that thought at all. And I really wouldn't like Kelly leaving.

Kelly shook her head, and leaned over, holding her omnitool out so I could see message as well. "We are staying." She pointed at the list of names. "Garrus, Jacob, and Mordin are all staying as well. As well as Jenny, and a couple others."

The spring coiling in my neck relaxed a fraction, but didn't release entirely as I eased back, picking at my food. There wasn't anything wrong with it—quite the opposite really—but even the thought of being left alone seemed to have ripped the taste out of the food.

"Sorry, I kind of thought that was obvious." Kelly reached over, her hand squeezing mine. "I'm not gonna leave you on your own. None of us are. That wouldn't be right."

I didn't look up, just picking at the food with my fork. "Sorry. I'm kind of killing the mood I guess."

"You are still dealing. So am I, honestly."

I looked up at her sharply, catching the hint of a flurry of emotions in her expression. Pain, worry, fear, confusion. Kelly smoothed the expression away as he resumed her meal. She smiled, her voice taking on a wry a tint. "I'm on a date with someone who was born before humans figured out interstellar flight. It sounds like the plot of a bad movie."

"Oh god, don't mention movies. I'm still trying to erase the travesty we survived earlier from my mind." I shook my head and started back in on my meal, skewering a flakey bit of fried fish. I paused mid motion, and eyed it suspiciously. "You know, it dawns on me that I have no idea what _kind_ of fish I'm eating."

Kelly laughed, half choking on her latest bite. "I think it's technically from Eden Prime, but it's still a kind of whitefish, I think. So nothing too different from the real thing."

I rolled piece of fish over on the fork, watching a bit of batter fall off.. "I feel like I should be judging it and loudly declaring it's inferiority now, just out of loyalty."

She eyed me. "I would recommend just eating it instead."

I grinned and munched happily on the crispy goodness. It might not be from Earth, but I couldn't tell, and that was good enough for me. "Okay, so, we are on a date. And I still don't know all that much about you, relatively speaking."

"Well, you know we both at least have some taste in what makes a good movie. Or at least how to avoid a really really bad one." She grinned as my face scrunched up in disgust.

"I probably should have guessed it when I saw the name, but dear god, that was just … I mean the bit with the Krogan and the trash compactor? What made any of that a good idea." I shook my head. "We are going to have another movie night, and Ken is going to get to suffer through the biggest chick flick we can find."

Kelly froze for a moment, her eyes widening. "Um, I beg your pardon?"

That made it my turn to freeze. "Uh … chick flick? Romance? I mean, I assume they make those still."

Kelly started giggling, her cheeks turning pink. "Oh good. God, That was … that means something very, very different now."

"I am almost afraid to ask." I finished the last bit of my dinner and pushed the plate aside. "Though we got a bit off topic. So I say we find somewhere to take a walk, where I can gawk at the cool things and actually talk."

"I think I can live with that suggestion. And I think I have an idea where to go, though we'll need to take a cab." Kelly grinned, popping up from the table, flashing her omnitool over the table in a little sweep that seemed routine.

I stood up more slowly looking around. "Um, do we need to pay or …." I let myself trail off, embarrassed. I might be considered old fashion on a number of levels, but normally when I'd been on a date, I paid for the meal. Considering that unless I was greatly mistaken, I was probably considered broke, that might be an issue now.

Kelly just stared at me for a second, not speaking. I looked between the table and her a few times before I got it. "You already paid, didn't you."

Her eyes sparkled as she nodded, a mischievous gleam lending her a almost fae-like expression, and I couldn't help but laugh. I offered her my hand, and the feeling of her fingers intertwining with mine didn't just feel good. It felt right.

We didn't say much on the ride to the Presidium, and I felt more than a little a little pride in the fact that I guessed our destination, at least after I figured out where we were in relation to Citadel's general design. It felt easy to get lost in the blur of lights and motion that made up the core of the Citadel's soul.

_That's a weird way to think of it. The soul of the Citadel is it's people, not the lights. Though I suppose most of those lights has a person behind it somewhere._

The cab settled on a landing pad to let us out, and Kelly led the way, tugging me along and over one of the many bridges that criss crossed the Presidium gardens. We turned left, our pace unhurried as I took in the sights. Despite the fact that the flora hailed from other worlds, it still felt familiar, at least on the surface. The trees and flowers had that carefully cultivated look gardens have when they are cared for by a small army of retainers. I smiled, imaging a krogan trying to trim the hedges. That would be an interesting picture.

"What?" Kelly asked, pulling my attention back to her.

"Just a little amusing mental imagery. Krogan gardeners." I grinned. "The thought of them trying to reach things to trim just makes me happy."

Kelly tried to cover the laugh, but couldn't keep the mirth out of her voice. "That's terrible!"

"But it's STILL funny. Just … lets not tell Grunt. I doubt he's got plans to pick up a secondary occupation as a florist, but something tells me he might not be as amused by the suggestion as I am." I looked around, letting my pace slow as I recognized the statue we were next to. I recognized it from some of the reading I'd done, but like so many things, seeing it in person gave it a much grander scope.

The monument of a massive krogan warrior loomed over us. an impressive work of art and detail. It didn't seem so much life-like, as much as it seemed like the statue could in fact roam around if it chose to. "History is an odd thing."

"Oh?"

I squeezed Kelly's hand in mine. "Just … maybe I've got a unique perspective, but I mean, in a couple of hundred years, this could be all that remains of the krogan, if things keep going the way they are. They won the war against the Rachni, and this might be the only thing left of them. It's strange, but I can kind of relate. I mean …" I paused trying to pick the right words. "No one remembers me. At least, not from before being thawed out. It's … I don't know. I feel like there should have been something left behind, but everything I knew seems to be gone." I shrug, not sure how to proceed. "Just … it's odd."

"Not so odd. And you do have people who will remember you." Kelly leaned against me, her chin on my shoulder, though she had to lean up on her toes to do it.

"I do now. But will they?" I waved my free hand at the statue. "I mean, everything I've read so far …. "

"I think maybe you are trying to take the world on your shoulders," Kelly said, cutting me off. "And I think you are missing another key point." She stopped walking, pulling me around to face her. Her eyes were very green as I met her stare. "You are still here here. You can still make choices."

I closed my eyes, and my hand tightened on hers. "Maybe."

Kelly started to say something, but her omnitool chirped. I opened my eyes just in time to catch the flash of frustration in her expression as she let go so she could answer the incoming call. Her expression flickered through a moment of shock as the video appeared, and I stepped to one side so I could see the rugged face of Anderson

"Ms. Chambers, I'm Admiral Anderson. I understand you are currently with Mr. Moore?"

"I ... Yes, sir. We are on the Presidium grounds at the moment." She looked up at me, and waved me closer, and I shifted a little farther so we both were picked up on the feed.

Andersons gaze shifted from Kelly to me. "Ah, good. Commander Shepard will departing with the _Normandy_ in about an hour. Due to the nature of your situation, he requested I make arrangements for a place for you to stay while on the Citadel. If you and Ms. Chambers could meet me at the Embassy, we'll get you settled."

"Yes, sir. We'll be right there, sir." Kelly waited for a moment as the Alliance admiral cut his side of the call, then looked at me, her eye a little wide. "I guess we are going to the Embassy now."

I smiled and caught her hand again as we turned to start back towards the skycars. "On one condition."

"And that would be?"

I added as much feigned innocence into my tone as I could, and tried—unsuccessfully—to get rid of the smile. "That we try this date thing a second time. Preferably without interruptions." I glanced at her and winked. "Omni's set to silent for the duration, perhaps."

Kelly's grin lit up her face. "I think I could agree to that."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN**: Been a while. My apologies on that, life happens and I admit I've been distracted a lot lately. I've started the next one (and have a clear idea what I wanna do with it, unlike how this one went) so should have it much sooner. _

_On another note: Considering the events of last night, I feel appropriate that this chapter be dedicated to my coworker Kimberly Squire. I didn't know you as well as I should have gotten to, and now I regret I won't get the chance. Angels guide you to something better. _


	24. Chapter 24 - Usurper

"Jacob, you've got to see this place later. The view from the living room is amazing. It's on the ... Silversun Stripe?" I wiped the back of my hand across my forehead, clearing sweat from my face, and picked myself up from the practice mat. "After being stuffed into the top cot in the crew quarters, I feel like we should be cramming like a hundred more people into that place. It's just Anderson and me, and I've seen him maybe twice so far."

Jacob chuckled, stretching both his arms over his head. "From what I know of him, the old man doesn't really take breaks, though I'm sure he'd rather be on a ship than behind a desk. We still practicing though, or we done for now?"

I shook my head and straightened, my hands on the small of my back in a stretch. God, I was a glutton for punishment, apparently. I let my hands drop to my side as I stepped back to my side of the mat and waited.

Jacob looked me up and down with what I could only call a critical expression. "Hang on. I got a question, if you don't mind."

I shrugged, though a little voice in the back of my head sighed in relief at the temporary reprieve.

"Why?" Jacob asked. "Why are you pushing yourself like this? You aren't a soldier, not yet. And I can't make you one in a month, but the way you are pushing, I wouldn't be surprised if that was your goal. The only person I've seen latch onto something like this is Shepard after he got the Collector intel from the Illusive Man, and he got to the point I almost wanted to call him Ahab."

I hesitated, getting my thoughts organized. I would have expected that kind of question from Kelly, or Gabby. From Jacob it took me a moment to orient myself, but I knew the answer to his question. "I don't think you need to worry about any white whales." I stretched, pulling one arm across my chest to keep loose. "Have you ever been helpless before? Completely incapable of helping yourself?"

Jacob shook his head. "Naw. Tough spots, but I can't say I've been that deep before."

I let my arms drop, fighting the tension turned my neck and shoulders to granite every time I thought about waking up in the pod. "Neither had I, until you all pulled me out. And now I'm here." I gestured around us, encompassing not just the room, but everything. " And since I was thawed out, I've been punched, stabbed, and nearly shot. I've had two attempts to kidnap me, one of which succeeded, and I'm tired of it. I'm done being prey."

Jacob stared at me for a few more seconds before he nodded and took his place on the other side of the mat. "In that case, keep moving and watch your balance. Your footwork was sloppy that last time."

I nodded and glanced down, adjusting my stance a bit and brought my hands up into s guard position. The former Cerberus operative only gave me about a half second warning and then blurred towards me on the attack.

We'd been working on variations of this exercise for over an hour, and my objective was simple: avoid getting hit or grappled. Which in a fight is generally a good principle; if they can't hit you, they can't kill you. In practice however, it's nearly unattainable. In a fight, you are going to get hit. My job in this exercise, was to prevent Jacob from getting me a "dead" position for as long as possible.

He didn't play around. On the other hand, I'd been paying attention.

Jacob stutter-stepped just before reaching me, faking a punch, and tried to turn it into a grab instead. I danced to the side, one hand slapping his arm away and I kept moving, circling towards the center of the mat to buy myself maneuvering room.

He flashed me an approving smile, but then his face closed down in that serious blank expression that roughly translated into "Your face is about to impact with my fist". He didn't disappoint. This time, his blows blurred towards me at full speed and I only managed to bob away from two before I had to block He closed and I one of his hands latched onto my wrist.

_Not this time_.

I jerked him toward me, using his grip against him as I ducked and drove my shoulder into his sternum. Jacob grunted and let go, but I had the initiative for once. I stepped in, slapping one of his hands wide and drove one fist at his chest like I intended to pile drive through him. I had the satisfaction of seeing his eyes widen as he snapped into a block and counterattack. For about five very long seconds, we went back and forth in a series of attacks and counter attacks that I couldn't have repeated except by muscle memory.

And then, he cheated.

I had what felt like eternity to think about my mistake as I floated up off the practice floor, tumbling over in a sickeningly slow glide that promised to make me sick if it kept up. I'd never said he couldn't use his biotics, but I didn't have biotics, so why would he? I sighed. Life simply was not fair.

Jacob cut the field that held me, and I dropped to the mat with a whump from three feet off the ground. I lay there and growled in frustration, making a point to not look in his direction. A dry chuckle from across the room pulled my attention that way, and I scowled at the tall shape of Garrus as he lounged against the wall. I growled at him too. "What are you laughing at, Chuckles?"

The turian snorted and his mandibles shifted into what I think passed for a turian smile. "Well, it looked like some kind of human flying lesson, but frankly, I think I've seen turians swim better."

I growled louder and pushed myself up to a sitting position, glaring in Jacob's direction too. He didn't bother to look even mildly embarrassed. "Jacob, remind me later to shove Garrus into the lake on the Presidium?"

The other man raised his hands. "I am an innocent bystander. You two wanna have a lover's spat, by all means. I am not gonna get in the middle."

I rolled my eyes and got my feet under me. "Since I'm not giving you swimming lessons yet, what's up, Garrus?"

Garrus pushed off the wall and flipped a token of some kind in my direction. His aim was a bit off, so I had to lean out to catch it, but managed to despite the half-hearted attempt. I glanced down, flipping it over in my hand as I examined the quarter sized coin. It had some kind of rifle in the center, with a ring of stars around the outside edge. "Okay, I'll bite. What's this?"

"Armax Arsenal Arena. I thought you might like something slightly more fun than getting kicked into a practice mat over and over." Garrus turned his gaze on Jacob. "What about you, feel like showing off for the cameras? I mean, you aren't as pretty as me, but I'm sure someone will point one in your direction occasionally."

"Garrus, you only wish you looked as good as me," Jacob shot back, though the smile took the edge out of it. "When you want this to go down, Scarface?"

I chuckled as Garrus slapped one hand over his heart in mock hurt. "Couple hours. I figured you two might want a chance to eat first before blowing away some holographic geth." He paused looking us both up and down. "Or, well, perhaps being carried by the handsome turian hero."

I rolled my eyes again. If I kept this up, I would end up developing a some kind of eye-rolling condition. Eye-don't-care-itis, perhaps. With that particular terrible pun still stomping around in the back of my mind I flipped the token in the air and caught it again, just to give my hands something to do. "I guess I'm game."

"Sure, why not. I like showing off as much as the next guy," Jacob said. He glanced my way, and his expression flickered a bit. Was that … amusement? He masked it almost faster than it appeared, but I shot another glance his direction anyway as I pocketed the token.

"What time tonight?" I asked, looking towards Garrus. "I'd kind of like a chance to get something to eat first."

The former C-Sec officer glanced at Jacob and shrugged. "Does 1700 sound okay?"

I glanced down at my omnitool and tried to mentally adjust my brain to the time change. Twenty-hour days were just bonkers. "So, about four hours? Works for me. I'm gonna go back and eat something, I think."

"You got a ride back?" Jacob asked as he tossed me a towel.

I managed to catch that as well, which all in all had me feeling okay about my hand-eye coordination, then nodded "If I don't give the baby sitters something to do, they'll feel all put out, and we can't have that. I'll see you guys there."

Garrus chuffed in amusement and Jacob winced in what I assumed was sympathy. "That bad?"

I rolled my eyes yet again. "Well, so far they haven't tried to follow me to the bathroom, but that might just be a matter of time."

* * *

><p>I slapped my hand through the lock command on the door with a frustrated growl and stomped into Anderson's apartment. It'd been less than a day, but already the extra security Anderson had arranged made me feel more claustrophobic than the <em>Normandy's <em>bunks had ever managed to. And considering that had been like sleeping in a shoebox, that was saying something.

I mentally shied away from the other half of that comment—that sleeping in the bunks had felt like sleeping in a coffin—and allowed myself to stomp somewhat childishly through the apartment to the kitchen. Angry was better than nervous, at least while there was no one here to watch me. I reached up, snagging a glass and then reached for the water pitcher.

"You know," a feminine voice said from behind me, "I don't think sulking really fits you."

My heart stopped for a quarter of a second as the voice slid along my nerves like cold steel, and I spun towards the sound, cracking my elbow on the fridge so hard it rattled my teeth. I barely felt it, my whole attention focused on on the silhouette of the woman, the lights from the windows the only real illumination in the room.

"That sounded like it hurt." She glided sideways, all smooth motion as she moved so the counter separated us. "So, you going to pour yourself a drink or just stand there holding it?"

I set the pitcher down and tried to hide my shaking hands by leaning forward on the counter. I recognized that voice, and mental alarm bells screeched for me to run like hell. I met her gold-green eyes and tried to keep my voice steady. "Alice Wake. I don't recall inviting you in."

Maybe if I snarked off long enough, she'd get bored and go away.

Amusement flickered across her face at my recognition, or possibly just the cheeky reaction. "You are a hard man to get to, Mr. Moore. I have to admit, I'm curious as to why."

The embers of my anger flickered, and I stoked that fire, fed fuel into the furnace of rage. Who did these people think they are, that they can just walk in and demand answers, demand compliance? I leaned a little closer over the counter, my jaw starting to ache from the building tension. "And I think you should go."

Alice, leaned closer instead, her elbows on the counter top. The last time I'd seen her, she'd been masquerading as a store clerk. This time she'd chosen red dress, cut in such a way that when she leaned forward like she had, it became very hard not to notice her décolletage. "But we've barely had a chance to talk. And I know Miranda isn't on the station at the moment, so she won't be walking in to interrupt us this time. Just you and me. So why don't we just have a nice little chat?" Her smile made me think of candy filled with razor blades, all sugar and sweet, and ready to cut my throat if I gave her the slightly provocation.

"Because I'm not interested in talking with you. I've done my reading. I'm aware of what Cerberus has done, and I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request," I snapped, keeping myself motionless. Last thing I needed would be for the scary operative to decide to that a perforated Micah fit Anderson's decor.

Her lips compressed into a thin line. "If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done it before you even walked into this apartment. Cerberus is not your enemy. But you clearly have some, if the events in Osun are any indication."

A voice in the back of my head started gibbering in horror, the flickering lights of Purgatory danced just on the edge of sight. The pungent smell of rot assaulted my nose, and bile rose in my throat. Something cracked and pain lanced through my palm, and I hissed, letting go of the broken glass. I stared down at my hand, scarlet welling from the slice in my palm, a sliver of glass still sticking out.

"That wasn't quite the reaction I expected," Alice murmured as she grasped my wrist, turning my palm up so she could examine it. She peered over it, before plucking out the fragment with two fingers, laying it on the counter.

I pulled away from her grip and stuck my hand under the tap, the cold water rinsing the blood and dulling the pain. "I don't care what reaction you were expecting," I growled at her, reaching for a towel. "Get out."

"Did you enjoy your movie? I'm not much of a horror fan myself." Alice lounged against the counter, still watching me with those flat, evaluating eyes.

She'd followed me? No. At least, not herself. But Cerberus most definitely was. I narrowed my eyes at her, saying nothing, just tightening the napkin around my hand.

The Cerberus agent considered me, resting her chin on her elbow, a thoughtful expression on her face. "You've changed since Illium. You're harder, but ... brittle."

"You are not here to discuss my mental state," I snapped at her. Brittle? What the hell did she mean by that? I didn't care, not right now. I turned toward the door.

"Are you really sure you want to do that? I've been polite up to this point. I _can_ stop, you know." Alice kept her tone light, but there was an edge to it, ready to cut. Eager, even. "I came here to talk to you. I would like to be able to say I manage to have a civil conversation.

"What do you want from me?" I said between gritted teeth. "You aren't going to convince me to come with you, so this conversation isn't going to go anywhere."

"You might be surpris— Alice started to say, but she cut off as the door chimed. Something feral came to life in her eyes, and before I could pull away, she had rounded the counter, her hand catching hold of my arm. I tried to pull away, but she clamped down hard, her expression cold as the void. "Whoever that is, get rid of them. If you try and turn me over to C-Sec, a lot of people are going to have to die."

"If I don't answer the door, C-Sec is going to get called anyway," I retorted, jerking my arm again. She let me go this time, and I turned my back on her, striding towards the door. The itch between my shoulder blades let me know Alice had stayed in my shadow. Right where she'd be able to stick a knife in me, probably.

I reached the door and my hand hesitated on the controls as I tried to word what I was going to say. It really depended on who it was, and if it was Anderson, I was going to have to dance real fast.

'_Cept it won't be Anderson, 'cause he wouldn't have to ring, you idiot._

The door hissed open, revealing Kelly in profile. She turned towards the sound, then froze in place, looking over my shoulder.

Staring at Alice was bad. That might be exactly the thing that would give Alice a reason to kill us all. Unfortunately, my brain and mouth seemed to take that moment to stop communicating. "Kelly, hey, uh …."

For several long seconds, no one moved or spoke. I glanced at Kelly, then at Alice, and a cold sweat broke out on my back as I frantically tried to come up with something, anything, that could deflect the oncoming shit storm.

Kelly could have passed for a mannequin, for all the expression on her face. She examined Alice from head to toe before speaking, her words clipped and icy. "Hi. Who are you, and how did you get in here?"

I opened my mouth, but Alice cut me off, drawling in a southern accent so thick I had trouble understanding her. She laid one hand on my arm. "Oh, hey, I'm Jaime. Friend of mine at the embassy said I just had to come up here and meet the Citadel's newest celebrity. I guess I should have expected not to get him all to myself."

Kelly's pretense of calm vanished, and she bristled as she stepped closer. Reaching out, she grabbed Alice's wrist, jerking her hand off my arm. "Bullshit. Get out, or I'm calling C-Sec."

Alice's mask slipped for a moment, her free hand twitching towards belt, but she regained her composure so fast it I almost missed it. Almost. "I'm a reporter for the Kir'nal News Network. Jaime Sullivan. I was hoping to get an exclusive."

Kelly's expression shifted to disgust, and she stepped to the side clearing the way to the door. "I think you should go."

Anger flickered behind Alice's eyes like viridian flame, but she reined it in. Examining first Kelly, then me with a detached, serpentine expression. A slow, understanding smile split her lips. "Oh, this just gets better and better. A little romance always sells better. Though, I'm sorry, I guess I'm interruptin'. I'll just get out of your way."

Alice sauntered through the open door, pausing as she turned to give us a slow, knowing wink. I growled, angry at Alice. Angry at myself. My finger mashed down on the lock command for the door, not that it had done a lot of good in the first place, but it was thought that mattered now.

Kelly glared—actually full-on glared—at the closed door like she could see Alice still on the other side. If looks could have killed, Alice would have been a pile of smoking ash. Kelly slowly turned towards me.

For being a fairly chipper person, Kelly had apparently been taking notes from Shepard's book on how to stare someone down.

That was about the point where I realized just how close the Reaper had come to knocking on the door with that scythe of his. Alice had threatened to kill whoever was on the other side of the door. She had threatened to kill Kelly. How close had we come to sliding off that particular precipice?

Kelly's features softened, her eyes scanning over my features. "You had no idea she was here, did you? She just showed up somehow?"

I nodded, and glanced back at the shadowed apartment. Every corner felt like something else could be hiding in the dark, and reached over, and punched the lights up to full. I scanned everything again, but no ninjas or assassins flew from above to shank me. No explosions. Actually extremely anti-climactic. Though the feeling of being watched didn't go away.

Kelly's hand on my arm made me jump, but when I turned back, her anger had faded out of existence. "You alright?"

I eyed the corners again, trying to quantify the feeling. At this point, paranoia didn't seem out of the question, but what if I wasn't just jumpy? What if Alice had left some surprises as well? I slid one hand behind Kelly's back, pulling her into a hug. "Yeah, I think so. Just not all right in the head."

Kelly tightened her grip on me a bit, then pushed away so she could pull her omnitool up. "I came up here because someone leaked some information. Turns out, you are now famous, or least, newsworthy."

"Er, I am?" I peered down at the words on the screen, flashing headlines intended to pull your attention to the story, and groaned. "God damn it …."

_Living, Pre-FTL Human Discovered offworld! _

_Ancient Human unfrozen from stasis, claims to have been kidnapped!_

_Rumors of alien abductions proven true: Pre-Spaceflight human found alive on Citadel!_

_The Oldest Man Alive: Stasis pod discovered by Earth System Alliance. _

Images accompanied the words, mostly what looked like security camera footage from the Citadel spacedocks, but they all had the same sensationalist feel you get with big new stories. I groaned. "Well, this is awkward."

Kelly laughed and lowered her arm. "I just wanted to prepare you. Though, it seems I was too late, if that … woman was any indication."

Had it been my imagination, or had her tone turned chilly there at the end? I tried to put it into her perspective, but my imagination kept dragging me back to thought of Alice riddling me full of holes instead, promptly followed by Kelly and a bevy of similar gruesome deaths. I shivered.

"You sure you're alright?"

I shook myself, and let my arms drop to my side, glancing one last time around the apartment. "Yeah. I mean, I think so. Just out of sorts now. And a little terrified to go outside." I hesitated, remembering the token in my pocket, and fished it out.

Kelly peered over at my hand, and the golden token there. "What's that?"

"I'm supposed to go and meet Jacob and Garrus at … Armass Arena?" I frowned. That wasn't right. "Armax Arena? Something like that."

"I thought you'd have had enough getting shot at for a while," Kelly said, her tone playful. She reached over and took the token. "What changed your mind?"

"Eh, I looked it up on the way over here. It sounds like laser tag, accept, you know, against holograms." I shrugged, and started back for the bathroom. "Should be fun."

"Holograms can't normally swat you into the ground. This will be fun to watch!"

I turned back, a sinking sensation in my stomach. "Uh … come again?"

Kelly started laughing.


	25. Chapter 25 - Hangover

"Round two in five, four, three, two, one."

I slid into cover behind one of the steel barricades that overlooked the rest of the arena, and checked the that I'd reloaded the rifle. Making a mistake once was one thing; running out of ammo and getting blown away a second, I might not live down.

The buzzer toned, indicating the start of the round. I popped my head up for a quick look around, only to have to immediately duck as several of the geth decided I was a conveniently placed target. Shot whizzed by, just inches from me.

"If you're gonna stay there, you might wanna try shooting back," buzzed Garrus in my ear. I glanced in his direction just long enough to see him dart forward from cover and into the maze of barricades on the lower level.

"I'd tell you to shut it, but I'm pretty sure you shoot better while running your mouth." I popped up, picked a target and squeezed the trigger, spraying fire down at a pair of geth. They'd oriented on Garrus as he moved, sitting ducks from my perch that exploded into very satisfying holographic bits as the shots connected. Something hit the platform, making my cover shake.

The whole experience combined excitement and terror in a way that I'd only previously felt while riding a roller coaster, and things seemed slow down as the adrenaline spiked.

Somewhere to my left, Jacob opened fire, the heavy whump of his shotgun a distinct counterpoint to the more rapid fire from the geth. The buzzing vibrations against my cover ceased and I moved, sliding farther down before repeating my previous maneuver, popping up and raining shots down.

Except, of course, I wasn't the only one moving. The simulated geth less than two feet from me turned and fired. At least one of the shots must have connected, because my armor jerked, a combination of force fields and internal motors flinging me back, my HUD flashing with damage warnings along my left side. Before my latest acquaintance could finish me off, he exploded into light.

"You're welcome. Now get up," Jacob said, confidence bordering on arrogance in his voice.

I slapped the "medi-gel" patch on my armor—no need for real medi-gel with only holographic bullets flying around—and rolled back back to my knees. It was definitely past time to find a new place to hide.

Light streaked past me as I flung myself towards the barricades Garrus had vanished behind, more shots slapping the area around me as I pressed my back against one.

"Hey, stay there a second, they're focusing in on you," Garrus said.

That, of course, set off alarm bells in my head and I peeked my head around the corner to see what he was talking about, jerking back as something bright flashed by my head less than a inch away.

Jacob laughed. "You know, I don't think that meant 'stick my face out so it can get shot'."

I gritted my teeth, tapped a setting on my rifle, stuck it around the corner and pulled the trigger. The resulting detonation nearly jerked the weapon from my hand, and popped a new clip in as the announcer roared out, "Double Kill!"

"I shoot better while running my mouth, he shoots better while angry," Garrus said, sounding amused. His rifled buzzed angrily as he opened fire again. "Hey, did we ever check him for krogan DNA?"

"Naw, pretty sure—shit!" Jacob shouted. His icon on my HUD winked out.

"And then there were two?" I asked, peeking out carefully. Nothing tried to blow me away immediately and I leaned out a little farther, looking for whatever had taken out Jacob.

"Get your head back in cover. Prime coming up, high on the right." Garrus barked. "I'll circle out and pick it off. You give me a ten count and then try and get its attention."

"At some point we are going to talk about me being bait." I knelt and started counting in my head, darting out at ten, spraying shots in what I hoped was the right direction.

The geth prime loomed. A little voice in the back of my head let out a gibbering sound of panic as I tracked my shots towards it. I felt like I was shooting at it with a squirt gun as the first of my shot smashed into its shields. Blue flickers silhouetted its form as its shields flared, and it raised its weapon—which from my view had more in common with artillery than a rifle.

Well. Crap.

The prime's head shattered into light as something slammed into it, taking the rest of its body with it into oblivion.

"Round Two is over."

I stood straightening as the electronic voice started counting down and reloaded as I stepped out of cover. "How you feeling, Jacob?"

"Like something stepped on my face. God damn thing spawned practically on top of me," he griped back, jogging out from the other side of the arena. "Same set-up, less dying?"

"Sure. I mean, as long as you get shot less this time." Garrus chuckled. "You know, they are never going to let that slide."

Jacob muttered something something under his breath as Garrus looked my direction. "You good?"

Neither of them could see the wolf-like grin on my face, but they surely heard it in my voice. "I'm fine. Look at the score."

The other two glanced up at the overhead projection. A flashing 3200 blinked down at us, nearly a thousand points higher than the other night. Jacob grinned. "Alright, let's get it done."

* * *

><p>"Not bad at all!" shouted Jenny from the table that she, Gabby, Kelly, and Ken had laid claim to. Jacob, Garrus, and I hurried up the stairs to the main floor to join them, and I squeezed in next to Kelly.<p>

Kelly turned and leaned up to place a kiss on my cheek, which also let her whisper in my ear. "Your stalker is back."

I fought the urge to go stiff as a board and murmured in response. "Where?"

"At your seven o'clock. She got here just after you guys went into the match. Wanna bet which one she tuned into?" she said, leaning back against me.

I shifted a bit so I could wrap my arms around her waist. It felt good to be this close, even if half of the reason was so we could talk without being easily overheard. "Not a chance in hell I'm taking that bet. What kind of idiot do you think I am?"

"The kind I hope I can train." Kelly smirked as she leaned back against me and I glanced in the direction she'd indicated. It took me a moment, considering she'd changed her hair and her outfit, but I managed to pick out Alice Wake, sitting at table with three guys. She had their full attention, and they seemed to be having a normal conversation, flirting and all, but considering that it'd been an entirely different set of guys two nights ago, the odds she was just here for the company seemed unlikely.

"I don't suppose we have enough evidence to have her picked up?" I whispered in Kelly's ear as I put my back to the Cerberus operative again.

"Not according to Admiral Anderson. She wiped the cameras from the apartment, and she's not actually done anything here. He could pick her up, but she'd be out in a few hours at the most." Kelly pushed against my hands and I let go. She turned around to face me, looking up. "Are you alright? That looked like it hurt. That second round, I mean."

I rolled my shoulder. "I'm fine. Wasn't that bad." I didn't mention that my whole left side felt like a it'd been punched by Grunt a couple times, and I'd probably be purple from my shoulder to my knee. That just didn't seem manly. Couldn't have that.

"Damn, she works fast!" Ken tapped something on the table, and the scoreboard from our match vanished, replaced with a news article, posted just minutes ago.

I sighed as I read the headline. "'Pre-Spaceflight Human drawn to idea of Bloodsports'? Really? Yes, because holograms bleed. When did she write this, she's been here the entire time!"

"Probably didn't, some intel spook did it for her, she just gets to sign her name to it," Ken muttered. "What's not fair, is that it's been read two thousand times since it went up, oh … fifteen minutes ago?"

I didn't even bother trying to hide my disgust. "She's got to be trying to get a reaction. That's the only thing that makes any sense at all."

"Maybe." Garrus said reaching over and picking up his drink from the table. "Anyone else going to have a go, or was that the last one for the night?"

Ken and Gabby both shook their heads. Jenny gave them an irritated look but shook hers as well. "I want in next time though."

"If nothing else, you can have my spot," Garrus promised, setting the empty glass down. "In that case, I think it's time to walk the love birds home."

I rolled my eyes as we all stepped away from the table, Kelly's hand slipping into mine as we headed for the door. I glanced one more time at Alice's table, but she didn't even look in my direction, at least not obviously. I couldn't tell if she didn't notice, or if she was just that good, able to track our progress without bothering to actually look.

It'd been nearly two weeks since Alice's break in, and our little group had fallen into a routine. In the mornings I would meet Jacob or Garrus, and they'd drill me on hand to hand, weapons, and in the last few days, security systems and ways to bypass them. We'd break for lunch, then I'd stop in to see Mordin and the other Alliance doctors that Anderson had brought in. More tests, scans and the occasional blood sample would follow, then I'd meet Kelly for a combination of dinner and Fifty Questions, then off to the Armax Arena or settle in for a movie. Vid. Whatever.

I liked the routine, especially since I knew it would end eventually. Whether Alice and Cerberus got tired of observing from a distance, or the Alliance decided that it wanted a more controlled environment, at some point the vacation would be over.

"What do you think?" Kelly asked.

I blinked, my attention snapping back to the conversation that I'd totally not been listening to. "I … uh … think whatever you think?"

Kelly gave me a strange look that crossed amusement and annoyance, while both Gabby and Jenny burst into laughter. Ken and Jacob traded a look that I had no idea what it meant, and Garrus tilted his head, a rumbling chuckle coming from him. All-in-all, that had most definitely not been the right answer.

"Very smooth," Garrus said, as we passed the arena's front desk. He turned toward Kelly. "Well, since he's clearly not able to think for himself, a little alcohol won't hurt him in the least. I have to go meet with Captain Bailey in an hour though, so you all are on your own. Try to not get killed."

"Eh, I'm game," Ken said. Gabby shot him a warning look, but the resident scotsman ignored the danger and put on more steam. Ken glanced around between us. "What about that new club, Purgatory?"

Kelly and I stiffened at the same time, that name ringing in our ears like a damn bell. I gave her hand a little squeeze, and she returned it. Messaged received: you are not alone.

"I'd be fine with that,." Jenny piped up. She elbowed Jacob, who gave her a startled look in return. "What about you?

"Uh, sure. I guess I'm cool with that," Jacob flipped his omnitool open. "You all heading straight there? I need to run and errand or two before I can completely check out for the night."

"Sends us a message when you get there. I heard this place is huge," Ken said, leading us towards the waiting skycars.

Kelly and I fell back as Jacob and Garrus both took off. I squeezed her hand again. "Sorry. Got lost in thought. Do you want to head out with them? We don't have to."

Kelly smiled and leaned up to kiss my cheek. Her lips were soft and warm, and I didn't mind the sensation in the least. "No, let's go out and have a good time. Cutting loose for a bit would be good for all of us, I think."

I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer as we moved to rejoin the others. That would be more than alright with me. What harm would a few drinks do?

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes and searing beams of white hot agony lanced straight into my brain.I threw an arm over my face in an attempt to defend myself from the sudden attack, the pain unbearable. The light vanished and I groaned, my head pounding like I'd let Zaeed ring my bells a few dozen more times.<p>

I lay there, doing a mental inventory of both my current state, which seemed to be somewhere near death, but lacking the whole bleeding out or an actual injury.

Hangover. Joy.

Someone nearby made a unhappy noise and something warm and soft pressed against my side, molding against me in a very appealing way. I slowly peaked one eye open.

Kelly shifted a little closer, her cheek pressed against my chest as she used me for a pillow. We'd apparently kicked the covers off the bed, and she seemed to have stolen one one of my extra shirts and had used that for sleepwear, and not much else. She murmured, still asleep or so far gone she might as well be, and curled close, one of her fair-skinned legs laying across mine.

For that matter, I wasn't entirely dressed either, though I didn't have any recollection of taking off my shirt, or shoes. My pants were still on, which a part of me was both disappointed and relieved about. Things had gotten crazy, but hopefully not so crazy that I wouldn't be able to look people in the eye.

I carefully opened my other eye, slowly adapting to the dim lighting, my head throbbing in time with my heart as I listened to Kelly breathing, and just … relaxed as I tried to piece together the previous night's events. I didn't get very far before things started getting disjointed. I remembered getting to Purgatory, Ken and Jacob beelining it for the bar, and a pair of shots of something red and blue, and then a whole lot of confusing colors and sounds.

"How long have you been awake?"

I looked down at Kelly, who hadn't moved really, but she'd opened her eyes, one hand rubbing the sleep out of them in a slow, lazy gesture.

I smiled and lowered my hand from my head to slip it behind her back. "Not long. Will be fine as long as no one makes loud noises. Probably."

She laughed and shifted, settling her chin on my chest and looking into my eyes. "Someone had a little issue with overindulging. You are lucky I insisted you take those meds and drink some water, or I think you might have been sleeping next to the toilet instead."

"Well, thank you," I said, laughing. It hurt, my head rattling, but not so much to make me stop. "Much better company here than in the bathroom."

She smiled, her eyes sparkling. "Not that I was complaining, but you kind of insisted. You were … persuasive, too. "

My cheeks heated up and I glanced down, double checking to make sure that I _was_ in fact still wearing pants. Or had I gotten dressed at some point? "Uh, did we …"

Kelly laughed, leaning up to press her lips to mine in a slow kiss before she answered. "No. I figured you were too drunk to be making that kind of decision."

I relaxed, leaning my head back. It wasn't that I didn't want to explore things with Kelly in more detail. A lot, _lot_ more detail. But I wanted it to be sober and in full control of my faculties if we were going to take that step.

Kelly pushed herself up onto an elbow, eyeing me thoughtfully. "I left the painkillers on the counter. Why don't you go find something to take them with and get dressed. I'll shower, then we can figure out breakfast?"

"I'm tempted to suggest _we_ shower," I teased as I propped myself up. "But we can save that for later."

Kelly laughed and slid off the bed. She stretched, a languid, lazy motion before she started towards the shower. I felt my mouth dry out a bit as and I just couldn't be sure if that had been an invitation to join her or just more teasing on her part. The door closed behind her and the water started running.

I growled under my breath, and rolled out of the bed, my head hammering like someone had rang a gong next to my ear. Yeah, not in any shape for shenanigans right now. I picked up my discarded shirt, tugging it on as I wandered out of the bedroom, bee-lining it for the kitchen and the promised pain meds.

I almost missed Anderson at the kitchen table, reading a datapad, coffee mug in his hand. He looked up as I entered the kitchen, an unreadable expression on his face as he watched me. "Good morning, son. How you feeling?"

His tone didn't give me a clue how to react. "I uh … have felt … better." I pulled my gaze away as I snatched up the pills, downing a pair with a glass of water.

"I'd guess so," Anderson said.

I glanced back at him, but he'd returned to reading his datapad. I relaxed a bit. Not mad. Maybe just a bit annoyed, but not mad.

"Though if Ms. Chambers is going to spend the night more often, I'd recommend closing the door in the future."

"I … yes, sir," I managed to choke out. I didn't think it was possible to die from embarrassment, but if it was, I would be well on my way to it.

Anderson's rumbling laugh filled the kitchen. "Relax, son.I've seen shore leave before. I just didn't expect you to be the party kind."

"I'm really not." I refilled my glass and sat down opposite him. "On the other hand, once things start, it's really hard to stop."

"I've been there." Anderson smiled and held up his datapad, giving it a little wave for emphasis. "I have to sit through one more meeting like the one from yesterday, and I'll need to blow off a little steam myself."

"All things considered, sir, I'd recommend shooting something over drinking. Pretty sure that's actually safer." I rubbed my head, the meds already working to dull the sharp edges. "Hell, even getting shot at might be safer."

Anderson laughed again and you had to like the sound. The man conveyed a sense of confident warmth. He could be hard, just like Commander Shepard, but Anderson had smoothed away a bit of that harsh edge with time and experience.

I heard Kelly before I saw her as she called from the other room. "I'm thinking we go out for breakfast? What sounds goo—" She came into the kitchen, still drying her hair and froze, her eyes getting as big as saucers. "A-admiral, I-I didn't know you were here."

"It is my apartment, Ms. Chambers, even if I do spend most of my time in the embassy," Anderson said, openly amused. He looked between her and me for a moment, smiling as he rose. "I'll leave you kids to your own devices. Try to stay out of trouble."

Kelly and I looked at each other as Anderson left, the front door whooshing as he left the—_no, his, don't forget—_apartment. Her cheeks were scarlet, and if the way I felt was any indication, mine matched perfectly.

I coughed. "Well. That was … awkward."

"Oh my god. When did he get in? I didn't even …" She covered her face, so mortified that she couldn't speak.

I couldn't help it. I started laughing as I crossed the distance to her and wrapped her in a hug. She started shaking with laughter as well after a moment.

"Oh god. We are never living last night down, are we?" she said, wiping a tear away.

"I'm pretty sure that is going to haunt us for as long as we live. If not longer." I glanced down as my omnitool dinged at me with a pair of messages. I pulled away from her so I could flip it open, scanning the first one. "And apparently Mordin wants me to come by a little earlier, so we'll see to rush breakfast a bit.

"That's fine. I need to finish filling out some paperwork at the embassy, so I'll be busy there for a while. I'm getting classified as an Alliance Physician, if everything goes through." She laughed, grabbing a napkin and dabbing her eyes. "I just got cleaned up, too."

"You look fine. And congrats. I hope that's not bad luck or anything to say it now." I flipped open the second message and frowned at the image, till it hit me what I was looking at. I choked and slapped it closed just as Kelly gave me a perplexed look. "Um … I know last night got … crazy. But you didn't mention us doing body shots." And I thought Anderson comments had been embarrassing. "... Off an asari dancer."

Kelly just started giggling.

* * *

><p>Mordin's lab wasn't actually supposed to be his lab, but I got the impression from the people at the hospital that they didn't know how to stop him. I waved at the girl at the front desk as I walked past, not really bothering to wait for her to wave me through. I'd been through here so many times, that everyone at the front desk knew who I was and where I was going.<p>

A few people whispered as I walked through, and I glanced toward the sound. The pair of nurses stopped speaking as I passed, and I kept moving, trying to not think of what kind of thing would elicit that reaction.

_I am never ever drinking again. Never. If the option is go back into stasis or drink, I'm going into stasis. _

The door to Mordin's lab opened and I looked around, spotting the salarian scientist in the corner at workbench. I moved to join him, peering down and trying to figure out what he's doing. "Good morning. What did you do to your omnitool?"

"Not mine, yours. Only need to finish … done." Mordin straightened and turned, offering it to me. "Yours damaged on Purgatory. Decided upgrade needed."

I looked down at the band still on my wrist before taking the one he offered me. "I've had it flicker a few times, but nothing too bad. Didn't realize anyone else had noticed."

"Ms. Chambers explained how you survived there. Very cleverly done. But model not designed for that kind of stress." He tapped the new omnitool in my hand with one long finger. "Newer model, much stronger power reserve, additional defensive and offensive capabilities. Recommend practice." Mordin looked around, frowning. "Perhaps not here. Could be quite destructive, some chemicals flammable. Would be ill-advised."

I swapped omnitools and synced my information to the new one with a few taps on the screen. So much easier than having to re-enter everything manually like I had to on my old cellphone, though a little creepy too. Data seemed just a bit too easy to move from one thing to another. Not secure in the slightest. I looked up at Mordin. "So, should we go somewhere and test it?"

Mordin nodded. "Yes. Should practice before attempting to use in self-defense." He frowned as the door to the lab opened again, and Garrus entered, his eyes darting around the room in a predatory manner. It set my teeth on edge, my blood pressure rising.

"Mordin, have you had anyone in here. Anything out of place?" Garrus demanded striding in, all business.

Mordin's frown deepened, his eyes narrowing. "Unlikely. Security measures untouched. Why?"

"We got a message from Shepard that said to get all our people off The Citadel and into hiding. He didn't give Anderson a clue why, just that things had gone badly and that there was going to be fallout." Garrus glanced out the window, watching a pair of skycars warily. "Micah, you are getting off the station. Mordin, I know you didn't plan on coming back, but you might want to consider it as well."

Mordin shook his head. "Mission complete. May return to Surkesh. We shall see."

"Suit yourself." Garrus turned to me, his hand hovering over his side arm like he expected to be attacked at any moment. "Micah, we need to go. I think I was followed on my way here."

Shit. Why did this keep happening to me.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **I am sorry! Please don't hate for this being...what...month's late? *hides* Holidays are bad times to attempt to do anything cohesive lately, and work has been actually quite busy (including my first work business trip.) THEORETICALLY, the next few chapters should be faster, as I've actually got segements of them written that i just have to piece together. We'll see if that's what happens in practice though. Thanks for reading! _


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